Tag Archive | frequently asked questions

Fight for your marriage!


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I want to talk about a subject that everyone is so excited about in the beginning then once they do it, they realize it’s not all peaches and cream.. … yeah, you guessed it
MARRIAGE.
I was married in 2005 and divorced in 2008 due to infidelity. Then I married my best friend in 2012. Let me first say that marriage can be such a beautiful experience in life. But it’s also very challenging. What makes it so challenging? ( I just read your mind) well, when you marry someone, you become “as one”. All there issues become y’all issues. If you do something, go out somewhere, buy something, communicate thru text, email, skype etc, the other spouse should be on the same accord of agreement with it. If they are NOT or they don’t know about it, then it’s wrong in a marriage. When we make a decision to do something, we know if it’s right or not. We know if our other half would be pleased or not. And hey! If you are someone who doesn’t think like that then before you do it… ask yourself, would this piss my honey off if they found out? When you start making decisions that you hope the other person won’t find out about is when you move your marriage into a dangerous territory called division or separation. When there is a situation or subject that divides or separates a couple then you are not on the page ” as one”. I hope that make sense. Almost everything that one spouse does will have a effect on the other spouse. If one spouse does not pay a light bill on time and nothing is communicated, it will affect both of you because you both will be in the dark. THAT SMALL situation created division between the marriage because of no communication. That!! Ladies and gentlemen is a small crack of opportunity for the devil to work his magic in to your beautiful union. That’s all he need. An opportunity. He’s saying yes!!! I thought I would never get a chance to tear this marriage up. I couldn’t get them to be mad and breakup before cause every time you see them, there either praying together, praying for each other, keeping each other informed, laughing, having bible study with each other or having the best sex ever. Lol ( rubbing his hands together) the husband let the lights get cut off so I know she’s gonna be mad. Let me see how much damage I can do to this other wise beautiful marriage. That’s how the devil thinks about your marriage. He seeks to steal ( your marriage) kill ( your marriage) and destroy ( your marriage). So it’s up to you how you respond to the upsets in your marriage. Respond wrong ( you will give the devil a window of opportunity) respond right ( the devil lost his opportunity). Husbands, put god and wife first. Wives, put god and your husband first. Some of us have allowed the devil to screw our marriage up for so long that we don’t know where to start. That’s ok. God does… start with him. Just remember in a marriage that every one of us has weaknesses. No one is perfect so remove that expectation from your spirit. You have faults just like they do. When it seems like it hurts to think about making your marriage work because of the hurt and pain that you’ve endured. I understand that feeling all so good but pray for your spouse and ask God to restore you from the inside out and make you two whole again. Find you a prayer and fast on it every day and every night. Kiss your mate when you really feel like slapping the hell out of them. Love them hard even when you ” feel” they don’t deserve it. Your not doing it for them, your doing it as a sacrifice to god. Die to yourself. Fight for your marriage spiritually. If you really want it and watch god work.

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Natural by choice or popularity?


DId you become natural because you felt like it was the best healthy choice or because its popular and everyone’s doing it now?

How would you describe your style and what is your goal length?

I made the decision to go natural for both reasons equally.

My style is pretty broad and hard to explain. I dress according to how I’m feeling. If that makes sense. I love the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s era. I enjoy different cultures and nationalities and sometimes I take bits and pieces from them all to make my own style. I love high heels but I can not walk in them. I like to dress my natural up with flowers, ribbons, hats, scarves etc. My goal length is waist length. My hair has never past bra strap length so I’m excited to reach my goal with all of you.

Tell me about yours….

..20130917_200029 (1)<<<<<<This is my hair length now<<<<<<<<

Image<<<<<<<<<This is my goal length<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Trichotillosis: A compulsive hair pulling disorder


