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Have you ever heard of bentonite clay before?

Well, you may be very surprised to hear that individuals in various cultures refer to it as a “healing clay” that detox the body and hair.

In fact, many people enjoy bentonite clay benefits by using it externally on the skin. You can feel the tightening effect on your face and body but im going to talk to you about detoxing your hair using a bentonite clay mask using just 3 ingredients (bentonite powder, apple cider vinegar and coconut oil)

First, let me tell you a little about it. What is bentonite clay? It’s actually composed of ash made from volcanos. The largest known source of bentonite clay is found in Fort Benton, Wyoming, where numerous volcanos are present.

Bentonite Clay

 

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Incredibly powerful, possessing a negative charge (anionic). This makes it an ideal clay for cleansing and detoxifying, as it has the ability to remove positively charged (cationic) conditioners and products that can build up on the hair and scalp. It is also said to have the ability to draw out toxins, heavy metals, chemicals, and impurities. It helps cleanse and lift impurities from the hair, aiding in conditioning, shine, softness, and definition.

Apple cider Vingear

 

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Serves as an antimicrobial agent (warding off infection), and helps ease the itching and flakiness associated with scalp conditions such as dandruff, psoriasis, and seborrheic dermatitis. ACV is also able to improve the shininess of hair and increase moisture retention by causing cuticles to lay flat via pH balancing the hair. Through this same mechanism, it is also believe that Apple Cider Vinegar can correct hair porosity issues.

Coconut Oil

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Oil with a high saturated fat content, rich in vitamins and nutrients beneficial to the hair. Due to its low molecular weight, coconut is one of the few oils proven to actually penetrate the hair shaft. It protects and coats the hair, and prevents protein loss.
DIY clay mask has forever changed my natural life. Because It hydrates, moisturizes, de-frizzes, softens, shine and reshape your curl pattern. I needed a detox because I was experiencing dryness and my curls needed some attention.
What You’ll Need:
a plastic or glass bowl (never use anything metal)
a plastic, wooden, or rubber stirring utensil

1/2 cup (or 4oz) of bentonite clay

2 tablespoon of coconut oil but I use more
6 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar (unfiltered)

Directions
Add the clay first, then the oils, in your mixing bowl. You can begin stirring if you like, or leave it all until the very end (I prefer to stir after everything is all in). Next, add your 6 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar. Allow it to foam for 10-15 seconds before adding in the coconut oil. The reaction between the clay and apple cider vinegar is essential to avoiding a lumpy mix.
Stir everything together until you have a smooth mixture that is roughly the consistency of yogurt.

It should look like this after all the ingredients are mixed together

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Apply the mask to clean, damp or wet hair from root to end with your fingers. I advise the use of plastic gloves because it will get pretty messy.
To ensure even coverage, work in small sections. If your hair begins to dry while applying the mask, keep a spray bottle nearby to spritz and keep the hair damp, but not dripping wet. After you’ve completely coated your hair with the mask, cover it with a plastic cap for 20-30 minutes, sometimes longer. You can use a hooded dryer or steamer for extra penetration, or just let the heat from your head do all the work.
When you’re ready to rinse, I highly recommend hopping in the shower. It will be incredibly difficult to get the clay out under the power of a sink faucet alone.

follow up with a conditioner of choice. I personally like giovanni deep conditioner. Rake it through your hair from ends to root, and let it sit for about 5 minutes then rinse.

Your end result will be hydrated, ultra-moisturized, soft, frizz-free, uber-defined hair.

Try it and let me know how amazing your hair look and feels.

Thank me later.

Yours truly,
Tonya deshawn

How to know if you really have a good man




#relationship #love #happy #life #boyfriend #girlfriend #romance #happy #lovehim #instagood #funny #gf #instalove #boy #couple #motivation #kisses #romantic #smile #cool #alone #missing #clever #thanks #sorry #college #samratashok #relationshipgoals #goals #bhfyp

How to know if you really have a good man. 


I will never forget what my first husband told me when I  asked him,  why did he cheat on me.  


His response was simple… 


His answer:   Because,  you let me. 


 Well quite naturally it doesn’t take  rocket 🚀 science to tell you that anybody who cheats on you,  is NOT a good man/ woman for you.  To me, that goes without saying because if he loves you,   truly loves you,   he will do everything in his power,  never to put you in any negative situation involving another woman. No ifs ands or buts about it. 

We can all agree that social media is of the Devil!! Lol 😆. Its so easy to cheat and communicate with other women.  So,  how to know when you’ve found a good man?  Thats an easy answer.  By his actions.  How does he treat you?  Be honest.  How does he make you feel?  What vibes do your family 👪 and friends get from him?  Does he make you feel protected?  When your in a situation where your  treated unfairly or disrespected,  does he immediately take your side and straighten it out ? Or does he remain quiet and say nothing at all.  In other words,  does he support you and have your back at all times even if it involves his family and friends? 

