Sunday, June 24, 2018

How to know if you really have a good man




#relationship #love #happy #life #boyfriend #girlfriend #romance #happy #lovehim #instagood #funny #gf #instalove #boy #couple #motivation #kisses #romantic #smile #cool #alone #missing #clever #thanks #sorry #college #samratashok #relationshipgoals #goals #bhfyp

How to know if you really have a good man. 


I will never forget what my first husband told me when I  asked him,  why did he cheat on me.  


His response was simple… 


His answer:   Because,  you let me. 


 Well quite naturally it doesn’t take  rocket 🚀 science to tell you that anybody who cheats on you,  is NOT a good man/ woman for you.  To me, that goes without saying because if he loves you,   truly loves you,   he will do everything in his power,  never to put you in any negative situation involving another woman. No ifs ands or buts about it. 

We can all agree that social media is of the Devil!! Lol 😆. Its so easy to cheat and communicate with other women.  So,  how to know when you’ve found a good man?  Thats an easy answer.  By his actions.  How does he treat you?  Be honest.  How does he make you feel?  What vibes do your family 👪 and friends get from him?  Does he make you feel protected?  When your in a situation where your  treated unfairly or disrespected,  does he immediately take your side and straighten it out ? Or does he remain quiet and say nothing at all.  In other words,  does he support you and have your back at all times even if it involves his family and friends? 

To Beautiful blended families

 In this day and age,  there is a strong possibility that you may find yourself in a situation where he may already have kids.  And don’t get me wrong,  theres absolutely nothing wrong with that.  My question  is how comfortable does he make you feel in that situation?  Does he make sure that the kids mother respect your role in his kids life?  Is he showing the utmost respect to you in  his co parenting relationship with his kids mother?   Does he allow you room to develop your own relationship with his kids or does he make you feel like your role is not as important in his kids life?  If you find yourself in this situation,  these questions are very important to know the answers to.   Having blended families these days are very common.  So being in a relationship or marriage can become resentful or dreadful if its not a mutual understanding between all partipating parties involved.   We hear horror stories about baby 👶 mama drama or baby 👶 daddy drama. The ex-wife or baby mama should never be allowed to feel she is more important than you. That can cause so many other disrespectful problems but   Thats another story in itself lol  but it all can be avoided if  it is  communicated and understood early on in your relationship.  

Also,  I must ask this question  because this may be the most important of them all..  And that question is how much do you love yourself?  I’ll tell you why I think this is the most important question.  Ive learned that men are very smart.  (Close your mouths ladies,  its true)   They pay attention to more than we as women realize.  Men may not always know what they want in a woman 👩 but I promise you,  they definitely know what they Do Not  want in a woman. A man pays attention to your actions more than you think.  They pay attention to how you carry yourself,  how you act in public, the clothes you wear, what kind of mother you are to your kids, how fast you allow them to meet your kids,  how often your in the streets, how fast you give up the vajayjay,  how good you  are with money, whether or not you can hold an intellectual conversation, whether or not he wants you to meet his mother and most of all,  they pay attention to how you as a woman ALLOW them to treat you and what you allow them to get away with.   They test you without you knowing it. They  will never tell you those things because men allow you to show them who you really are and from the information  that they receive from you ladies,  they’ll treat you accordingly. So loving and respecting yourself is just as important as knowing if you have a good man. Teach a man how to love and be the right man  to you by loving and being the right one  to yourself.    



Thank you for reading and would love to hear your comments below. Oh ! don’t forget to “like” and follow my blog 

Natural hair photoshoot


I’ve always wanted to do a natural hair photoshoot but  never  got around to doing it. As of lately, I have become fond of photography.  I like it because it allows me to be creative and fun.  I’ve also started wearing head wraps and makeup. In fact, I enjoy taking pictures so much, I decided to start doing photoshoots of natural hair women and men as a celebration of our natural beauty. I love to travel too so I figured I could combine the two and enjoy where it takes me.  Here are some of my pictures

Continue reading “Natural hair photoshoot”


#naturalhairjourney #naturalhair #hair #howto, #naturalhaircommunity #curls #naturalhairstyles #curlyhair #teamnatural #naturalhairdaily #blackgirlmagic #natural #naturallyshesdope #hairgrowth #healthyhair #melanin #naturalhaircare #protectivestyles #naturalhairdoescare #hairgoals #naturalista #naturalhairproducts #healthyhairjourney #type #afro #hairjourney #myhaircrush #haircare #coils #amazingnaturalhair #bhfyp

Always start with freshly cleansed hair. I use the Giovanni shampoo and conditioner line. I purchase my shampoo and Conditioner at Vitamin Shoppe. It’s very inexpensive and i enjoy the natural benefits of this hair care line.

