I’m going to share with you all a personal moment in my life, when I didnt feel so pretty or good enough body wise. Being on social media and comparing myself to the people I saw on there. It was hard not seeing ppl on there that looked like myself.  I became self conscious and it showed in my personality towards others. It was after I had my 2nd son. My weight refuse to go down.  I didnt know how to deal with it or what to do to fix it. I had only one idea …..starve myself.  Yes, I know some of you personal trainers out there probably cringed when you read that but hey I didnt know any better at the time and I really had no one to teach me differently.  Starving myself seemed like it was working until my hair started falling out. Oh and I started getting a fever. And don’t get me started on the constant constipation, no energy and I even developed acid.  reflux. On top of all of that yall, I ended up gaining more weight. I couldn’t understand what I was doing wrong.  No eating = skinny …..right?     WRONG !!!!!!


My body was refusing to let go of the food I was eating because it didn’t know when it would get its next meal. Starving myself was having the opposite effect on my body. WTH !!!!???

After a couple of years of this, I realized that I wasn’t helping myself but hurting myself.  It wasn’t until I almost put myself into the hospital that I realized that the root of my problems was that I didn’t have any self love..  omg, I didn’t love myself. I didnt need to work on my weight, I needed to work on loving myself. Wow!! That hit me like a ton of bricks. So I shifted my thoughts from being over weight to how do I start loving myself. Which in return helped me to lose weight in the process. I started by researching ways to love yourself.

1st, was accept yourself just as you are, even if your not where you want to be. Now I must be honest, I knew this was going to be a hard one for me.

2nd, I had to stop comparing myself to others. So while I was going through this process, I took a break from social media for awhile.

3rd, I started walking. I used this time to give myself compliments the whole entire walk.  Yep, sure did.

4th, I started carrying a gallon of water with me everywhwere i went.   Omg water was soooo nasty to me at first but I saw how much water weight I was getting rid of so it started encouraging me to drink more of it.

5th, I stayed off of the scale. The break up was real. Sorry scale but we need to take break from each other for awhile.

6th, I started eating 5 small meals a day. High protein low carb meals.

After awhile of this, I could feel a change in my body and the way that I was feeling about myself.

I begin to realize that there was nothing wrong with my body. It was my mind that needed a diet.  I also started to realize that I wasn’t the only one going through this body shame thing. Both men and women feel this way. After more research I realized young girls and boys are experiencing this shame at an early age at an alarming rate. 

I knew I had to do something to help people  overcome this feeling of self hate but how?

I didnt have the answer back then but when I started photography, I kept running into the same problem with my clients being afraid to do photoshoots because of their ” love handles, stretch marks, big butts,  face, or because of their weigh gain as a whole.  Thats when the light bulb  went off.  I noticed how beautiful and confident they felt after doing a boudoir shoot or something a little sexy.  I enjoyed seeing the self love they found by looking at themselves in a way that they never did before.   I decided that boudoir was a way for me to help, teach and give back all at the same time. 

We are all beautiful. Everyone is not suppose to be skinny.  Some of us are suppose to be voluptuous queens And teddy bear kings. Who doesn’t still love their favorite teddy bear?  Stop being hard on yourselves and show more love and admiration.  C’mon look at yourself in the mirror, blow a kiss at yourself and own that shit….


1. YOU’LL LOOK A-MAZ-ING!!

You’ve heard the words “Boudoir photoshoot” right?, but what exactly is a boudoir photography photoshoot? And why Should you get one done? A boudoir session is a photography session where you wear sexy outfits, lingerie, dresses, and get your photographs taken. While these sessions can seem intimidating here are the top four reasons why you SHOULD do a boudoir session!

Professional makeup, a professional photographer, and professional retouching equals some of the best portraits of yourself that you’ve ever laid your eyes on. It doesn’t matter what size you are either. Waiting to lose those “Last 5, 10, 15, or 50 pounds”? DON’T! Professional photographers know how to pose you to flatter your individual body type.

2.

IT MAKES A GREAT GIFT FOR YOURSELF.

Step out of your comfort zone.. Embrace yourself. Be proud of your journey.. Show off your beauty and give yourself an esteem boost with photographs that you can treasure. Do it for yourself. Be pampered. Indulge. Love every minute!

3.

IT WILL BOOST YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE.

Getting treated like a celebrity for a few hours is great therapy for anyone! But wait until you get to see the photographs for the first time. You will be blown away. You will see how gorgeous you really are and it will put a little swagg in your bag!

4.

MAKE IT A GIRL’S DAY OUT!

Nervous to come in for a session by yourself? GREAT!!!! Make it a girl’s day out! Choose a few of your BFF’s and do a session together! Boudoir photographers offer special girl’s day out collections that include a day of pampering, food, wine, and each lady getting her time in front of the camera!

Remember that you can wear whatever makes you feel sexy and confident; a boudoir session is all about you! When choosing a photographer, look for photographers that specialize in boudoir for the ultimate experience. Think about how you want to be photographed. Don’t put it off, now is the time to indulge yourself!

Check out my website

Www.tonyadeshawnphotography.com

My motto is… once in awhile, take your own breath away 😍


Do you #love yourself? Like really love yourself? If your answer is yes. Let me stop in my tracks and say #congratulations. Its such a beautiful inner feeling. Many people unfortunately never experience that feeling. I realize that now more than ever. Shit, I use to be that person who didn’t love myself as strongly as I should . For some, it began as a child.. With other’s it happend through life’s experiences. Some of us,both male and female are not taught how to love ourselves by our parents or in school. We had to learn these lessons on our own #life #journey. This is the reason why I love doing photography. #Photography is a great self esteem booster. In my line of work, I meet alot of people who are dealing with self image issues, low self esteem, and body shame just to name a few. I like to capture the parts of you that you love about yourself. Both men and women have the same issues about themselves. Some clients like only their eyes. So I capture their eyes in a photograph that they love. Building self esteem has to start somewhere. My hope is to build off the parts of themselves that they love and work our way up to full self love. Seeing yourself in a beautiful light does wonders for a person. I always say, everyone has a story. I just want to be the one who is blessed to share it through my photography.