To Beautiful blended families

 In this day and age,  there is a strong possibility that you may find yourself in a situation where he may already have kids.  And don’t get me wrong,  theres absolutely nothing wrong with that.  My question  is how comfortable does he make you feel in that situation?  Does he make sure that the kids mother respect your role in his kids life?  Is he showing the utmost respect to you in  his co parenting relationship with his kids mother?   Does he allow you room to develop your own relationship with his kids or does he make you feel like your role is not as important in his kids life?  If you find yourself in this situation,  these questions are very important to know the answers to.   Having blended families these days are very common.  So being in a relationship or marriage can become resentful or dreadful if its not a mutual understanding between all partipating parties involved.   We hear horror stories about baby 👶 mama drama or baby 👶 daddy drama. The ex-wife or baby mama should never be allowed to feel she is more important than you. That can cause so many other disrespectful problems but   Thats another story in itself lol  but it all can be avoided if  it is  communicated and understood early on in your relationship.  

Also,  I must ask this question  because this may be the most important of them all..  And that question is how much do you love yourself?  I’ll tell you why I think this is the most important question.  Ive learned that men are very smart.  (Close your mouths ladies,  its true)   They pay attention to more than we as women realize.  Men may not always know what they want in a woman 👩 but I promise you,  they definitely know what they Do Not  want in a woman. A man pays attention to your actions more than you think.  They pay attention to how you carry yourself,  how you act in public, the clothes you wear, what kind of mother you are to your kids, how fast you allow them to meet your kids,  how often your in the streets, how fast you give up the vajayjay,  how good you  are with money, whether or not you can hold an intellectual conversation, whether or not he wants you to meet his mother and most of all,  they pay attention to how you as a woman ALLOW them to treat you and what you allow them to get away with.   They test you without you knowing it. They  will never tell you those things because men allow you to show them who you really are and from the information  that they receive from you ladies,  they’ll treat you accordingly. So loving and respecting yourself is just as important as knowing if you have a good man. Teach a man how to love and be the right man  to you by loving and being the right one  to yourself.    



Thank you for reading and would love to hear your comments below. Oh ! don’t forget to “like” and follow my blog 

Natural hair photoshoot


I’ve always wanted to do a natural hair photoshoot but  never  got around to doing it. As of lately, I have become fond of photography.  I like it because it allows me to be creative and fun.  I’ve also started wearing head wraps and makeup. In fact, I enjoy taking pictures so much, I decided to start doing photoshoots of natural hair women and men as a celebration of our natural beauty. I love to travel too so I figured I could combine the two and enjoy where it takes me.  Here are some of my pictures

Continue reading “Natural hair photoshoot”

My baggage


 #spirituality #love #meditation #spiritual #god #peace #wisdom #life #faith #soul #art #enlightenment #yoga #consciousness #inspiration #zen #nature #healing #mindfulness #quotes #awakening #religion #motivation #believe #spiritualawakening #goodvibes #energy #instagood #compassion #bhfyp #baggage, #growth, #personal, #truth

This was really hard for me to publish because this was something that i chose to keep inside but maybe my unfiltered truth can be someone elses break through. So i share with you unselfishly. Here goes……………………………. I didn’t eat too healthy today. Had honeycomb cereal for  breakfast,  watermelon for a snack ,  2 hot dogs and 1 bottle of water and Chex mix for snack. I have been feeling frustrated with myself and everything surrounding it. Marriage could be better, 2 kids leaving for the military soon, 37 without a real career going for myself making 500 a month,  and everybody looks to me to fix there problems. Sometimes I can handle it and other times, it’s just too much to handle.  Like I’m being pushed into a corner wall.  It’s hard for me to stick with one thing. I never finish what I start. I complain all the time and I trust no one. I’m very critical of others but I am offended when I’m criticized.  I don’t feel worthy a lot of times. I am the happiest when I’m with my kids. I like doing hair, I like giving advice, I like helping people with my money secretly, I love respectful kids, I’m excellent with money management,  I am detail oriented,  very organized, I love to be around positivity all the time, negativity puts me in a bad frame of mind, I love to laugh and make people laugh,  I strive for harmony, I hate liars even though I lie to myself, I don’t say what I really feel inside, I hide my feelings from others,  I worry what others think of me, I always want people to like and be pleased with me, I either don’t have any friends or I’m just not a good one, I’m a nagging person,  I love hard, I forgive fairly easy, I believe that Jesus died for me, I have been born again, I have accept Christ as my lord and savior, I love writing and putting my feelings down on paper, I love to see people do well in life whether they like me or not,  I’m a people’s person most of the time, I crave knowledge and wisdom, I love to show love and affection to the mistreated and homeless, I have a quick temper and a attitude problem, I can be one of the sweetest people you’ll ever meet, I get lazy when I’m bored, It’s hard for me to sit down and relax most of the time, I almost always see the glass half empty instead of half full, I don’t take well to rejection,  I’m too prideful to ask for help but I take pride in people in need of help,  I lose motivation really fast, I haven’t really healed from my past ( just kinda tuck it in my pockets), it’s hard for me to get over stuff, I loved my father but i never liked him (he was very  abusive to my mother), I believe I’m mixed but have no real  proof which angers me sometimes, I don’t have a genuine relationship with my only sister( I don’t think she ever got over the fact that I was born), I allow my fears to stop me from doing things I want to experience,  I ignore people’s phone calls when I don’t want to be bothered and I don’t know what my real passion or purpose is….. wheeeeew! !! Never did this before. I guess you can lie to everybody else but you can’t lie to yourself. Laying it all out.. God , can you handle all of this? This is what I’ve been holding onto for years. This is my baggage. 