Whenever I condition my hair with Giovanni deep conditioner, I prefer to use a plastic cap and sit under my hair steamer. You guys…. the hair steamer is liiiiife!!!  Our hair need so much moisture placed back in after shampooing. The hair steamer does just that to your hair. Sometimes, I steam my hair without any product in it as well.  I will probably do a video on the hair steamer and let you see the difference.  Usually, I’ll sit under the steamer for 20 minutes then I rinse my hair with cold water to close the cuticle layer of my hair ( less frizz).

After rinsing the conditioner out, I use a t-shirt to dry excess water from my tresses. The reason I use a t-shirt vs a towel is because using a towel create split ends and often help create frizz in the hair.  Then I Applied Giovanni direct leave-in conditioner in my hair. Always use a leave in conditioner for natural hair. Trust me, You hair will thank you for it. Pay extra attention to the ends of your hair which tend to be the driest section of our hair.  Oh! I use a paddle brush on my hair  to comb and detangle the conditioner through. Please start at the ends of your hair  first then work your up to the root. When your hair has been thoroughly detangled, its time to section your hair in 5 sections. You can section your hair in as many sections as you want, I just use 5.  Grab you some olive oil eco styler gel and apply it to each section and finger comb it through your strands. Remember a section at a time. Then the very last step is to roll  your hair in a spiral pattern with your perm rods of choice. I personally like the gray colored rods.  It also depend on how big or small of a curl you would like to achieve.

Picture the way you want your hair to fall into the style your trying to achieve. In other words, rod your hair the way you would like your hair to fall when you remove your rods.

I allowed my hair to air dry. Once my hair was dry, I mist it with a little water in a spray bottle and booom!!!

When God speaks,  do you listen?  What is he saying to you?


#spirituality #love #meditation #spiritual #god #peace #wisdom #life #faith #soul #art #enlightenment #yoga #consciousness #inspiration #zen #nature #healing #mindfulness #quotes #awakening #religion #motivation #believe #spiritualawakening #goodvibes #energy #instagood #compassion #bhfyp

God speaks to us in many ways. One of those ways is through our mess aka Trials and tribulations. For instance, I use to struggle with trust in my marriage. It was the hardest thing for me because of what I had been through. I use to pray to god to change my husband, change the situation just change something. lol But something happend that I wasnt expecting. Instead of god changing my husband’s behavior, he switched it back to me. He asked me to look at my own behavior. I was like… Me??? As you can imagine, I was looking around the room like he has to be talking about someone else. Why should I look at myself? I havent done anything wrong. See, god loved me so much that he took the time to chastize me like a father does a child. Like he was saying, well yes I see what he did but can you look at this situation at a different angle and ask yourself was there anything that you could have done differently in this situation? (god) Do you make it easy to talk to you about things? (me) I guess, I dont. (god) Do you spend more time telling him what hes doing wrong than what he’s doing right? (me) yes. (god) are you just waiting for him to mess up so you can punish him for it? (me) yes. (god) are you very impatient with him? (me) yes (god) Do you get angry and unforgiven when he lies to you? ( Me: Now we are getting somewhere…Yes Yes I do. I hate liars!! (God)Have I been angry and unforgiven with you when you lie to me?(me) no ( with water filling my eyes) (god) well then, Is his sin any worst than your sin? after all sin is sin to me. It doesnt matter what kind it is. There is not a level scale when it comes to sin. Whether you steal or murder, its all on the same level to me. But my unconditonal love for you will forgive you for any sin. And that right there has opened my eyes to life. I realized that I am not a victim. I realize that I wasnt as perfect of a wife as I thought I was and I realized that I didnt love my husband unconditionally. I loved him but not his flaws. God loves me with my flaws. Sometimes the problems in your marriage or relationships with people is not always them. It actually could be you too. We can not change other people only ourselves. Lets take our mind off ourselves and put it on god. He will direct you the rest of the way.

