#blackwomen #haircare #instagood #haircut #black #follow #hairstyle #blackgirlsrock #photooftheday #healthy #christmas #cute #naturalista #mua #haircolor #wig #naturalhairdaily #nature #locs #naturalhairjourney #blackisbeautiful #myhaircrush #men #silkpress #naturalhaircare #blackhair #hairextensions #happy #me #fitness #photography #photoshoot

Do you know how to accessorize your natural hair?

No?  Good! ( Lets just pretend I heard you say  no.)

So, Last weekend,  I decided to do a small photoshoot of myself to show naturalistas different ways to dress  up their natural hair.

In the picture below,  I decided to wear a simple pink Beanie hat  with lipstick to match.  I chose to leave a huge section of my natural hair out in the front.    I also love huge hoop earrings for some reason. .  This look is  casual yet sexy.

 In this picture below,  I chose a beautiful green flower to accessorize my hair.  Its really cute and simple whether your wearing a dress and heels or a cute shirt and jeans.

Or Hey !!!!  Who says you have to wear anything at all???!!!  Step out of the house with your  “wet and go” style accessorized with confidence and a bold color lipstick.

No matter which way you choose to rock your natural hair,  make sure your owning it.

Yours truly,

Tonya Deshawn

How to know if you really have a good man




#relationship #love #happy #life #boyfriend #girlfriend #romance #happy #lovehim #instagood #funny #gf #instalove #boy #couple #motivation #kisses #romantic #smile #cool #alone #missing #clever #thanks #sorry #college #samratashok #relationshipgoals #goals #bhfyp

How to know if you really have a good man. 


I will never forget what my first husband told me when I  asked him,  why did he cheat on me.  


His response was simple… 


His answer:   Because,  you let me. 


 Well quite naturally it doesn’t take  rocket 🚀 science to tell you that anybody who cheats on you,  is NOT a good man/ woman for you.  To me, that goes without saying because if he loves you,   truly loves you,   he will do everything in his power,  never to put you in any negative situation involving another woman. No ifs ands or buts about it. 

We can all agree that social media is of the Devil!! Lol 😆. Its so easy to cheat and communicate with other women.  So,  how to know when you’ve found a good man?  Thats an easy answer.  By his actions.  How does he treat you?  Be honest.  How does he make you feel?  What vibes do your family 👪 and friends get from him?  Does he make you feel protected?  When your in a situation where your  treated unfairly or disrespected,  does he immediately take your side and straighten it out ? Or does he remain quiet and say nothing at all.  In other words,  does he support you and have your back at all times even if it involves his family and friends? 

To Beautiful blended families

 In this day and age,  there is a strong possibility that you may find yourself in a situation where he may already have kids.  And don’t get me wrong,  theres absolutely nothing wrong with that.  My question  is how comfortable does he make you feel in that situation?  Does he make sure that the kids mother respect your role in his kids life?  Is he showing the utmost respect to you in  his co parenting relationship with his kids mother?   Does he allow you room to develop your own relationship with his kids or does he make you feel like your role is not as important in his kids life?  If you find yourself in this situation,  these questions are very important to know the answers to.   Having blended families these days are very common.  So being in a relationship or marriage can become resentful or dreadful if its not a mutual understanding between all partipating parties involved.   We hear horror stories about baby 👶 mama drama or baby 👶 daddy drama. The ex-wife or baby mama should never be allowed to feel she is more important than you. That can cause so many other disrespectful problems but   Thats another story in itself lol  but it all can be avoided if  it is  communicated and understood early on in your relationship.  

Also,  I must ask this question  because this may be the most important of them all..  And that question is how much do you love yourself?  I’ll tell you why I think this is the most important question.  Ive learned that men are very smart.  (Close your mouths ladies,  its true)   They pay attention to more than we as women realize.  Men may not always know what they want in a woman 👩 but I promise you,  they definitely know what they Do Not  want in a woman. A man pays attention to your actions more than you think.  They pay attention to how you carry yourself,  how you act in public, the clothes you wear, what kind of mother you are to your kids, how fast you allow them to meet your kids,  how often your in the streets, how fast you give up the vajayjay,  how good you  are with money, whether or not you can hold an intellectual conversation, whether or not he wants you to meet his mother and most of all,  they pay attention to how you as a woman ALLOW them to treat you and what you allow them to get away with.   They test you without you knowing it. They  will never tell you those things because men allow you to show them who you really are and from the information  that they receive from you ladies,  they’ll treat you accordingly. So loving and respecting yourself is just as important as knowing if you have a good man. Teach a man how to love and be the right man  to you by loving and being the right one  to yourself.    



Thank you for reading and would love to hear your comments below. Oh ! don’t forget to “like” and follow my blog 

Watch “Fear-This is where my fear comes from” on YouTube


#fearless #love #taylorswift #red #speaknow #reputation #motivation #life #happy #reputationstadiumtour #instagood  #strong #sad #swiftie #quotes #believe #happiness #success #fear #swifties #inspiration #entrepreneur #sadquotes #nature #cute #fitness #quotestoliveby #bhfyp

Do you ever wonder what is the “root” cause of your fear?  I recently did a blog called what the hell is fear anyways?  Its an interesting read as well.  But I decided to talk about where does fear really come from.  I am a true believer that everything has a root in which it comes from.  Sometimes those “roots”  are so deep that we either forget about them or just don’t acknowledge them at all.  whatever you don’t fix,  will always come back around until you learn the lesson being taught or in my case,  deal with the hurt.  This video has alot of emotion in it because it was the moment that I realized the “root” of my fear.   So watch this video and let me know how it makes you feel in your own spirit.