Protective styles -mini twists


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This is a mini rope twist style. It’s takes about 4 to 5 hours to do. This will be my protective style of choice for a month. I started by cleansing and conditioning my hair, Then I Combed It Out And Sectioned It In 4 Pony tails And Let It Air dry. The only product I used to twist my hair was Murray’s gel lot – lock for natural hair. 1391280628148

 

Let me know if you have any questions or if you need a how to link that I need to post.

Thanks for blessing my page, naturalhairworldconfessions

 

 Why are you trying to please everyone? 


#spirituality #love #meditation #spiritual #god #peace #wisdom #life #faith #soul #art #enlightenment #yoga #consciousness #inspiration #zen #nature #healing #mindfulness #quotes #awakening #religion #motivation #believe #spiritualawakening #goodvibes #energy #instagood #compassion #bhfyp #stop, #codendency

Lately, I’ve been running into so many people who have a down fall of constantly trying to please other people.  I know many of you reading this can relate. Rather it’s you parents, boyfriend,  wife, children, boss, friends etc.  How many times have you said, I want to go here or wear this outfit but I know (fill in the blank) won’t like it?  So, you end up not doing what you want,  just so someone else is pleased.  Being a people pleaser makes you miserable. I must confess that I had it bad. I put my own feelings aside for people that mattered and it was so bad that I was trying to please people that I knew didn’t like me. How crazy is that? And let’s not talk about relationships. .. Omg, I use to bend over backwards for whoever I was dating to prove myself worthy to him. I liked wearing lipstick but if I knew they didn’t like it, I wouldn’t wear it. Or what about this all familar scenerio.

me: I want to go eat at McDonald’s.

Boyfriend: I like Burger King better. ( even though I hate Burger king)

me: oh ok, I’m sure I can find something there.

Meanwhile, I’m sitting at the restaurant miserable because I’m not happy with my choice but My hardest obstacle in life was my own mother.( believe it or not) My mom always used these manipulating tactics with me growing up. For instance, I always wanted to go to the airforce. So, after high school, I took the Asvab test to go to the Airfoce. That was around the same time my father passed away. So when my mom found out my plans, she started saying to me how if I left, she wouldn’t have anyone else here and how anything could happen to her. So instead of going through with my plans, I allowed her to manipulate me into staying and I never left.  I’m still here in the same city (One decision I will always regret). When she saw that worked, she started using it to pick my friends. After I was married, I told her that  my new husband and I ate thinking of moving 1 hour away to start our lives and what did she do?  She starting tell me how she’s getting old and if she dies,  she wanted me to have the house. I’m like, ok this is getting ridiculous. On her part and mine because I was  allowing her to do it. To make a long story short. We are still moving and I am determined to live my life for me. My advice to you all is to realize your worth and start living like your worthy. Stop living to please others cause you’ll never satisfy them. Satisfying yourself is much more rewarding even though it’s hard to do at first. It’s worth it in the end.

SEX…. Is it more of a chore or enjoyment?


This is another open forum for the ladies and gentlemen…

Question: Is sex more of a chore in a marriage/relationship or enjoyment?

I know some people can relate to  both sides. You hear about people being in relationship for a couple of years and lose the sexual enjoyment. Instead it become more of a chore. Something you do out of an obligation. If you didn’t have to do it you wouldn’t.

Quick scenario: chick gets ready for bed in a head scarf, sweat pants, big t-shirt with one sock on and the other one off. Boyfriend/ husband/fiancé, scratching his butt real hard, farts, look at his chic like she did it then yanks his boxers out of his crack just before getting under the covers. The chic has all kind of names going through her head that she wants to call him but instead both of them turn their backs to each other until……… he turns around and press it against her butt and then she has 2 seconds to come up with a good fake snore, get a fast head ache or take a deep breath and give in hoping it will be over soon.

My question is where does things go wrong? and why?  There are no right or wrong opinions.  I

I feel that sex is very important in  a relationship.  It’s where 2 people get a chance to connect on a spiritual level with their soul mate. It relieves stress, it makes your bond closer. It’s enjoyment for me… what about you?

Side Chicks..


This is a open forum for the Ladies and Gentlemen…….

Why are some women OK with being the side chic? 

I see it all of the time. I asked a guy his opinion and he said, ” I think females want to feel loved even if its not real. They think that some attention is better than none at all. We hear all the time about women without fathers in their life tend to look for  a man to fill the void but what about the mothers who raise these daughters? What have these women been exposed to growing up as a child from their mothers? Did the child grow up seeing the mother being a side chic?  What’s the mentality around it? I want to hear open minded opinions. There are not right or wrong answers. I want you to really think about it before you comment. And if you are a side chic or have been one in the past. Tell us your story… Maybe this information can help someone who might be lost or confused. Hey after all we have all been there whether we did it knowingly or not.

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