Hey yall, im so excited to share with you my first business visual shoot for Tonya Deshawn Photography.

I’m so excited that I’ve decided to add it to one of my photography packages.

Shout out to my amazing videographer on IG jaeg7782_avidfilmagery and my models on IG dreambraidsbyjessica

I hope you enjoy


Since this is mainly a natural hair blog, I was trying to think of interesting ideas to blog about that isn’t already saturated with information on it.

I was wondering if anyone would be interested in seeing me do a step by natural hair steaming video and discuss the benefits of it.

If so, let me know.. also if you have any other natural hair ideas or styles you would like for me to demonstrate or talk about, leave your ideas in the comment section.

This is something new that I wanted to try for 2021…….Any requests????


I’m often asked what do I use on my hair when I do a wash & go. If you are naturalista, you know all to well how hard it can be to find the right products that work great with your natural hair.

I like to keep it simple with 2 or 3 products. I’ve gone through my product junkie stage especially while trying to find the perfect products. While trying different products, there was one product that tested true and faithful to my type of curl pattern ( which is 4a curl pattern) and that was Eco styler gel aloe vera. I could not live without it lol.

Over time I’ve learned different techniques to use so that my wet & go style always come out perfect 👌. So I decided to do a video showing how I achieve my poppin curls. P.s. we ALL have “good hair”. You just have to find the products that work best for your hair type. Feel free to like and subscribe. If you have video ideas for me, leave me your ideas or hair questions in the comments and I will get on it. P.S. I’m also a licensed cosmetologist 😜


I’m going to share with you all a personal moment in my life, when I didnt feel so pretty or good enough body wise. Being on social media and comparing myself to the people I saw on there. It was hard not seeing ppl on there that looked like myself.  I became self conscious and it showed in my personality towards others. It was after I had my 2nd son. My weight refuse to go down.  I didnt know how to deal with it or what to do to fix it. I had only one idea …..starve myself.  Yes, I know some of you personal trainers out there probably cringed when you read that but hey I didnt know any better at the time and I really had no one to teach me differently.  Starving myself seemed like it was working until my hair started falling out. Oh and I started getting a fever. And don’t get me started on the constant constipation, no energy and I even developed acid.  reflux. On top of all of that yall, I ended up gaining more weight. I couldn’t understand what I was doing wrong.  No eating = skinny …..right?     WRONG !!!!!!


My body was refusing to let go of the food I was eating because it didn’t know when it would get its next meal. Starving myself was having the opposite effect on my body. WTH !!!!???

After a couple of years of this, I realized that I wasn’t helping myself but hurting myself.  It wasn’t until I almost put myself into the hospital that I realized that the root of my problems was that I didn’t have any self love..  omg, I didn’t love myself. I didnt need to work on my weight, I needed to work on loving myself. Wow!! That hit me like a ton of bricks. So I shifted my thoughts from being over weight to how do I start loving myself. Which in return helped me to lose weight in the process. I started by researching ways to love yourself.

1st, was accept yourself just as you are, even if your not where you want to be. Now I must be honest, I knew this was going to be a hard one for me.

2nd, I had to stop comparing myself to others. So while I was going through this process, I took a break from social media for awhile.

3rd, I started walking. I used this time to give myself compliments the whole entire walk.  Yep, sure did.

4th, I started carrying a gallon of water with me everywhwere i went.   Omg water was soooo nasty to me at first but I saw how much water weight I was getting rid of so it started encouraging me to drink more of it.

5th, I stayed off of the scale. The break up was real. Sorry scale but we need to take break from each other for awhile.

6th, I started eating 5 small meals a day. High protein low carb meals.

After awhile of this, I could feel a change in my body and the way that I was feeling about myself.

I begin to realize that there was nothing wrong with my body. It was my mind that needed a diet.  I also started to realize that I wasn’t the only one going through this body shame thing. Both men and women feel this way. After more research I realized young girls and boys are experiencing this shame at an early age at an alarming rate. 

I knew I had to do something to help people  overcome this feeling of self hate but how?

I didnt have the answer back then but when I started photography, I kept running into the same problem with my clients being afraid to do photoshoots because of their ” love handles, stretch marks, big butts,  face, or because of their weigh gain as a whole.  Thats when the light bulb ï’¡ went off.  I noticed how beautiful and confident they felt after doing a boudoir shoot or something a little sexy.  I enjoyed seeing the self love they found by looking at themselves in a way that they never did before.   I decided that boudoir was a way for me to help, teach and give back all at the same time. 

We are all beautiful. Everyone is not suppose to be skinny.  Some of us are suppose to be voluptuous queens And teddy bear kings. Who doesn’t still love their favorite teddy bear?  Stop being hard on yourselves and show more love and admiration.  C’mon look at yourself in the mirror, blow a kiss at yourself and own that shit….