Trichotillomania is hair loss from repeated urges to pull or twist the hair until it breaks off. Patients are unable to stop this behavior, even as their hair becomes thinner.
Causes, incidence, and risk factors
Trichotillomania is a type of impulsive control disorder. Its causes are not clearly understood.
It may affect as much as 4% of the population. Women are four times more likely to be affected than men.
Symptoms
Symptoms usually begin before age 17. The hair may come out in round patches or across the scalp. The effect is an uneven appearance. The person may pluck other hairy areas, such as the eyebrows, eyelashes, or body hair.
These symptoms are usually seen in children:
An uneven appearance to the hair
Bare patches or all around (diffuse) loss of hair
Bowel blockage (obstruction) if people eat the hair they pull out
Constant tugging, pulling, or twisting of hair
Denying the hair pulling
Hair regrowth that feels like stubble in the bare spots
Increasing sense of tension before the hair pulling
Other self-injury behaviors
Sense of relief, pleasure, or gratification after the hair pulling
Most people with this disorder also have problems with:
Feeling sad or depressed
Anxiety
Poor self image
Signs and tests
Your health care provider will examine your skin, hair, and scalp. A piece of tissue may be removed (biopsy) to find other causes, such as a scalp infection, and to explain the hair loss.
Treatment
Experts don’t agree on the use of medication for treatment. However, naltrexone and selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) have been shown effective in reducing some symptoms. Behavioral therapy and habit reversal may also be effective.
Expectations (prognosis)
Trichotillomania that begins in younger children (less than 6 years old) may go away without treatment. For most people, the hair pulling ends within 12 months.
For others, trichotillomania is a lifelong disorder. However, treatment often improves the hair pulling and the feelings of depression, anxiety, or poor self image.
Complications
People can have complications when they eat the pulled-out hair (trichophagia). This can cause a blockage in the intestines or lead to poor nutrition.
Prevention
Early detection is the best form of prevention because it leads to early treatment. Decreasing stress can help, because stress may increase compulsive behavior.

I need help!!!!


Ok so, although I have a license as a master cosmetologist and am great at making the natural hair grow healthy and long, there’s still some things that i need help on such as Sew- ins and etc. I live in the Atlanta ga area. I have been searching events to take classes on my weak areas and have reached out to some of my hairstylist “friends” to show me what I may or may not be doing wrong. And no one has been willing to help. Mind you I’m not asking for free. I’m a hands on kinda learner. I know the basics of sew-ins and what I need to learn might take that person a good 20 mins. It’s so sad to me how some stylists are so scared that if they somehow become a blessing to someone by teaching a little bit of what they know, that person will try to take their business or skills. Each stylist has their own artistic touch. No one can do it like you do. So why not be willing to help someone else along like someone took the time to help you. Until then………. My search continues.

Frequently asked questions about my natural hair.


1.Question: I am natural, I wear protective styles all the time but my hair is too frizzy. What do you suggest?

Answer: Wearing your hair in protective styles is an excellent idea but while it’s in those protective styles make sure that you are going the extra mile by sleeping on satin pillow cases, tying your hair up with a silk or satin scarf at night. These two things will be very helpful with fighting the frizz using a usual cotton scarf and pillow cases. This is equally as important if you are not currently wearing protective styles. Last but not least STEAM TREATMENTS are the bomb with both relaxed hair and natural hair but especially for natural hair.

2.Question:  What products have you used?

Answer: I really don’t use many store-bought products on my hair anymore. I started making my own natural  hair products. When I first started out, I was a product JUNKIE to the 100th power. For instance, when I first did my big chop, eco styler gel was my HOMIE. LOL seriously. It helped my hair grow as well. The leave in conditioner I used was kinky curly’s “knot today” , for shampoo I used a another conditioner called “Herbal essence hello hydration conditioner” as a co-wash. Now, I use eggs, mayo, vinegar, olive oil from the grocery store, lavender, tea tree oil from the natural health food store mixed with water in a spray bottle right before my steam treatments.

3. Question: How do you make your edges lay down?

Answer: Eco styler gel is my ” HOME SKILLET” forever!!!! ( the olive oil one)

4. Question: Did it take a long time to get your first puff after doing the big chop?

Answer: MMMMnnnn, well, let me just say that if you have a big chop and are dying to finally reach” PUFF STATUS” it can seem like forever in a day but looking back, My answer is NO it did not take very long. I massaged my scalp alot in my big chop stage for growth stimulation along with loving the stage I was in on my journey.

5.Question: How often do you straighten your hair?

Answer: I straighten my hair every 6 months to check my length and trim my ends.

6. Question: How often do you trim the ends of your hair?

Answer: Every 6 months. I dont feel a need to do it more than that unless you are transitioning then you would want to trim every 2 months or so.

7.Question: Why is my hair so dry?

Answer:  You could have dry hair for a number of reasons.. How healthy your hair is always starts from the inside. You have to eat healthy and drink a lot of water, take your vitamins and make sure you get some Omega-3, do not over shampoo your hair, co wash instead. Use steam treatments, condition, condition, condition. Do not use products which contain alcohol in them, sleep on satin pillow cases.

8.Question: Why does my hair have different curl patterns on one head?

Answer: For me, my relaxer changed the curl pattern of my hair after going natural.  My hair went from being knotty to curly in some areas of my head. For instance, the back is extremely curly with just the right spring back , the top has loose curls that will not hold much and my sides have very tight coily curls. So, believe me I know how you feel. It’s not just you, everyone has different textures of hair on their head or different curl patterns.

Let me know if you have any other questions and I”ll try my best to answer them promptly………