Do you #love yourself? Like really love yourself? If your answer is yes. Let me stop in my tracks and say #congratulations. Its such a beautiful inner feeling. Many people unfortunately never experience that feeling. I realize that now more than ever. Shit, I use to be that person who didn’t love myself as strongly as I should . For some, it began as a child.. With other’s it happend through life’s experiences. Some of us,both male and female are not taught how to love ourselves by our parents or in school. We had to learn these lessons on our own #life #journey. This is the reason why I love doing photography. #Photography is a great self esteem booster. In my line of work, I meet alot of people who are dealing with self image issues, low self esteem, and body shame just to name a few. I like to capture the parts of you that you love about yourself. Both men and women have the same issues about themselves. Some clients like only their eyes. So I capture their eyes in a photograph that they love. Building self esteem has to start somewhere. My hope is to build off the parts of themselves that they love and work our way up to full self love. Seeing yourself in a beautiful light does wonders for a person. I always say, everyone has a story. I just want to be the one who is blessed to share it through my photography.

I am based out of #Columbus #Georgia. I would love to start traveling doing #selfesteem building and #boudoir photoshoots . If your ever in need of a #photoshoot feel free to contact me http://www.tonyadeshawnphotography.com FB: Tonya deshawn IG: TonyaDeshawn

Here’s my latest photoshoot……enjoyūüėČ


I finally got my nose pierced and I’m glad I did it. Before you look at this video, just know that I was afraid lolol. I do not like anything that resembles a needle. It might as well have been a sword going through my nose. Lol. I honestly think I reverted back to a 3rd grader while getting this piercing. But enough of that. You’ll get the picture when you watch the video


So, I went to get my nose pierced. I was so excited. Actually my husband treated me to a nose piercing on one of our monthly dates. So after getting the piercing things were looking pretty good. My nose was a little sore but that was pretty much it. Sleeping with a nose piercing proved different for me. It seemed like every time I turned around, I was hitting my nose with my arm or hand. What are the odds of this happening? Well a few days of this first fight with my nose, I started to notice a bump near my piercing. It started getting bigger and bigger. I couldnt take it anymore so I started looking at videos on how to get rid of this ugly bump. I tried the sea salt and hot water, peroxide and I even used ear piercing solution. Nothing worked !!! Oneday I decided to try alcohol on a cotton q-tip and what do you know……..it felt like a miracle. I started to see the bump disappear extremely fast. Within 2days, it was gone. Here’s the how to video https://youtu.be/SAIIU7F5AMQ


My husband just turned 67 years old on August 10th. I cant get over how young he looks. I mean…….what kind of vitamins are you taking sir? What kind of holy water fountain are you drinking from? Maybe it’s because your vegan. It looks like hes full of juices and berries. If you dont believe me check out the rest of his recent pictures from a photoshoot I did with him.
See!!!! I told you !!!! This man is amazing. At 67 years old, he chases after the mailman every saturday because he cant stay off of amazon website. The crazy part yall is that he chases the mailman with his shoes off…. doesnt that just turns you on?
This is my husband sitting down thinking. See when your 67 years old, it’s hard for you to think with your head up because your neck is weaker at that age. So the gravity of a his bighead pulls his neck down.
Oh !! And on this picture, I think hes looking at my butt. I’m probably bending over picking up some carrots off of the floor for him to snack on. I cant explain to you why he loves dirty carrots but my guess is he think he is bugs bunny or something. But anyways you guys, this is my antique 67 yr old husband. P.s. this was fun to write. I hope you enjoyed and had a good laugh today…
P.s.s. Hes also a personal trainer.
This is he and CT Fletcher in Las Vegas 2019. CT is like your how….old MF??? !!! Lol (jk jk ) If you have fitness questions, he would be glad to answer them for you. You can follow him on youtube, instagram and fb under ” avid athletics”


#fearless #love #questions #red #speaknow #reputation #motivation #life #happy #reputationstadiumtour #instagood #fear #fake #strong #sad #swiftie #quotes #believe #happiness #success #fear #swifties #inspiration #entrepreneur #sadquotes #nature #cute #fitness #quotestoliveby #bhfyp #blogging

Do you really know?