I finally got my nose pierced and I’m glad I did it. Before you look at this video, just know that I was afraid lolol. I do not like anything that resembles a needle. It might as well have been a sword going through my nose. Lol. I honestly think I reverted back to a 3rd grader while getting this piercing. But enough of that. You’ll get the picture when you watch the video


So, I went to get my nose pierced. I was so excited. Actually my husband treated me to a nose piercing on one of our monthly dates. So after getting the piercing things were looking pretty good. My nose was a little sore but that was pretty much it. Sleeping with a nose piercing proved different for me. It seemed like every time I turned around, I was hitting my nose with my arm or hand. What are the odds of this happening? Well a few days of this first fight with my nose, I started to notice a bump near my piercing. It started getting bigger and bigger. I couldnt take it anymore so I started looking at videos on how to get rid of this ugly bump. I tried the sea salt and hot water, peroxide and I even used ear piercing solution. Nothing worked !!! Oneday I decided to try alcohol on a cotton q-tip and what do you know……..it felt like a miracle. I started to see the bump disappear extremely fast. Within 2days, it was gone. Here’s the how to video https://youtu.be/SAIIU7F5AMQ


My husband just turned 67 years old on August 10th. I cant get over how young he looks. I mean…….what kind of vitamins are you taking sir? What kind of holy water fountain are you drinking from? Maybe it’s because your vegan. It looks like hes full of juices and berries. If you dont believe me check out the rest of his recent pictures from a photoshoot I did with him.
See!!!! I told you !!!! This man is amazing. At 67 years old, he chases after the mailman every saturday because he cant stay off of amazon website. The crazy part yall is that he chases the mailman with his shoes off…. doesnt that just turns you on?
This is my husband sitting down thinking. See when your 67 years old, it’s hard for you to think with your head up because your neck is weaker at that age. So the gravity of a his bighead pulls his neck down.
Oh !! And on this picture, I think hes looking at my butt. I’m probably bending over picking up some carrots off of the floor for him to snack on. I cant explain to you why he loves dirty carrots but my guess is he think he is bugs bunny or something. But anyways you guys, this is my antique 67 yr old husband. P.s. this was fun to write. I hope you enjoyed and had a good laugh today…
P.s.s. Hes also a personal trainer.
This is he and CT Fletcher in Las Vegas 2019. CT is like your how….old MF??? !!! Lol (jk jk ) If you have fitness questions, he would be glad to answer them for you. You can follow him on youtube, instagram and fb under ” avid athletics”


#lifetime, #rkelly #victims, #rnb,#music, #captionthis, #hiphopnews,  #aaliyah 

Part 2 of surviving R Kelly had me almost speechless. It had me staring into space. In my first post on the subject, I touched on how I felt about all the victims involved including the younger victimized  Robert Kelly. After watching the 2nd part of the show, I was left with an upset stomach.  I couldn’t understand why this girl still wanted to be in his world after seeing for herself what he was being charge for at the courthouse.   


The first thing to come to mind is this man is a malignant Narcissist.  


What is narcissistic personality disorder?


It is  someone who seems excessively vain or full of themselves.  Narcissism doesn’t mean self-love—at least not of a genuine love.  It’s more accurate to say that people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are in love with an idealized, grandiose image of themselves. And they’re in love with this inflated self-image because it allows them to avoid deep feelings of insecurity. 


Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding. This way of thinking and behaving surfaces in every area of the narcissist’s life: from work and friendships to family and love relationships.

People with narcissistic personality disorder are extremely resistant to changing their behavior, even when it’s causing them problems. Their tendency is to turn the blame on to others. What’s more, they are extremely sensitive and react badly to even the slightest criticisms, disagreements, or perceived slights, which they view as personal attacks. For the people in the narcissist’s life, it’s often easier just to go along with their demands to avoid the coldness and rages.People with narcissistic personality disorder frequently mistreat, manipulate, or abuse people that are close to them to get what they want. They see nothing wrong with doing so, since they always put themselves first and do not consider the needs of others to be as important as their own. Malignant narcissists have enough polish and charisma to cover their real motivations on most occasions. When their true nature is finally exposed, family members and friends are often shocked and bewildered by what they discover.

Malignant narcissists frequently cause great emotional or physical harm to others, to the point where they may be labeled sociopaths or psychopaths. But ultimately narcissism is their real problem, and without therapeutic intervention their malicious behavior may continue indefinitely. Does any of this sound familiar to you?  


My heart goes out to his wife Andrea.

The emotional turmoil that she endured is unimaginable.  Sure, she can sit down and talk and try her best to explain it but there are no words. We’ve all been hurt and cheated on before and can relate to the hurt deep in our heart that is indescribable, Right? Well what we went through was nothing compared to the kind of hurt she felt. To this day, you can still see that she is potentially scarred for life. 
 For the 2nd night, I’m sending love and healing to the victims.


Stay tuned until part 3 tomorrow guys..

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