#fearless #love #questions #red #speaknow #reputation #motivation #life #happy #reputationstadiumtour #instagood #fear #fake #strong #sad #swiftie #quotes #believe #happiness #success #fear #swifties #inspiration #entrepreneur #sadquotes #nature #cute #fitness #quotestoliveby #bhfyp #blogging

Do you really know?

Lets take a moment to think about it in a deeper sense.

So you want to start a business right? But you haven’t because of “fear”. Can you physically see fear? Can you physically touch it? Does it have a smell? A taste? Can you hear it? Those are all 5 of our senses yet, we are unable to use these senses to describe what fear is.   Which is why I ask the question. What the hell is “fear”? To me the word “fear” represents a symbol. What is a symbol? Something that represents something else – in essence. The word symbolic is defined as : “The practice of representing things by means of significance to objects, events or relationships. ” what I mean by this is when you make it up in your mind that you want to start a business then the symbolism of fear start to show up, ask yourself why is fear showing up whenever I think of starting a business. Start digging deep into your psyche. Ask yourself what part of starting a business am I most fearful 😨 of? Lets say, your answer was the financial part of the business is what makes you think of fear. Ok. Now we are getting somewhere. Lets tackle the business issue. You can take business classes, financial classes, or you can hire someone in that field to handle the aspect of the business for you. Pay close attention to the way they do it and slowly learn it for yourself. Have you ever heard someone talking about ants or mosquitos crawling or saw alot of damn ants on tv and you started scratching your own arm or slapping your neck like it was actually crawling on you? Or remember when you were younger, imagining that your bed was some kind of boat and you were “afraid 😨” to put your feet on the floor because we were somehow convinced that it was water full of sharks and they would bite our feet off. Remember that, you damn pyschos!!! Smh lol 😆 Listen linda. Linda linda linda , listen. The moral to this story is “fear” is a pretend emotion.  Lol Get out your own heads and do the work to start that damn business.

P.s. Would you do me a favor? Like, comment, follow and share this post. Mmmmmuuuuuaaaahhh😘


 #relationshiprepair #personaldevelopment #relationships #love #successquote #listening #communication #marriagematters #marriage #couplesgoals #nosex #sexless #couplestherapy #lifecoach #selfdevelopment #counseling #counselling #averyaffirmations #averycounselling #langleybc #fortlangley #relationshipmaintenance #breakingbarriers #discernment #ishope #course #mindfulness #surreybc #techniques #deadbedroom

In general, Everyone has sexual needs. Am I right? Whether your single,in a relationship or married.

When in a committed relationship, you are restricted from satisfying those needs outside of the relationship. (Supposedly)
But what if your partner has no obligation to satisfy these needs for you within the relationship?
How do you handle that situation?

I was sitting in a restaurant one day eating by myself and i overheard a conversation with 5 ladies and 3 guys talking about their sexless marriages. To my surprise, it was the women who wanted sex more in the marriage. And it was the husbands who refused to give it up. That blew my mind. I always thought guys were the horny macoroni’s. The conversation had my full nosey attention. As i continued to pretend to be into my salad, i overheard one lady explain in frustration that it’s not merely the act of sex. She said, What I’m missing is being desired, having the intimacy and spontaneity that we had before. Breathing in each other’s air, cuddling up, caressing each other while watching tv, him kissing my shoulders or love tapping my derriere as I walk by, all of it. I miss the Secret glances, the anticipation. Where did it go and do I have to go the rest of my life without it? This is not the relationship that I was “promised” when we were married . The longer, I go without, the more I feel the attraction towards him leaving me. It is, in fact, a betrayal on his behalf. She finished her story in tears of frustration.

While everyone consoled her by rubbing her back and handing her tissues, I heard another lady began speaking.
By this time, I’m all in the conversation.

She blurted out. It’s been three and a half months since we have been together sexually and I’m starting to consider other alternatives. I started chewing my salad slow because i was afraid if i continued to chew fast, the crunching noise would become too loud for me to hear the juicy story i was listening to across the table. She continued. This isn’t what I signed up for, but the phrase for better or worse still means something to me. If we can’t improve things I’m afraid I’ll be someone who will cheat, and that isn’t who I want to be.

One of the guys butted in and said listen, I understand 100%.
Two wrongs don’t make a right, but the hole created lends to so many other problems such blocks in communciation, unconscious distancing, wandering eyes and the desire for the intimate touch even if it’s from another person/lover. It’s a terrible place in an otherwise very happy marriage.

some of the others commenting said they felt justified in cheating. But while that solves their problem temporarily, it creates its own new problems. In which they all shook their heads in agreement. Eventually they all had a chance to express their deepest feelings and were preparing to leave. After they left the restaurant, I sat there pondering over what id just overheard. I also realized that they all left with no resolve in sight. It has to be such an awful feeling to be married to someone that you love and crave sexually and them not crave you just as much. It has to feel like torture. Especially, If medical issues have been ruled out and your spouse won’t make any effort to help bring desire and sex back into the marriage when you lovingly and honestly express your needs, well, that’s telling you a lot.

In conclusion, Im curious.

What are your feelings on this subject? Cheat,divorce or suffer?

I love ❤ Headwraps!! 


Do you enjoy headwraps as much as I do?

Why do I love ❤ them so?  Im glad you asked.  I am a very artistic person.  I love ❤ reinventing myself.  Headwraps are one way to do it.  Its fashionable,  pretty and lets not talk about how it helps you on those days that your hair refuse to behave.  If you wear a headwrap the right way with some high heels and jeans……… oh girl!!!!!!  Talking about stopping traffic lol. My Pinterest are full of them.  Here are a few pictures of me with headwraps……


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