Do you #love yourself? Like really love yourself? If your answer is yes. Let me stop in my tracks and say #congratulations. Its such a beautiful inner feeling. Many people unfortunately never experience that feeling. I realize that now more than ever. Shit, I use to be that person who didn’t love myself as strongly as I should . For some, it began as a child.. With other’s it happend through life’s experiences. Some of us,both male and female are not taught how to love ourselves by our parents or in school. We had to learn these lessons on our own #life #journey. This is the reason why I love doing photography. #Photography is a great self esteem booster. In my line of work, I meet alot of people who are dealing with self image issues, low self esteem, and body shame just to name a few. I like to capture the parts of you that you love about yourself. Both men and women have the same issues about themselves. Some clients like only their eyes. So I capture their eyes in a photograph that they love. Building self esteem has to start somewhere. My hope is to build off the parts of themselves that they love and work our way up to full self love. Seeing yourself in a beautiful light does wonders for a person. I always say, everyone has a story. I just want to be the one who is blessed to share it through my photography.

I am based out of #Columbus #Georgia. I would love to start traveling doing #selfesteem building and #boudoir photoshoots . If your ever in need of a #photoshoot feel free to contact me http://www.tonyadeshawnphotography.com FB: Tonya deshawn IG: TonyaDeshawn

Here’s my latest photoshoot……enjoy😉

Natural hair photoshoot


I’ve always wanted to do a natural hair photoshoot but  never  got around to doing it. As of lately, I have become fond of photography.  I like it because it allows me to be creative and fun.  I’ve also started wearing head wraps and makeup. In fact, I enjoy taking pictures so much, I decided to start doing photoshoots of natural hair women and men as a celebration of our natural beauty. I love to travel too so I figured I could combine the two and enjoy where it takes me.  Here are some of my pictures

Continue reading “Natural hair photoshoot”

How married are you?


#relationshiprepair #personaldevelopment #relationships #love  #successquote #listening #communication #marriagematters #marriage #couplesgoals #couplestherapy #lifecoach #selfdevelopment #counseling #counselling  #sayyes

Last night my husband and I were reading a book called the 7 rings of marriage. Which is an awesome book if I must say. Anyways, we got on a particular part in the book that asked the question… will you say yes AND say no? Yea that was kind of confusing to me too. So my husband read on……. it went to explain. By saying “NO” it means that you and your spouse will decide to say no to divorce all together no matter what becomes of your marriage. Remaining true to your agreement with god. Anytime it gets bad in your marriage, the answer will always remain “NO” to divorce. It said you can already be happy or miserable as hell in the marriage but divorce will not be an option. Then it asked us a question that had me stuck in the middle of the street like a deer staring at a tracker trailers head lights. It said before moving on to the next chapter in this book, will you take the stand and vow, no to divorce and yes to your marriage as a ministry?……………….wheeeeew!!!!!! Just like that my husband answered yes I do!!!!! And he was sitting there waiting for me to answer but I was stuck. Really stuck!! Now don’t get me wrong, I love the shit out of my husband. I really do. But I’m like I remember times when I’ve gone to see a lawyer for divorce before because I felt like it was the last straw. I couldn’t take it anymore, I felt like I was going to lose my mind if I didn’t get a divorce. Yet this book and my husband is asking me to take my possibility of divorce away from me?. So, instead of answering my husband question, I begin asking him questions like, so babe, you are willing to stay with me no matter what!!!! I do to you in our marriage? Again he immediately said yes!!! So I took it up a notch and asked well what if I did the absolute worst to you aka cheated or something? Again yes!!!! So I asked how? He said because I know that you won’t do anything to hurt me. You’ve never given me a reason to feel that way so I feel positive. I’m thinking to myself, so I’ve made it easy for him to love me and trust me unconditionally. He has never been faced with the possibility with going through a divorce before. He’s never cried himself to sleep of pain and disappointment. He’s never been given the experience of……well you get what im saying. So quite naturally, it was that easy for him to answer because he’s only felt love, trust, support and loyalty in our marriage. But for me, it was hard. I felt paralyzed just from the thought of having no way out if I needed it. So the next morning when I got up, that question was heavily on my mind. I went outside with our doggie envy to let her use the bathroom and while I was waiting, I ask God a question. I said lord why is it so important for me to have a way out of my marriage? No answer. Then I asked again. Lord, why am I so afraid of commitment? Then I heard the record scratch like on tv when something happens. Wait a minute!!!! Whaaaat!!!! No no no that was not my question lord where did that come from? Afraid of commitment? No I’m not!! How am I afraid of commitment? I enjoy being married. I have never cheated on my husband. I’m not going anywhere!!!!……..unless…. (then I paused) then continued talking. Unless things are getting to hard for me or I feel like I don’t want to do it anymore. Wooow!!! Really god!!??? Are you really telling me off early in the morning? Oh!!! God wasn’t finished just yet with me. He said are there some other areas in your life where you have not been committed or have a fear of committing to? Ummmm no ( feeling pressed). But God kept speaking to my spirit with his gentle loving self by saying, why haven’t you opened your haircutting shop? Haven’t you Been praying about that for 10 years now? I answered yes. Next question, what about you getting in shape to be able to wear a 2piece for the first time. Do you eat and workout consistently? I answered no. Have you finished any of your books yet? I answered no. Tonya, I remember you saying that you were going to work on keeping the house spotless everyday even if your husband messed it right back up. Did that last? I answered no. Then I heard, in order for anything to become a success, you must stay committed no matter how hard it gets. By saying no to divorce and yes to your marriage, it will teach you commitment. Not just in marriage but in life. Your problem has never been afraid of failure or success. It has always been your lack of commitment. So today is the beginning ofyour new life and it starts by making the decision to commit to the no and yes of your marriage. By this time I’m in tears because of the revelation and conviction through the holy spirit. So, to my husband jae, today I am taking a stand for our marriage. I am saying no to divorce ( I’m sweating by the way) and yes to the ministry of our marriage. I love you.