My baggage


 #spirituality #love #meditation #spiritual #god #peace #wisdom #life #faith #soul #art #enlightenment #yoga #consciousness #inspiration #zen #nature #healing #mindfulness #quotes #awakening #religion #motivation #believe #spiritualawakening #goodvibes #energy #instagood #compassion #bhfyp #baggage, #growth, #personal, #truth

This was really hard for me to publish because this was something that i chose to keep inside but maybe my unfiltered truth can be someone elses break through. So i share with you unselfishly. Here goes……………………………. I didn’t eat too healthy today. Had honeycomb cereal for  breakfast,  watermelon for a snack ,  2 hot dogs and 1 bottle of water and Chex mix for snack. I have been feeling frustrated with myself and everything surrounding it. Marriage could be better, 2 kids leaving for the military soon, 37 without a real career going for myself making 500 a month,  and everybody looks to me to fix there problems. Sometimes I can handle it and other times, it’s just too much to handle.  Like I’m being pushed into a corner wall.  It’s hard for me to stick with one thing. I never finish what I start. I complain all the time and I trust no one. I’m very critical of others but I am offended when I’m criticized.  I don’t feel worthy a lot of times. I am the happiest when I’m with my kids. I like doing hair, I like giving advice, I like helping people with my money secretly, I love respectful kids, I’m excellent with money management,  I am detail oriented,  very organized, I love to be around positivity all the time, negativity puts me in a bad frame of mind, I love to laugh and make people laugh,  I strive for harmony, I hate liars even though I lie to myself, I don’t say what I really feel inside, I hide my feelings from others,  I worry what others think of me, I always want people to like and be pleased with me, I either don’t have any friends or I’m just not a good one, I’m a nagging person,  I love hard, I forgive fairly easy, I believe that Jesus died for me, I have been born again, I have accept Christ as my lord and savior, I love writing and putting my feelings down on paper, I love to see people do well in life whether they like me or not,  I’m a people’s person most of the time, I crave knowledge and wisdom, I love to show love and affection to the mistreated and homeless, I have a quick temper and a attitude problem, I can be one of the sweetest people you’ll ever meet, I get lazy when I’m bored, It’s hard for me to sit down and relax most of the time, I almost always see the glass half empty instead of half full, I don’t take well to rejection,  I’m too prideful to ask for help but I take pride in people in need of help,  I lose motivation really fast, I haven’t really healed from my past ( just kinda tuck it in my pockets), it’s hard for me to get over stuff, I loved my father but i never liked him (he was very  abusive to my mother), I believe I’m mixed but have no real  proof which angers me sometimes, I don’t have a genuine relationship with my only sister( I don’t think she ever got over the fact that I was born), I allow my fears to stop me from doing things I want to experience,  I ignore people’s phone calls when I don’t want to be bothered and I don’t know what my real passion or purpose is….. wheeeeew! !! Never did this before. I guess you can lie to everybody else but you can’t lie to yourself. Laying it all out.. God , can you handle all of this? This is what I’ve been holding onto for years. This is my baggage. 

Fight for your marriage!


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#spirituality #love #meditation #spiritual #god #peace #wisdom #life #faith #soul #art #enlightenment #yoga #consciousness #inspiration #zen #nature #healing #mindfulness #quotes #awakening #religion #motivation #believe #spiritualawakening #goodvibes #energy #instagood #compassion #bhfyp #marriage, #counseling, #relationships, #help, #relationshipgoals

