I’m going to share with you all a personal moment in my life, when I didnt feel so pretty or good enough body wise. Being on social media and comparing myself to the people I saw on there. It was hard not seeing ppl on there that looked like myself.  I became self conscious and it showed in my personality towards others. It was after I had my 2nd son. My weight refuse to go down.  I didnt know how to deal with it or what to do to fix it. I had only one idea …..starve myself.  Yes, I know some of you personal trainers out there probably cringed when you read that but hey I didnt know any better at the time and I really had no one to teach me differently.  Starving myself seemed like it was working until my hair started falling out. Oh and I started getting a fever. And don’t get me started on the constant constipation, no energy and I even developed acid.  reflux. On top of all of that yall, I ended up gaining more weight. I couldn’t understand what I was doing wrong.  No eating = skinny …..right?     WRONG !!!!!!


My body was refusing to let go of the food I was eating because it didn’t know when it would get its next meal. Starving myself was having the opposite effect on my body. WTH !!!!???

After a couple of years of this, I realized that I wasn’t helping myself but hurting myself.  It wasn’t until I almost put myself into the hospital that I realized that the root of my problems was that I didn’t have any self love..  omg, I didn’t love myself. I didnt need to work on my weight, I needed to work on loving myself. Wow!! That hit me like a ton of bricks. So I shifted my thoughts from being over weight to how do I start loving myself. Which in return helped me to lose weight in the process. I started by researching ways to love yourself.

1st, was accept yourself just as you are, even if your not where you want to be. Now I must be honest, I knew this was going to be a hard one for me.

2nd, I had to stop comparing myself to others. So while I was going through this process, I took a break from social media for awhile.

3rd, I started walking. I used this time to give myself compliments the whole entire walk.  Yep, sure did.

4th, I started carrying a gallon of water with me everywhwere i went.   Omg water was soooo nasty to me at first but I saw how much water weight I was getting rid of so it started encouraging me to drink more of it.

5th, I stayed off of the scale. The break up was real. Sorry scale but we need to take break from each other for awhile.

6th, I started eating 5 small meals a day. High protein low carb meals.

After awhile of this, I could feel a change in my body and the way that I was feeling about myself.

I begin to realize that there was nothing wrong with my body. It was my mind that needed a diet.  I also started to realize that I wasn’t the only one going through this body shame thing. Both men and women feel this way. After more research I realized young girls and boys are experiencing this shame at an early age at an alarming rate. 

I knew I had to do something to help people  overcome this feeling of self hate but how?

I didnt have the answer back then but when I started photography, I kept running into the same problem with my clients being afraid to do photoshoots because of their ” love handles, stretch marks, big butts,  face, or because of their weigh gain as a whole.  Thats when the light bulb  went off.  I noticed how beautiful and confident they felt after doing a boudoir shoot or something a little sexy.  I enjoyed seeing the self love they found by looking at themselves in a way that they never did before.   I decided that boudoir was a way for me to help, teach and give back all at the same time. 

We are all beautiful. Everyone is not suppose to be skinny.  Some of us are suppose to be voluptuous queens And teddy bear kings. Who doesn’t still love their favorite teddy bear?  Stop being hard on yourselves and show more love and admiration.  C’mon look at yourself in the mirror, blow a kiss at yourself and own that shit….


I finally got my nose pierced and I’m glad I did it. Before you look at this video, just know that I was afraid lolol. I do not like anything that resembles a needle. It might as well have been a sword going through my nose. Lol. I honestly think I reverted back to a 3rd grader while getting this piercing. But enough of that. You’ll get the picture when you watch the video


So, I went to get my nose pierced. I was so excited. Actually my husband treated me to a nose piercing on one of our monthly dates. So after getting the piercing things were looking pretty good. My nose was a little sore but that was pretty much it. Sleeping with a nose piercing proved different for me. It seemed like every time I turned around, I was hitting my nose with my arm or hand. What are the odds of this happening? Well a few days of this first fight with my nose, I started to notice a bump near my piercing. It started getting bigger and bigger. I couldnt take it anymore so I started looking at videos on how to get rid of this ugly bump. I tried the sea salt and hot water, peroxide and I even used ear piercing solution. Nothing worked !!! Oneday I decided to try alcohol on a cotton q-tip and what do you know……..it felt like a miracle. I started to see the bump disappear extremely fast. Within 2days, it was gone. Here’s the how to video https://youtu.be/SAIIU7F5AMQ


We all know the normal benefits of taking a hot and cold shower right?

If not, here are some.

Cold shower –

Prevent colds, tightens the skin, reduces stress, stimulates the immune system, help with weight loss, and closes pores as well as other benefits.

Hot shower-

Helps with stress, headaches, relaxes muscles, relieve nasal congestion, help you sleep and open pores.