Your committed wife


#naturalhairjourney #naturalhair #hair #howto, #naturalhaircommunity #curls #naturalhairstyles #curlyhair #teamnatural #naturalhairdaily #blackgirlmagic #natural #naturallyshesdope #hairgrowth #healthyhair #melanin #naturalhaircare #protectivestyles #naturalhairdoescare #hairgoals #naturalista #naturalhairproducts #healthyhairjourney #type #afro #hairjourney #myhaircrush #haircare #coils #amazingnaturalhair #bhfyp

Always start with freshly cleansed hair. I use the Giovanni shampoo and conditioner line. I purchase my shampoo and Conditioner at Vitamin Shoppe. It’s very inexpensive and i enjoy the natural benefits of this hair care line.

Whenever I condition my hair with Giovanni deep conditioner, I prefer to use a plastic cap and sit under my hair steamer. You guys…. the hair steamer is liiiiife!!!  Our hair need so much moisture placed back in after shampooing. The hair steamer does just that to your hair. Sometimes, I steam my hair without any product in it as well.  I will probably do a video on the hair steamer and let you see the difference.  Usually, I’ll sit under the steamer for 20 minutes then I rinse my hair with cold water to close the cuticle layer of my hair ( less frizz).

After rinsing the conditioner out, I use a t-shirt to dry excess water from my tresses. The reason I use a t-shirt vs a towel is because using a towel create split ends and often help create frizz in the hair.  Then I Applied Giovanni direct leave-in conditioner in my hair. Always use a leave in conditioner for natural hair. Trust me, You hair will thank you for it. Pay extra attention to the ends of your hair which tend to be the driest section of our hair.  Oh! I use a paddle brush on my hair  to comb and detangle the conditioner through. Please start at the ends of your hair  first then work your up to the root. When your hair has been thoroughly detangled, its time to section your hair in 5 sections. You can section your hair in as many sections as you want, I just use 5.  Grab you some olive oil eco styler gel and apply it to each section and finger comb it through your strands. Remember a section at a time. Then the very last step is to roll  your hair in a spiral pattern with your perm rods of choice. I personally like the gray colored rods.  It also depend on how big or small of a curl you would like to achieve.

Picture the way you want your hair to fall into the style your trying to achieve. In other words, rod your hair the way you would like your hair to fall when you remove your rods.

I allowed my hair to air dry. Once my hair was dry, I mist it with a little water in a spray bottle and booom!!!

SEX…. Is it more of a chore or enjoyment?


This is another open forum for the ladies and gentlemen…

Question: Is sex more of a chore in a marriage/relationship or enjoyment?

I know some people can relate to  both sides. You hear about people being in relationship for a couple of years and lose the sexual enjoyment. Instead it become more of a chore. Something you do out of an obligation. If you didn’t have to do it you wouldn’t.

Quick scenario: chick gets ready for bed in a head scarf, sweat pants, big t-shirt with one sock on and the other one off. Boyfriend/ husband/fiancĂ©, scratching his butt real hard, farts, look at his chic like she did it then yanks his boxers out of his crack just before getting under the covers. The chic has all kind of names going through her head that she wants to call him but instead both of them turn their backs to each other until……… he turns around and press it against her butt and then she has 2 seconds to come up with a good fake snore, get a fast head ache or take a deep breath and give in hoping it will be over soon.

My question is where does things go wrong? and why?  There are no right or wrong opinions.  I

I feel that sex is very important in  a relationship.  It’s where 2 people get a chance to connect on a spiritual level with their soul mate. It relieves stress, it makes your bond closer. It’s enjoyment for me… what about you?

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