So, I went to get my nose pierced. I was so excited. Actually my husband treated me to a nose piercing on one of our monthly dates. So after getting the piercing things were looking pretty good. My nose was a little sore but that was pretty much it. Sleeping with a nose piercing proved different for me. It seemed like every time I turned around, I was hitting my nose with my arm or hand. What are the odds of this happening? Well a few days of this first fight with my nose, I started to notice a bump near my piercing. It started getting bigger and bigger. I couldnt take it anymore so I started looking at videos on how to get rid of this ugly bump. I tried the sea salt and hot water, peroxide and I even used ear piercing solution. Nothing worked !!! Oneday I decided to try alcohol on a cotton q-tip and what do you know……..it felt like a miracle. I started to see the bump disappear extremely fast. Within 2days, it was gone. Here’s the how to video https://youtu.be/SAIIU7F5AMQ
#fearless #love #questions #red #speaknow #reputation #motivation #life #happy #reputationstadiumtour #instagood #fear #fake #strong #sad #swiftie #quotes #believe #happiness #success #fear #swifties #inspiration #entrepreneur #sadquotes #nature #cute #fitness #quotestoliveby #bhfyp #blogging
Do you really know?
Lets take a moment to think about it in a deeper sense.
So you want to start a business right? But you haven’t because of “fear”. Can you physically see fear? Can you physically touch it? Does it have a smell? A taste? Can you hear it? Those are all 5 of our senses yet, we are unable to use these senses to describe what fear is. Which is why I ask the question. What the hell is “fear”? To me the word “fear” represents a symbol. What is a symbol? Something that represents something else – in essence. The word symbolic is defined as : “The practice of representing things by means of significance to objects, events or relationships. ” what I mean by this is when you make it up in your mind that you want to start a business then the symbolism of fear start to show up, ask yourself why is fear showing up whenever I think of starting a business. Start digging deep into your psyche. Ask yourself what part of starting a business am I most fearful 😨 of? Lets say, your answer was the financial part of the business is what makes you think of fear. Ok. Now we are getting somewhere. Lets tackle the business issue. You can take business classes, financial classes, or you can hire someone in that field to handle the aspect of the business for you. Pay close attention to the way they do it and slowly learn it for yourself. Have you ever heard someone talking about ants or mosquitos crawling or saw alot of damn ants on tv and you started scratching your own arm or slapping your neck like it was actually crawling on you? Or remember when you were younger, imagining that your bed was some kind of boat and you were “afraid 😨” to put your feet on the floor because we were somehow convinced that it was water full of sharks and they would bite our feet off. Remember that, you damn pyschos!!! Smh lol 😆 Listen linda. Linda linda linda , listen. The moral to this story is “fear” is a pretend emotion. Lol Get out your own heads and do the work to start that damn business.
P.s. Would you do me a favor? Like, comment, follow and share this post. Mmmmmuuuuuaaaahhh😘
#relationshiprepair #personaldevelopment #relationships #love #successquote #listening #communication #marriagematters #marriage #couplesgoals #nosex #sexless #couplestherapy #lifecoach #selfdevelopment #counseling #counselling #averyaffirmations #averycounselling #langleybc #fortlangley #relationshipmaintenance #breakingbarriers #discernment #ishope #course #mindfulness #surreybc #techniques #deadbedroom
In general, Everyone has sexual needs. Am I right? Whether your single,in a relationship or married.
When in a committed relationship, you are restricted from satisfying those needs outside of the relationship. (Supposedly)
But what if your partner has no obligation to satisfy these needs for you within the relationship?
How do you handle that situation?
I was sitting in a restaurant one day eating by myself and i overheard a conversation with 5 ladies and 3 guys talking about their sexless marriages. To my surprise, it was the women who wanted sex more in the marriage. And it was the husbands who refused to give it up. That blew my mind. I always thought guys were the horny macoroni’s. The conversation had my full nosey attention. As i continued to pretend to be into my salad, i overheard one lady explain in frustration that it’s not merely the act of sex. She said, What I’m missing is being desired, having the intimacy and spontaneity that we had before. Breathing in each other’s air, cuddling up, caressing each other while watching tv, him kissing my shoulders or love tapping my derriere as I walk by, all of it. I miss the Secret glances, the anticipation. Where did it go and do I have to go the rest of my life without it? This is not the relationship that I was “promised” when we were married . The longer, I go without, the more I feel the attraction towards him leaving me. It is, in fact, a betrayal on his behalf. She finished her story in tears of frustration.