Lets take a moment to think about it in a deeper sense.

So you want to start a business right? But you haven’t because of “fear”. Can you physically see fear? Can you physically touch it? Does it have a smell? A taste? Can you hear it? Those are all 5 of our senses yet, we are unable to use these senses to describe what fear is.   Which is why I ask the question. What the hell is “fear”? To me the word “fear” represents a symbol. What is a symbol? Something that represents something else ‚Äď in essence. The word symbolic is defined as : ‚ÄúThe practice of representing things by means of significance to objects, events or relationships. ‚ÄĚ what I mean by this is when you make it up in your mind that you want to start a business then the symbolism of fear start to show up, ask yourself why is fear showing up whenever I think of starting a business. Start digging deep into your psyche. Ask yourself what part of starting a business am I most fearful ūüė® of? Lets say, your answer was the financial part of the business is what makes you think of fear. Ok. Now we are getting somewhere. Lets tackle the business issue. You can take business classes, financial classes, or you can hire someone in that field to handle the aspect of the business for you. Pay close attention to the way they do it and slowly learn it for yourself. Have you ever heard someone talking about ants or mosquitos crawling or saw alot of damn ants on tv and you started scratching your own arm or slapping your neck like it was actually crawling on you? Or remember when you were younger, imagining that your bed was some kind of boat and you were “afraid ūüė®” to put your feet on the floor because we were somehow convinced that it was water full of sharks and they would bite our feet off. Remember that, you damn pyschos!!! Smh lol ūüėÜ Listen linda. Linda linda linda , listen. The moral to this story is “fear” is a pretend emotion.  Lol Get out your own heads and do the work to start that damn business.

P.s. Would you do me a favor? Like, comment, follow and share this post. Mmmmmuuuuuaaaahhhūüėė

How married are you?


#relationshiprepair #personaldevelopment #relationships #love  #successquote #listening #communication #marriagematters #marriage #couplesgoals #couplestherapy #lifecoach #selfdevelopment #counseling #counselling  #sayyes

Last night my husband and I were reading a book called the 7 rings of marriage. Which is an awesome book if I must say. Anyways, we got on a particular part in the book that asked the question… will you say yes AND say no? Yea that was kind of confusing to me too. So my husband read on……. it went to explain. By saying “NO” it means that you and your spouse will decide to say no to divorce all together no matter what becomes of your marriage. Remaining true to your agreement with god. Anytime it gets bad in your marriage, the answer will always remain “NO” to divorce. It said you can already be happy or miserable as hell in the marriage but divorce will not be an option. Then it asked us a question that had me stuck in the middle of the street like a deer staring at a tracker trailers head lights. It said before moving on to the next chapter in this book, will you take the stand and vow, no to divorce and yes to your marriage as a ministry?……………….wheeeeew!!!!!! Just like that my husband answered yes I do!!!!! And he was sitting there waiting for me to answer but I was stuck. Really stuck!! Now don’t get me wrong, I love the shit out of my husband. I really do. But I’m like I remember times when I’ve gone to see a lawyer for divorce before because I felt like it was the last straw. I couldn’t take it anymore, I felt like I was going to lose my mind if I didn’t get a divorce. Yet this book and my husband is asking me to take my possibility of divorce away from me?. So, instead of answering my husband question, I begin asking him questions like, so babe, you are willing to stay with me no matter what!!!! I do to you in our marriage? Again he immediately said yes!!! So I took it up a notch and asked well what if I did the absolute worst to you aka cheated or something? Again yes!!!! So I asked how? He said because I know that you won’t do anything to hurt me. You’ve never given me a reason to feel that way so I feel positive. I’m thinking to myself, so I’ve made it easy for him to love me and trust me unconditionally. He has never been faced with the possibility with going through a divorce before. He’s never cried himself to sleep of pain and disappointment. He’s never been given the experience of……well you get what im saying. So quite naturally, it was that easy for him to answer because he’s only felt love, trust, support and loyalty in our marriage. But for me, it was hard. I felt paralyzed just from the thought of having no way out if I needed it. So the next morning when I got up, that question was heavily on my mind. I went outside with our doggie envy to let her use the bathroom and while I was waiting, I ask God a question. I said lord why is it so important for me to have a way out of my marriage? No answer. Then I asked again. Lord, why am I so afraid of commitment? Then I heard the record scratch like on tv when something happens. Wait a minute!!!! Whaaaat!!!! No no no that was not my question lord where did that come from? Afraid of commitment? No I’m not!! How am I afraid of commitment? I enjoy being married. I have never cheated on my husband. I’m not going anywhere!!!!……..unless…. (then I paused) then continued talking. Unless things are getting to hard for me or I feel like I don’t want to do it anymore. Wooow!!! Really god!!??? Are you really telling me off early in the morning? Oh!!! God wasn’t finished just yet with me. He said are there some other areas in your life where you have not been committed or have a fear of committing to? Ummmm no ( feeling pressed). But God kept speaking to my spirit with his gentle loving self by saying, why haven’t you opened your haircutting shop? Haven’t you Been praying about that for 10 years now? I answered yes. Next question, what about you getting in shape to be able to wear a 2piece for the first time. Do you eat and workout consistently? I answered no. Have you finished any of your books yet? I answered no. Tonya, I remember you saying that you were going to work on keeping the house spotless everyday even if your husband messed it right back up. Did that last? I answered no. Then I heard, in order for anything to become a success, you must stay committed no matter how hard it gets. By saying no to divorce and yes to your marriage, it will teach you commitment. Not just in marriage but in life. Your problem has never been afraid of failure or success. It has always been your lack of commitment. So today is the beginning ofyour new life and it starts by making the decision to commit to the no and yes of your marriage. By this time I’m in tears because of the revelation and conviction through the holy spirit. So, to my husband jae, today I am taking a stand for our marriage. I am saying no to divorce ( I’m sweating by the way) and yes to the ministry of our marriage. I love you.