I am based out of #Columbus #Georgia. I would love to start traveling doing #selfesteem building and #boudoir photoshoots . If your ever in need of a #photoshoot feel free to contact me http://www.tonyadeshawnphotography.com FB: Tonya deshawn IG: TonyaDeshawn

Here’s my latest photoshoot……enjoy😉


My name hov!!! Ohhh!!! H to the ov.. Lol

Ok. Ok. Enough of that before I get hyped and start doing some of my best moves ever..

My name is Tonya Deshawn. I live in Columbus Georgia. Its an hour and a half from Atlanta Georgia. I was raised in Brooklyn New York, Brownsville to be exact. A few years ago, I decided to learn the art of photography. I take that back, I didnt decide, it was decided for me lol ( thanks hubby). My husband decided to buy a camera and hand it to me to take his pictures for a video shoot. At that moment, I had no idea what I was doing but after an hour or so, one would have thought I was a pro by the way I was snapping. Which reminds me to tell you, always be open minded how your gifts and talents introduce themselves to you. Sometimes, it happens in the strangest most unexpected ways. Just be open to try new things. Anyways, I decided to go to photography school for 5 months and become certified in Digital photography because I immediately fell in love with it. I started doing photoshoots and getting really good feedback. In March 2020, I decided to rent a small space and launch my very first photography studio all while shaking in my boots might I add. Lol It was a very proud moment for me because for the 1st time in awhile, I didnt allow fear to discouraged me. If you’d like, feel free to check out my portfolio on my website, FB & IG http://www.tonyadeshawnphotography.com

What kind of photography do I take? Boudoir Photography, Engagements, Headshots, Lifestyle, Business, Party Events, and street photography.

Eventually, I will travel all over, only specializing in Boudoir Photography like this.

How to know if you really have a good man




#relationship #love #happy #life #boyfriend #girlfriend #romance #happy #lovehim #instagood #funny #gf #instalove #boy #couple #motivation #kisses #romantic #smile #cool #alone #missing #clever #thanks #sorry #college #samratashok #relationshipgoals #goals #bhfyp

How to know if you really have a good man. 


I will never forget what my first husband told me when I  asked him,  why did he cheat on me.  


His response was simple… 


His answer:   Because,  you let me. 


 Well quite naturally it doesn’t take  rocket 🚀 science to tell you that anybody who cheats on you,  is NOT a good man/ woman for you.  To me, that goes without saying because if he loves you,   truly loves you,   he will do everything in his power,  never to put you in any negative situation involving another woman. No ifs ands or buts about it. 

We can all agree that social media is of the Devil!! Lol 😆. Its so easy to cheat and communicate with other women.  So,  how to know when you’ve found a good man?  Thats an easy answer.  By his actions.  How does he treat you?  Be honest.  How does he make you feel?  What vibes do your family 👪 and friends get from him?  Does he make you feel protected?  When your in a situation where your  treated unfairly or disrespected,  does he immediately take your side and straighten it out ? Or does he remain quiet and say nothing at all.  In other words,  does he support you and have your back at all times even if it involves his family and friends? 

To Beautiful blended families

 In this day and age,  there is a strong possibility that you may find yourself in a situation where he may already have kids.  And don’t get me wrong,  theres absolutely nothing wrong with that.  My question  is how comfortable does he make you feel in that situation?  Does he make sure that the kids mother respect your role in his kids life?  Is he showing the utmost respect to you in  his co parenting relationship with his kids mother?   Does he allow you room to develop your own relationship with his kids or does he make you feel like your role is not as important in his kids life?  If you find yourself in this situation,  these questions are very important to know the answers to.   Having blended families these days are very common.  So being in a relationship or marriage can become resentful or dreadful if its not a mutual understanding between all partipating parties involved.   We hear horror stories about baby 👶 mama drama or baby 👶 daddy drama. The ex-wife or baby mama should never be allowed to feel she is more important than you. That can cause so many other disrespectful problems but   Thats another story in itself lol  but it all can be avoided if  it is  communicated and understood early on in your relationship.  

Also,  I must ask this question  because this may be the most important of them all..  And that question is how much do you love yourself?  I’ll tell you why I think this is the most important question.  Ive learned that men are very smart.  (Close your mouths ladies,  its true)   They pay attention to more than we as women realize.  Men may not always know what they want in a woman 👩 but I promise you,  they definitely know what they Do Not  want in a woman. A man pays attention to your actions more than you think.  They pay attention to how you carry yourself,  how you act in public, the clothes you wear, what kind of mother you are to your kids, how fast you allow them to meet your kids,  how often your in the streets, how fast you give up the vajayjay,  how good you  are with money, whether or not you can hold an intellectual conversation, whether or not he wants you to meet his mother and most of all,  they pay attention to how you as a woman ALLOW them to treat you and what you allow them to get away with.   They test you without you knowing it. They  will never tell you those things because men allow you to show them who you really are and from the information  that they receive from you ladies,  they’ll treat you accordingly. So loving and respecting yourself is just as important as knowing if you have a good man. Teach a man how to love and be the right man  to you by loving and being the right one  to yourself.    



Thank you for reading and would love to hear your comments below. Oh ! don’t forget to “like” and follow my blog 

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