While everyone consoled her by rubbing her back and handing her tissues, I heard another lady began speaking.
By this time, I’m all in the conversation.
She blurted out. It’s been three and a half months since we have been together sexually and I’m starting to consider other alternatives. I started chewing my salad slow because i was afraid if i continued to chew fast, the crunching noise would become too loud for me to hear the juicy story i was listening to across the table. She continued. This isn’t what I signed up for, but the phrase for better or worse still means something to me. If we can’t improve things I’m afraid I’ll be someone who will cheat, and that isn’t who I want to be.
One of the guys butted in and said listen, I understand 100%.
Two wrongs don’t make a right, but the hole created lends to so many other problems such blocks in communciation, unconscious distancing, wandering eyes and the desire for the intimate touch even if it’s from another person/lover. It’s a terrible place in an otherwise very happy marriage.
some of the others commenting said they felt justified in cheating. But while that solves their problem temporarily, it creates its own new problems. In which they all shook their heads in agreement. Eventually they all had a chance to express their deepest feelings and were preparing to leave. After they left the restaurant, I sat there pondering over what id just overheard. I also realized that they all left with no resolve in sight. It has to be such an awful feeling to be married to someone that you love and crave sexually and them not crave you just as much. It has to feel like torture. Especially, If medical issues have been ruled out and your spouse won’t make any effort to help bring desire and sex back into the marriage when you lovingly and honestly express your needs, well, that’s telling you a lot.
What are your feelings on this subject? Cheat,divorce or suffer?
#relationshiprepair #personaldevelopment #relationships #love #successquote #listening #communication #marriagematters #marriage #couplesgoals #couplestherapy #lifecoach #selfdevelopment #counseling #counselling #sayyes
Last night my husband and I were reading a book called the 7 rings of marriage. Which is an awesome book if I must say. Anyways, we got on a particular part in the book that asked the question… will you say yes AND say no? Yea that was kind of confusing to me too. So my husband read on……. it went to explain. By saying “NO” it means that you and your spouse will decide to say no to divorce all together no matter what becomes of your marriage. Remaining true to your agreement with god. Anytime it gets bad in your marriage, the answer will always remain “NO” to divorce. It said you can already be happy or miserable as hell in the marriage but divorce will not be an option. Then it asked us a question that had me stuck in the middle of the street like a deer staring at a tracker trailers head lights. It said before moving on to the next chapter in this book, will you take the stand and vow, no to divorce and yes to your marriage as a ministry?……………….wheeeeew!!!!!! Just like that my husband answered yes I do!!!!! And he was sitting there waiting for me to answer but I was stuck. Really stuck!! Now don’t get me wrong, I love the shit out of my husband. I really do. But I’m like I remember times when I’ve gone to see a lawyer for divorce before because I felt like it was the last straw. I couldn’t take it anymore, I felt like I was going to lose my mind if I didn’t get a divorce. Yet this book and my husband is asking me to take my possibility of divorce away from me?. So, instead of answering my husband question, I begin asking him questions like, so babe, you are willing to stay with me no matter what!!!! I do to you in our marriage? Again he immediately said yes!!! So I took it up a notch and asked well what if I did the absolute worst to you aka cheated or something? Again yes!!!! So I asked how? He said because I know that you won’t do anything to hurt me. You’ve never given me a reason to feel that way so I feel positive. I’m thinking to myself, so I’ve made it easy for him to love me and trust me unconditionally. He has never been faced with the possibility with going through a divorce before. He’s never cried himself to sleep of pain and disappointment. He’s never been given the experience of……well you get what im saying. So quite naturally, it was that easy for him to answer because he’s only felt love, trust, support and loyalty in our marriage. But for me, it was hard. I felt paralyzed just from the thought of having no way out if I needed it. So the next morning when I got up, that question was heavily on my mind. I went outside with our doggie envy to let her use the bathroom and while I was waiting, I ask God a question. I said lord why is it so important for me to have a way out of my marriage? No answer. Then I asked again. Lord, why am I so afraid of commitment? Then I heard the record scratch like on tv when something happens. Wait a minute!!!! Whaaaat!!!! No no no that was not my question lord where did that come from? Afraid of commitment? No I’m not!! How am I afraid of commitment? I enjoy being married. I have never cheated on my husband. I’m not going anywhere!!!!……..unless…. (then I paused) then continued talking. Unless things are getting to hard for me or I feel like I don’t want to do it anymore. Wooow!!! Really god!!??? Are you really telling me off early in the morning? Oh!!! God wasn’t finished just yet with me. He said are there some other areas in your life where you have not been committed or have a fear of committing to? Ummmm no ( feeling pressed). But God kept speaking to my spirit with his gentle loving self by saying, why haven’t you opened your haircutting shop? Haven’t you Been praying about that for 10 years now? I answered yes. Next question, what about you getting in shape to be able to wear a 2piece for the first time. Do you eat and workout consistently? I answered no. Have you finished any of your books yet? I answered no. Tonya, I remember you saying that you were going to work on keeping the house spotless everyday even if your husband messed it right back up. Did that last? I answered no. Then I heard, in order for anything to become a success, you must stay committed no matter how hard it gets. By saying no to divorce and yes to your marriage, it will teach you commitment. Not just in marriage but in life. Your problem has never been afraid of failure or success. It has always been your lack of commitment. So today is the beginning ofyour new life and it starts by making the decision to commit to the no and yes of your marriage. By this time I’m in tears because of the revelation and conviction through the holy spirit. So, to my husband jae, today I am taking a stand for our marriage. I am saying no to divorce ( I’m sweating by the way) and yes to the ministry of our marriage. I love you.