Your committed wife


#naturalhairjourney #naturalhair #hair #howto, #naturalhaircommunity #curls #naturalhairstyles #curlyhair #teamnatural #naturalhairdaily #blackgirlmagic #natural #naturallyshesdope #hairgrowth #healthyhair #melanin #naturalhaircare #protectivestyles #naturalhairdoescare #hairgoals #naturalista #naturalhairproducts #healthyhairjourney #type #afro #hairjourney #myhaircrush #haircare #coils #amazingnaturalhair #bhfyp

Always start with freshly cleansed hair. I use the Giovanni shampoo and conditioner line. I purchase my shampoo and Conditioner at Vitamin Shoppe. It’s very inexpensive and i enjoy the natural benefits of this hair care line.

Whenever I condition my hair with Giovanni deep conditioner, I prefer to use a plastic cap and sit under my hair steamer. You guys…. the hair steamer is liiiiife!!!  Our hair need so much moisture placed back in after shampooing. The hair steamer does just that to your hair. Sometimes, I steam my hair without any product in it as well.  I will probably do a video on the hair steamer and let you see the difference.  Usually, I’ll sit under the steamer for 20 minutes then I rinse my hair with cold water to close the cuticle layer of my hair ( less frizz).

After rinsing the conditioner out, I use a t-shirt to dry excess water from my tresses. The reason I use a t-shirt vs a towel is because using a towel create split ends and often help create frizz in the hair.  Then I Applied Giovanni direct leave-in conditioner in my hair. Always use a leave in conditioner for natural hair. Trust me, You hair will thank you for it. Pay extra attention to the ends of your hair which tend to be the driest section of our hair.  Oh! I use a paddle brush on my hair  to comb and detangle the conditioner through. Please start at the ends of your hair  first then work your up to the root. When your hair has been thoroughly detangled, its time to section your hair in 5 sections. You can section your hair in as many sections as you want, I just use 5.  Grab you some olive oil eco styler gel and apply it to each section and finger comb it through your strands. Remember a section at a time. Then the very last step is to roll  your hair in a spiral pattern with your perm rods of choice. I personally like the gray colored rods.  It also depend on how big or small of a curl you would like to achieve.

Picture the way you want your hair to fall into the style your trying to achieve. In other words, rod your hair the way you would like your hair to fall when you remove your rods.

