#relationshiprepair #personaldevelopment #relationships #love #successquote #listening #communication #marriagematters #marriage #couplesgoals #nosex #sexless #couplestherapy #lifecoach #selfdevelopment #counseling #counselling #averyaffirmations #averycounselling #langleybc #fortlangley #relationshipmaintenance #breakingbarriers #discernment #ishope #course #mindfulness #surreybc #techniques #deadbedroom

In general, Everyone has sexual needs. Am I right? Whether your single,in a relationship or married.

When in a committed relationship, you are restricted from satisfying those needs outside of the relationship. (Supposedly)
But what if your partner has no obligation to satisfy these needs for you within the relationship?
How do you handle that situation?

I was sitting in a restaurant one day eating by myself and i overheard a conversation with 5 ladies and 3 guys talking about their sexless marriages. To my surprise, it was the women who wanted sex more in the marriage. And it was the husbands who refused to give it up. That blew my mind. I always thought guys were the horny macoroni’s. The conversation had my full nosey attention. As i continued to pretend to be into my salad, i overheard one lady explain in frustration that it’s not merely the act of sex. She said, What I’m missing is being desired, having the intimacy and spontaneity that we had before. Breathing in each other’s air, cuddling up, caressing each other while watching tv, him kissing my shoulders or love tapping my derriere as I walk by, all of it. I miss the Secret glances, the anticipation. Where did it go and do I have to go the rest of my life without it? This is not the relationship that I was “promised” when we were married . The longer, I go without, the more I feel the attraction towards him leaving me. It is, in fact, a betrayal on his behalf. She finished her story in tears of frustration.

While everyone consoled her by rubbing her back and handing her tissues, I heard another lady began speaking.
By this time, I’m all in the conversation.

She blurted out. It’s been three and a half months since we have been together sexually and I’m starting to consider other alternatives. I started chewing my salad slow because i was afraid if i continued to chew fast, the crunching noise would become too loud for me to hear the juicy story i was listening to across the table. She continued. This isn’t what I signed up for, but the phrase for better or worse still means something to me. If we can’t improve things I’m afraid I’ll be someone who will cheat, and that isn’t who I want to be.

One of the guys butted in and said listen, I understand 100%.
Two wrongs don’t make a right, but the hole created lends to so many other problems such blocks in communciation, unconscious distancing, wandering eyes and the desire for the intimate touch even if it’s from another person/lover. It’s a terrible place in an otherwise very happy marriage.

some of the others commenting said they felt justified in cheating. But while that solves their problem temporarily, it creates its own new problems. In which they all shook their heads in agreement. Eventually they all had a chance to express their deepest feelings and were preparing to leave. After they left the restaurant, I sat there pondering over what id just overheard. I also realized that they all left with no resolve in sight. It has to be such an awful feeling to be married to someone that you love and crave sexually and them not crave you just as much. It has to feel like torture. Especially, If medical issues have been ruled out and your spouse won’t make any effort to help bring desire and sex back into the marriage when you lovingly and honestly express your needs, well, that’s telling you a lot.

In conclusion, Im curious.

What are your feelings on this subject? Cheat,divorce or suffer?

Fight for your marriage!


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#spirituality #love #meditation #spiritual #god #peace #wisdom #life #faith #soul #art #enlightenment #yoga #consciousness #inspiration #zen #nature #healing #mindfulness #quotes #awakening #religion #motivation #believe #spiritualawakening #goodvibes #energy #instagood #compassion #bhfyp #marriage, #counseling, #relationships, #help, #relationshipgoals

I want to talk about a subject that everyone is so excited about in the beginning then once they do it, they realize it’s not all peaches and cream.. … yeah, you guessed it
MARRIAGE.
I was married in 2005 and divorced in 2008 due to infidelity. Then I married my best friend in 2012. Let me first say that marriage can be such a beautiful experience in life. But it’s also very challenging. What makes it so challenging? ( I just read your mind) well, when you marry someone, you become “as one”. All there issues become y’all issues. If you do something, go out somewhere, buy something, communicate thru text, email, skype etc, the other spouse should be on the same accord of agreement with it. If they are NOT or they don’t know about it, then it’s wrong in a marriage. When we make a decision to do something, we know if it’s right or not. We know if our other half would be pleased or not. And hey! If you are someone who doesn’t think like that then before you do it… ask yourself, would this piss my honey off if they found out? When you start making decisions that you hope the other person won’t find out about is when you move your marriage into a dangerous territory called division or separation. When there is a situation or subject that divides or separates a couple then you are not on the page ” as one”. I hope that make sense. Almost everything that one spouse does will have a effect on the other spouse. If one spouse does not pay a light bill on time and nothing is communicated, it will affect both of you because you both will be in the dark. THAT SMALL situation created division between the marriage because of no communication. That!! Ladies and gentlemen is a small crack of opportunity for the devil to work his magic in to your beautiful union. That’s all he need. An opportunity. He’s saying yes!!! I thought I would never get a chance to tear this marriage up. I couldn’t get them to be mad and breakup before cause every time you see them, there either praying together, praying for each other, keeping each other informed, laughing, having bible study with each other or having the best sex ever. Lol ( rubbing his hands together) the husband let the lights get cut off so I know she’s gonna be mad. Let me see how much damage I can do to this other wise beautiful marriage. That’s how the devil thinks about your marriage. He seeks to steal ( your marriage) kill ( your marriage) and destroy ( your marriage). So it’s up to you how you respond to the upsets in your marriage. Respond wrong ( you will give the devil a window of opportunity) respond right ( the devil lost his opportunity). Husbands, put god and wife first. Wives, put god and your husband first. Some of us have allowed the devil to screw our marriage up for so long that we don’t know where to start. That’s ok. God does… start with him. Just remember in a marriage that every one of us has weaknesses. No one is perfect so remove that expectation from your spirit. You have faults just like they do. When it seems like it hurts to think about making your marriage work because of the hurt and pain that you’ve endured. I understand that feeling all so good but pray for your spouse and ask God to restore you from the inside out and make you two whole again. Find you a prayer and fast on it every day and every night. Kiss your mate when you really feel like slapping the hell out of them. Love them hard even when you ” feel” they don’t deserve it. Your not doing it for them, your doing it as a sacrifice to god. Die to yourself. Fight for your marriage spiritually. If you really want it and watch god work.

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