Your committed wife
#spirituality #love #meditation #spiritual #god #peace #wisdom #life #faith #soul #art #enlightenment #yoga #consciousness #inspiration #zen #nature #healing #mindfulness #quotes #awakening #religion #motivation #believe #spiritualawakening #goodvibes #energy #instagood #compassion #bhfyp #marriage, #counseling, #relationships, #help, #relationshipgoals
I want to talk about a subject that everyone is so excited about in the beginning then once they do it, they realize it’s not all peaches and cream.. … yeah, you guessed it
I was married in 2005 and divorced in 2008 due to infidelity. Then I married my best friend in 2012. Let me first say that marriage can be such a beautiful experience in life. But it’s also very challenging. What makes it so challenging? ( I just read your mind) well, when you marry someone, you become “as one”. All there issues become y’all issues. If you do something, go out somewhere, buy something, communicate thru text, email, skype etc, the other spouse should be on the same accord of agreement with it. If they are NOT or they don’t know about it, then it’s wrong in a marriage. When we make a decision to do something, we know if it’s right or not. We know if our other half would be pleased or not. And hey! If you are someone who doesn’t think like that then before you do it… ask yourself, would this piss my honey off if they found out? When you start making decisions that you hope the other person won’t find out about is when you move your marriage into a dangerous territory called division or separation. When there is a situation or subject that divides or separates a couple then you are not on the page ” as one”. I hope that make sense. Almost everything that one spouse does will have a effect on the other spouse. If one spouse does not pay a light bill on time and nothing is communicated, it will affect both of you because you both will be in the dark. THAT SMALL situation created division between the marriage because of no communication. That!! Ladies and gentlemen is a small crack of opportunity for the devil to work his magic in to your beautiful union. That’s all he need. An opportunity. He’s saying yes!!! I thought I would never get a chance to tear this marriage up. I couldn’t get them to be mad and breakup before cause every time you see them, there either praying together, praying for each other, keeping each other informed, laughing, having bible study with each other or having the best sex ever. Lol ( rubbing his hands together) the husband let the lights get cut off so I know she’s gonna be mad. Let me see how much damage I can do to this other wise beautiful marriage. That’s how the devil thinks about your marriage. He seeks to steal ( your marriage) kill ( your marriage) and destroy ( your marriage). So it’s up to you how you respond to the upsets in your marriage. Respond wrong ( you will give the devil a window of opportunity) respond right ( the devil lost his opportunity). Husbands, put god and wife first. Wives, put god and your husband first. Some of us have allowed the devil to screw our marriage up for so long that we don’t know where to start. That’s ok. God does… start with him. Just remember in a marriage that every one of us has weaknesses. No one is perfect so remove that expectation from your spirit. You have faults just like they do. When it seems like it hurts to think about making your marriage work because of the hurt and pain that you’ve endured. I understand that feeling all so good but pray for your spouse and ask God to restore you from the inside out and make you two whole again. Find you a prayer and fast on it every day and every night. Kiss your mate when you really feel like slapping the hell out of them. Love them hard even when you ” feel” they don’t deserve it. Your not doing it for them, your doing it as a sacrifice to god. Die to yourself. Fight for your marriage spiritually. If you really want it and watch god work.