I allowed my hair to air dry. Once my hair was dry, I mist it with a little water in a spray bottle and booom!!!

Fight for your marriage!


Image

#spirituality #love #meditation #spiritual #god #peace #wisdom #life #faith #soul #art #enlightenment #yoga #consciousness #inspiration #zen #nature #healing #mindfulness #quotes #awakening #religion #motivation #believe #spiritualawakening #goodvibes #energy #instagood #compassion #bhfyp #marriage, #counseling, #relationships, #help, #relationshipgoals

I want to talk about a subject that everyone is so excited about in the beginning then once they do it, they realize it’s not all peaches and cream.. … yeah, you guessed it
MARRIAGE.
I was married in 2005 and divorced in 2008 due to infidelity. Then I married my best friend in 2012. Let me first say that marriage can be such a beautiful experience in life. But it’s also very challenging. What makes it so challenging? ( I just read your mind) well, when you marry someone, you become “as one”. All there issues become y’all issues. If you do something, go out somewhere, buy something, communicate thru text, email, skype etc, the other spouse should be on the same accord of agreement with it. If they are NOT or they don’t know about it, then it’s wrong in a marriage. When we make a decision to do something, we know if it’s right or not. We know if our other half would be pleased or not. And hey! If you are someone who doesn’t think like that then before you do it… ask yourself, would this piss my honey off if they found out? When you start making decisions that you hope the other person won’t find out about is when you move your marriage into a dangerous territory called division or separation. When there is a situation or subject that divides or separates a couple then you are not on the page ” as one”. I hope that make sense. Almost everything that one spouse does will have a effect on the other spouse. If one spouse does not pay a light bill on time and nothing is communicated, it will affect both of you because you both will be in the dark. THAT SMALL situation created division between the marriage because of no communication. That!! Ladies and gentlemen is a small crack of opportunity for the devil to work his magic in to your beautiful union. That’s all he need. An opportunity. He’s saying yes!!! I thought I would never get a chance to tear this marriage up. I couldn’t get them to be mad and breakup before cause every time you see them, there either praying together, praying for each other, keeping each other informed, laughing, having bible study with each other or having the best sex ever. Lol ( rubbing his hands together) the husband let the lights get cut off so I know she’s gonna be mad. Let me see how much damage I can do to this other wise beautiful marriage. That’s how the devil thinks about your marriage. He seeks to steal ( your marriage) kill ( your marriage) and destroy ( your marriage). So it’s up to you how you respond to the upsets in your marriage. Respond wrong ( you will give the devil a window of opportunity) respond right ( the devil lost his opportunity). Husbands, put god and wife first. Wives, put god and your husband first. Some of us have allowed the devil to screw our marriage up for so long that we don’t know where to start. That’s ok. God does… start with him. Just remember in a marriage that every one of us has weaknesses. No one is perfect so remove that expectation from your spirit. You have faults just like they do. When it seems like it hurts to think about making your marriage work because of the hurt and pain that you’ve endured. I understand that feeling all so good but pray for your spouse and ask God to restore you from the inside out and make you two whole again. Find you a prayer and fast on it every day and every night. Kiss your mate when you really feel like slapping the hell out of them. Love them hard even when you ” feel” they don’t deserve it. Your not doing it for them, your doing it as a sacrifice to god. Die to yourself. Fight for your marriage spiritually. If you really want it and watch god work.

Trichotillosis- 50 ways to stop pulling your hair


50 Ways to Stop Pulling Your Hair

Originally published on the TLCTRICHSUPPORT email group.

As many  of you know I am over 9 weeks pull free. I started to come up with a list of  ideas on how to stop pulling your hair for a article im writing. I am going to  list them below.

50 ways to stop pulling your hair
*   = I have tried these methods.       ** = These tips have helped me the most.