I must admit. All of these benefits are good to know. But there is one surprising benefit of taking a hot and cold shower (Especially cold) that I can bet you didnt know it is also great for…………

Spirtual Grounding!!!!!!

Yeeeessss, honteee!! The same spirtual grounding as this

Go figure…..was I the only one that was out of the loop?

If you want to know more about ground or earthing, I’ll meet you at my next blog post titled “what is grounding and why you need it”

Natural hair photoshoot


I’ve always wanted to do a natural hair photoshoot but  never  got around to doing it. As of lately, I have become fond of photography.  I like it because it allows me to be creative and fun.  I’ve also started wearing head wraps and makeup. In fact, I enjoy taking pictures so much, I decided to start doing photoshoots of natural hair women and men as a celebration of our natural beauty. I love to travel too so I figured I could combine the two and enjoy where it takes me.  Here are some of my pictures

Continue reading “Natural hair photoshoot”

Protective styles -mini twists


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This is a mini rope twist style. It’s takes about 4 to 5 hours to do. This will be my protective style of choice for a month. I started by cleansing and conditioning my hair, Then I Combed It Out And Sectioned It In 4 Pony tails And Let It Air dry. The only product I used to twist my hair was Murray’s gel lot – lock for natural hair. 1391280628148

 

Let me know if you have any questions or if you need a how to link that I need to post.

Thanks for blessing my page, naturalhairworldconfessions

 

 Why are you trying to please everyone? 


#spirituality #love #meditation #spiritual #god #peace #wisdom #life #faith #soul #art #enlightenment #yoga #consciousness #inspiration #zen #nature #healing #mindfulness #quotes #awakening #religion #motivation #believe #spiritualawakening #goodvibes #energy #instagood #compassion #bhfyp #stop, #codendency

Lately, I’ve been running into so many people who have a down fall of constantly trying to please other people.  I know many of you reading this can relate. Rather it’s you parents, boyfriend,  wife, children, boss, friends etc.  How many times have you said, I want to go here or wear this outfit but I know (fill in the blank) won’t like it?  So, you end up not doing what you want,  just so someone else is pleased.  Being a people pleaser makes you miserable. I must confess that I had it bad. I put my own feelings aside for people that mattered and it was so bad that I was trying to please people that I knew didn’t like me. How crazy is that? And let’s not talk about relationships. .. Omg, I use to bend over backwards for whoever I was dating to prove myself worthy to him. I liked wearing lipstick but if I knew they didn’t like it, I wouldn’t wear it. Or what about this all familar scenerio.

me: I want to go eat at McDonald’s.

Boyfriend: I like Burger King better. ( even though I hate Burger king)

me: oh ok, I’m sure I can find something there.

Meanwhile, I’m sitting at the restaurant miserable because I’m not happy with my choice but My hardest obstacle in life was my own mother.( believe it or not) My mom always used these manipulating tactics with me growing up. For instance, I always wanted to go to the airforce. So, after high school, I took the Asvab test to go to the Airfoce. That was around the same time my father passed away. So when my mom found out my plans, she started saying to me how if I left, she wouldn’t have anyone else here and how anything could happen to her. So instead of going through with my plans, I allowed her to manipulate me into staying and I never left.  I’m still here in the same city (One decision I will always regret). When she saw that worked, she started using it to pick my friends. After I was married, I told her that  my new husband and I ate thinking of moving 1 hour away to start our lives and what did she do?  She starting tell me how she’s getting old and if she dies,  she wanted me to have the house. I’m like, ok this is getting ridiculous. On her part and mine because I was  allowing her to do it. To make a long story short. We are still moving and I am determined to live my life for me. My advice to you all is to realize your worth and start living like your worthy. Stop living to please others cause you’ll never satisfy them. Satisfying yourself is much more rewarding even though it’s hard to do at first. It’s worth it in the end.

SEX…. Is it more of a chore or enjoyment?


This is another open forum for the ladies and gentlemen…

Question: Is sex more of a chore in a marriage/relationship or enjoyment?

I know some people can relate to  both sides. You hear about people being in relationship for a couple of years and lose the sexual enjoyment. Instead it become more of a chore. Something you do out of an obligation. If you didn’t have to do it you wouldn’t.

Quick scenario: chick gets ready for bed in a head scarf, sweat pants, big t-shirt with one sock on and the other one off. Boyfriend/ husband/fiancé, scratching his butt real hard, farts, look at his chic like she did it then yanks his boxers out of his crack just before getting under the covers. The chic has all kind of names going through her head that she wants to call him but instead both of them turn their backs to each other until……… he turns around and press it against her butt and then she has 2 seconds to come up with a good fake snore, get a fast head ache or take a deep breath and give in hoping it will be over soon.