50 Ways to Stop Pulling Your Hair
- © Trichotillomania Learning Center, Inc. 2010. All Rights Reserved
Originally published on the TLCTRICHSUPPORT email group.
As many of you know I am over 9 weeks pull free. I started to come up with a list of ideas on how to stop pulling your hair for a article im writing. I am going to list them below.
50 ways to stop pulling your hair
* = I have tried these methods. ** = These tips have helped me the most.
- Wear a bandana to bed. *
- Make a sticker chart. Everyday that you go without pulling add a sticker. Hang this sticker chart in a room where you pull the most.**
- Reward yourself after several days (or hours) of being pull free.*
- Be patient with yourself.*
- Join a support group.*
- Talk to another person with Trichotillomania.*
- Wet down your hair. This will make it really hard to pull out your hair since it will be slippery.*
- Learn what your body needs instead of pulling. Is your body tired, hungry, sleepy, excited, etc? Then tell yourself out loud what you need and go do it.**
- Get a membership with TLC
- Stimulate your senses. Many of us that pull like the sensation that comes with it. Instead of pulling do other things to stimulate these such as washing your hair, brushing your lips on dental floss or string (if you rub the hair on your lips), and massaging your scalp.*
- Avoid caffeine right before bed. Often bed time is a time when a lot of people pull. By using caffeine you keep yourself up longer and it heightens anxiety.*
- Buy a fidget toy.*
- Find other things to do with your hands such as knitting, crocheting, or cross stitch. *
- Wear a hoodie to bed as a barrier to pulling. *
- Go see a psychologist that performs cognitive behavioral therapy
- Try hypnotherapy *
- Make small reasonable goals. Such as I will not pull for the next three hours. Then keep increasing your time.
- Look at your hair in the mirror everyday with your hands behind your back. Stare into the mirror until the anxiety to pull has lessened. This is called exposure therapy and it does work! **
- Look in the mirror every day to see how much its grown. Be proud of your hard work. **
- Brush your hair instead of pulling*
- Have a positive attitude**
- If you pull some hair do not beat yourself up about it, just try again.
- Use the saying “every hair belongs on my head” and repeat this over and over until the urge to pull ceases.*
- Make yourself busy, too much down time can be dangerous.*
- Help others, which in turn will help you.**
- Read everything you can on the internet about trichotillomania and the treatment plans to deal with it.*
- Watch shows and documentaries about trichotillomania to learn new techniques.*
- Wear perfume on your hands so that you will realize when your hand is going up to pull out your hair.
- Name the hairs you want to pull out. It sounds silly but for some it works.
- Spend less time in the areas of your house that you pull in.*
- Keep a journal of your feelings.*
- Find a hair that is laying around your house and stare at it daily. For many people the sight of hair can trigger hair pulling. By staring at a piece of hair everyday you are exposing yourself to the anxiety that follows. This will eventually cause the anxiety to lessen.*
- Also read textbooks about the anatomy of hair. This does the same thing as #32
- Play with silly putty *
- Take a long bath to ease the anxiety.**
- Wear a wig the entire day, until you go to bed. Then put on a bandana. ( Only use this the first two weeks or so, then trust yourself enough to take it off)*
- Take good care of your hair. Appreciating the hair you have will provide you with the courage you need to grow more. This means you should brush your hair daily, wash it at least once a day if possible, and respect that it belongs on your head.*
- Put your tweezers in a cabinet until you need them for grooming, not Trichotillomania. If you use tweezers a lot you may need to throw them out and only buy new ones when you have your Trichotillomania under control.*
- Imagine your life without Trichotillomania and with hair.**
- Place lotion or gel on your hands so it’s hard to grasp the hair you want to pull.
- Place notes that say “NO” or inspirational sayings about stopping hair pulling in places where you normally pull.
- Wear a rubber band around your wrist to snap every time you want to pull.
- Wear a bead bracelet to fidget with.
- Lift weights. Your arms will be too tired to want to pull.
- Pet an animal. Sometimes just running your hands through a pet’s fur can stimulate the same sensation that you need in order to ease anxiety.*
- Take pictures of your bald spots and post them where you usually pull. When seeing these pictures you will not want to pull since bald spots are frightening.
- Tell your friends and family to tell you to stop if they see you pulling. *
- Spread the word about Trichotillomania. Sometimes telling other people about our condition helps us want to change it. *
- Last but not least learn to love yourself. Only then can you start to heal. **