I want to talk about a subject that everyone is so excited about in the beginning then once they do it, they realize it’s not all peaches and cream.. … yeah, you guessed it
MARRIAGE.
I was married in 2005 and divorced in 2008 due to infidelity. Then I married my best friend in 2012. Let me first say that marriage can be such a beautiful experience in life. But it’s also very challenging. What makes it so challenging? ( I just read your mind) well, when you marry someone, you become “as one”. All there issues become y’all issues. If you do something, go out somewhere, buy something, communicate thru text, email, skype etc, the other spouse should be on the same accord of agreement with it. If they are NOT or they don’t know about it, then it’s wrong in a marriage. When we make a decision to do something, we know if it’s right or not. We know if our other half would be pleased or not. And hey! If you are someone who doesn’t think like that then before you do it… ask yourself, would this piss my honey off if they found out? When you start making decisions that you hope the other person won’t find out about is when you move your marriage into a dangerous territory called division or separation. When there is a situation or subject that divides or separates a couple then you are not on the page ” as one”. I hope that make sense. Almost everything that one spouse does will have a effect on the other spouse. If one spouse does not pay a light bill on time and nothing is communicated, it will affect both of you because you both will be in the dark. THAT SMALL situation created division between the marriage because of no communication. That!! Ladies and gentlemen is a small crack of opportunity for the devil to work his magic in to your beautiful union. That’s all he need. An opportunity. He’s saying yes!!! I thought I would never get a chance to tear this marriage up. I couldn’t get them to be mad and breakup before cause every time you see them, there either praying together, praying for each other, keeping each other informed, laughing, having bible study with each other or having the best sex ever. Lol ( rubbing his hands together) the husband let the lights get cut off so I know she’s gonna be mad. Let me see how much damage I can do to this other wise beautiful marriage. That’s how the devil thinks about your marriage. He seeks to steal ( your marriage) kill ( your marriage) and destroy ( your marriage). So it’s up to you how you respond to the upsets in your marriage. Respond wrong ( you will give the devil a window of opportunity) respond right ( the devil lost his opportunity). Husbands, put god and wife first. Wives, put god and your husband first. Some of us have allowed the devil to screw our marriage up for so long that we don’t know where to start. That’s ok. God does… start with him. Just remember in a marriage that every one of us has weaknesses. No one is perfect so remove that expectation from your spirit. You have faults just like they do. When it seems like it hurts to think about making your marriage work because of the hurt and pain that you’ve endured. I understand that feeling all so good but pray for your spouse and ask God to restore you from the inside out and make you two whole again. Find you a prayer and fast on it every day and every night. Kiss your mate when you really feel like slapping the hell out of them. Love them hard even when you ” feel” they don’t deserve it. Your not doing it for them, your doing it as a sacrifice to god. Die to yourself. Fight for your marriage spiritually. If you really want it and watch god work.

 Why are you trying to please everyone? 


#spirituality #love #meditation #spiritual #god #peace #wisdom #life #faith #soul #art #enlightenment #yoga #consciousness #inspiration #zen #nature #healing #mindfulness #quotes #awakening #religion #motivation #believe #spiritualawakening #goodvibes #energy #instagood #compassion #bhfyp #stop, #codendency

Lately, I’ve been running into so many people who have a down fall of constantly trying to please other people.  I know many of you reading this can relate. Rather it’s you parents, boyfriend,  wife, children, boss, friends etc.  How many times have you said, I want to go here or wear this outfit but I know (fill in the blank) won’t like it?  So, you end up not doing what you want,  just so someone else is pleased.  Being a people pleaser makes you miserable. I must confess that I had it bad. I put my own feelings aside for people that mattered and it was so bad that I was trying to please people that I knew didn’t like me. How crazy is that? And let’s not talk about relationships. .. Omg, I use to bend over backwards for whoever I was dating to prove myself worthy to him. I liked wearing lipstick but if I knew they didn’t like it, I wouldn’t wear it. Or what about this all familar scenerio.

me: I want to go eat at McDonald’s.

Boyfriend: I like Burger King better. ( even though I hate Burger king)

me: oh ok, I’m sure I can find something there.

Meanwhile, I’m sitting at the restaurant miserable because I’m not happy with my choice but My hardest obstacle in life was my own mother.( believe it or not) My mom always used these manipulating tactics with me growing up. For instance, I always wanted to go to the airforce. So, after high school, I took the Asvab test to go to the Airfoce. That was around the same time my father passed away. So when my mom found out my plans, she started saying to me how if I left, she wouldn’t have anyone else here and how anything could happen to her. So instead of going through with my plans, I allowed her to manipulate me into staying and I never left.  I’m still here in the same city (One decision I will always regret). When she saw that worked, she started using it to pick my friends. After I was married, I told her that  my new husband and I ate thinking of moving 1 hour away to start our lives and what did she do?  She starting tell me how she’s getting old and if she dies,  she wanted me to have the house. I’m like, ok this is getting ridiculous. On her part and mine because I was  allowing her to do it. To make a long story short. We are still moving and I am determined to live my life for me. My advice to you all is to realize your worth and start living like your worthy. Stop living to please others cause you’ll never satisfy them. Satisfying yourself is much more rewarding even though it’s hard to do at first. It’s worth it in the end.

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