My question is where does things go wrong? and why?  There are no right or wrong opinions.  I

I feel that sex is very important in  a relationship.  It’s where 2 people get a chance to connect on a spiritual level with their soul mate. It relieves stress, it makes your bond closer. It’s enjoyment for me… what about you?

Trichotillosis- 50 ways to stop pulling your hair


50 Ways to Stop Pulling Your Hair

Originally published on the TLCTRICHSUPPORT email group.

As many  of you know I am over 9 weeks pull free. I started to come up with a list of  ideas on how to stop pulling your hair for a article im writing. I am going to  list them below.

50 ways to stop pulling your hair
*   = I have tried these methods.       ** = These tips have helped me the most.

  • Wear a bandana to bed. *
  • Make a sticker chart. Everyday that you go without pulling add a  sticker. Hang this sticker chart in a room where you pull the most.**
  • Reward yourself after several days (or hours) of being pull free.*
  • Be patient with yourself.*
  • Join a support group.*
  • Talk to another person with Trichotillomania.*
  • Wet down your hair. This will make it really hard to pull out your  hair since it will be slippery.*
  • Learn what your body needs instead of pulling. Is your body tired,  hungry, sleepy, excited, etc? Then tell yourself out loud what you need   and go do it.**
  • Get a membership with TLC
  • Stimulate your senses. Many of us that pull like the sensation  that comes with it. Instead of pulling do other things to stimulate these such  as washing your hair, brushing your lips on dental floss or string (if you rub  the hair on your lips), and massaging your scalp.*
  • Avoid caffeine right before bed. Often bed time is a time when a  lot of people pull. By using caffeine you keep yourself up longer and it  heightens anxiety.*
  • Buy a fidget toy.*
  • Find other things to do with your hands such as knitting,  crocheting, or cross stitch. *
  • Wear a hoodie to bed as a barrier to pulling. *
  • Go see a psychologist that performs cognitive behavioral therapy
  • Try hypnotherapy *
  • Make small reasonable goals. Such as I will not pull for the next  three hours. Then keep increasing your time.
  • Look at your hair in the mirror everyday with your hands behind  your back. Stare into the mirror until the anxiety to pull has lessened. This  is called exposure therapy and it does work!  **
  • Look in the mirror every day to see how much its grown. Be proud  of your hard work. **
  • Brush your hair instead of pulling*
  • Have a positive attitude**
  • If you pull some hair do not beat yourself up about it, just try  again.
  • Use the saying “every hair belongs on my head” and  repeat this over and over until the urge to pull ceases.*
  • Make yourself busy, too much down time can be dangerous.*
  • Help others, which in turn will help you.**
  • Read everything you can on the internet about trichotillomania and  the treatment plans to deal with it.*
  • Watch shows and documentaries about trichotillomania to learn new  techniques.*
  • Wear perfume on your hands so that you will realize when your hand  is going up to pull out your hair.
  • Name the hairs you want to pull out. It sounds silly but for some  it works.
  • Spend less time in the areas of your house that you pull in.*
  • Keep a journal of your feelings.*
  • Find a hair that is laying around your house and stare at it  daily. For many people the sight of hair can trigger hair pulling. By staring  at a piece of hair everyday you are exposing yourself to the anxiety that  follows. This will eventually cause the anxiety to lessen.*
  • Also read textbooks about the anatomy of hair. This does the same  thing as #32
  • Play with silly putty *
  • Take a long bath to ease the anxiety.**
  • Wear a wig the entire day, until you go to bed. Then put on a  bandana. ( Only use this the first two weeks or so, then trust yourself enough  to take it off)*
  • Take good care of your hair. Appreciating the hair you have will  provide you with the courage you need to grow more. This means you should brush  your hair daily, wash it at least once a day if possible, and respect that it  belongs on your head.*
  • Put your tweezers in a cabinet until you need them for grooming,  not Trichotillomania. If you use tweezers a lot you may need to throw them out  and only buy new ones when you have your Trichotillomania under control.*
  • Imagine your life without Trichotillomania and with hair.**
  • Place lotion or gel on your hands so it’s hard to grasp the hair  you want to pull.
  • Place notes that say “NO” or inspirational sayings about  stopping hair pulling in places where you normally pull.
  • Wear a rubber band around your wrist to snap every time you want  to pull.
  • Wear a bead bracelet to fidget  with.
  • Lift weights. Your arms will be too tired to want to pull.
  • Pet an animal. Sometimes just running your hands through a pet’s  fur can stimulate the same sensation that you need in order to ease anxiety.*
  • Meditate.
  • Take pictures of your bald spots and post them where you usually  pull. When seeing these pictures you will not want to pull since bald spots are  frightening.
  • Tell your friends and family to tell you to stop if they see you  pulling. *
  • Spread the word about Trichotillomania. Sometimes telling other  people about our condition helps us  want  to change it. *
  • Last but not least learn to love yourself. Only then  can you start to heal. **

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