  • Wear a bandana to bed. *
  • Make a sticker chart. Everyday that you go without pulling add a¬† sticker. Hang this sticker chart in a room where you pull the most.**
  • Reward yourself after several days (or hours) of being pull free.*
  • Be patient with yourself.*
  • Join a support group.*
  • Talk to another person with Trichotillomania.*
  • Wet down your hair. This will make it really hard to pull out your¬† hair since it will be slippery.*
  • Learn what your body needs instead of pulling. Is your body tired,¬† hungry, sleepy, excited, etc? Then tell yourself out loud what you need¬†¬† and go do it.**
  • Get a membership with TLC
  • Stimulate your senses. Many of us that pull like the sensation¬† that comes with it. Instead of pulling do other things to stimulate these such¬† as washing your hair, brushing your lips on dental floss or string (if you rub¬† the hair on your lips), and massaging your scalp.*
  • Avoid caffeine right before bed. Often bed time is a time when a¬† lot of people pull. By using caffeine you keep yourself up longer and it¬† heightens anxiety.*
  • Buy a fidget toy.*
  • Find other things to do with your hands such as knitting,¬† crocheting, or cross stitch. *
  • Wear a hoodie to bed as a barrier to pulling. *
  • Go see a psychologist that performs cognitive behavioral therapy
  • Try hypnotherapy *
  • Make small reasonable goals. Such as I will not pull for the next¬† three hours. Then keep increasing your time.
  • Look at your hair in the mirror everyday with your hands behind¬† your back. Stare into the mirror until the anxiety to pull has lessened. This¬† is called exposure therapy and it does work!¬† **
  • Look in the mirror every day to see how much its grown. Be proud¬† of your hard work. **
  • Brush your hair instead of pulling*
  • Have a positive attitude**
  • If you pull some hair do not beat yourself up about it, just try¬† again.
  • Use the saying “every hair belongs on my head” and¬† repeat this over and over until the urge to pull ceases.*
  • Make yourself busy, too much down time can be dangerous.*
  • Help others, which in turn will help you.**
  • Read everything you can on the internet about trichotillomania and¬† the treatment plans to deal with it.*
  • Watch shows and documentaries about trichotillomania to learn new¬† techniques.*
  • Wear perfume on your hands so that you will realize when your hand¬† is going up to pull out your hair.
  • Name the hairs you want to pull out. It sounds silly but for some¬† it works.
  • Spend less time in the areas of your house that you pull in.*
  • Keep a journal of your feelings.*
  • Find a hair that is laying around your house and stare at it¬† daily. For many people the sight of hair can trigger hair pulling. By staring¬† at a piece of hair everyday you are exposing yourself to the anxiety that¬† follows. This will eventually cause the anxiety to lessen.*
  • Also read textbooks about the anatomy of hair. This does the same¬† thing as #32
  • Play with silly putty *
  • Take a long bath to ease the anxiety.**
  • Wear a wig the entire day, until you go to bed. Then put on a¬† bandana. ( Only use this the first two weeks or so, then trust yourself enough¬† to take it off)*
  • Take good care of your hair. Appreciating the hair you have will¬† provide you with the courage you need to grow more. This means you should brush¬† your hair daily, wash it at least once a day if possible, and respect that it¬† belongs on your head.*
  • Put your tweezers in a cabinet until you need them for grooming,¬† not Trichotillomania. If you use tweezers a lot you may need to throw them out¬† and only buy new ones when you have your Trichotillomania under control.*
  • Imagine your life without Trichotillomania and with hair.**
  • Place lotion or gel on your hands so it’s hard to grasp the hair¬† you want to pull.
  • Place notes that say “NO” or inspirational sayings about¬† stopping hair pulling in places where you normally pull.
  • Wear a rubber band around your wrist to snap every time you want¬† to pull.
  • Wear a bead bracelet to fidget¬† with.
  • Lift weights. Your arms will be too tired to want to pull.
  • Pet an animal. Sometimes just running your hands through a pet’s¬† fur can stimulate the same sensation that you need in order to ease anxiety.*
  • Meditate.
  • Take pictures of your bald spots and post them where you usually¬† pull. When seeing these pictures you will not want to pull since bald spots are¬† frightening.
  • Tell your friends and family to tell you to stop if they see you¬† pulling. *
  • Spread the word about Trichotillomania. Sometimes telling other¬† people about our condition helps us¬† want¬† to change it. *
  • Last but not least learn to love yourself. Only then¬† can you start to heal. **

Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: