First, let me start by saying that there are many different ways that one can ground him or herself.

As a matter of fact, my last post “A surprising benefit of a hot/cold shower ” talks about it.

Other ways are standing straight and simply place one hand over your crown chakra (A post on that later) or simply place one hand on the top of your head for 60 secs and imagine yourself being push into the ground like this

Well sort of like this……lol

You can also place your bare feet or hands directly in the dirt like this

Grounding reconnects you to the earth and your spirtual self to your physical self. Its important to make sure you are grounded especially if you are doing energy work such as reiki or any type of healing, intuitive work or if your an empath.

  • Grounding yourself minimizes inflammation in the body.
  • Regulates heart rate.
  • Lowers blood pressure.
  • Increases blood flow.
  • Regulate stress hormones.
  • Absorbs negative energy.
  • Helps you to become more balanced. Whichever method you choose, I’m sure it will work for you. Like the old folks use to say…….dont knock it until you’ve tried it😘.
  • until then……

We all know the normal benefits of taking a hot and cold shower right?

If not, here are some.

Cold shower –

Prevent colds, tightens the skin, reduces stress, stimulates the immune system, help with weight loss, and closes pores as well as other benefits.

Hot shower-

Helps with stress, headaches, relaxes muscles, relieve nasal congestion, help you sleep and open pores.

I must admit. All of these benefits are good to know. But there is one surprising benefit of taking a hot and cold shower (Especially cold) that I can bet you didnt know it is also great for…………

Spirtual Grounding!!!!!!

Yeeeessss, honteee!! The same spirtual grounding as this

Go figure…..was I the only one that was out of the loop?

If you want to know more about ground or earthing, I’ll meet you at my next blog post titled “what is grounding and why you need it”


#lifetime, #rkelly #victims, #rnb,#music, #captionthis, #hiphopnews,  #aaliyah 

Part 2 of surviving R Kelly had me almost speechless. It had me staring into space. In my first post on the subject, I touched on how I felt about all the victims involved including the younger victimized  Robert Kelly. After watching the 2nd part of the show, I was left with an upset stomach.  I couldn’t understand why this girl still wanted to be in his world after seeing for herself what he was being charge for at the courthouse.   


The first thing to come to mind is this man is a malignant Narcissist.  


What is narcissistic personality disorder?


It is  someone who seems excessively vain or full of themselves.  Narcissism doesn’t mean self-love—at least not of a genuine love.  It’s more accurate to say that people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are in love with an idealized, grandiose image of themselves. And they’re in love with this inflated self-image because it allows them to avoid deep feelings of insecurity. 


Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding. This way of thinking and behaving surfaces in every area of the narcissist’s life: from work and friendships to family and love relationships.

People with narcissistic personality disorder are extremely resistant to changing their behavior, even when it’s causing them problems. Their tendency is to turn the blame on to others. What’s more, they are extremely sensitive and react badly to even the slightest criticisms, disagreements, or perceived slights, which they view as personal attacks. For the people in the narcissist’s life, it’s often easier just to go along with their demands to avoid the coldness and rages.People with narcissistic personality disorder frequently mistreat, manipulate, or abuse people that are close to them to get what they want. They see nothing wrong with doing so, since they always put themselves first and do not consider the needs of others to be as important as their own. Malignant narcissists have enough polish and charisma to cover their real motivations on most occasions. When their true nature is finally exposed, family members and friends are often shocked and bewildered by what they discover.

Malignant narcissists frequently cause great emotional or physical harm to others, to the point where they may be labeled sociopaths or psychopaths. But ultimately narcissism is their real problem, and without therapeutic intervention their malicious behavior may continue indefinitely. Does any of this sound familiar to you?  


My heart goes out to his wife Andrea.

The emotional turmoil that she endured is unimaginable.  Sure, she can sit down and talk and try her best to explain it but there are no words. We’ve all been hurt and cheated on before and can relate to the hurt deep in our heart that is indescribable, Right? Well what we went through was nothing compared to the kind of hurt she felt. To this day, you can still see that she is potentially scarred for life. 
 For the 2nd night, I’m sending love and healing to the victims.


Stay tuned until part 3 tomorrow guys..

Like, subscribe and share 


#lifetime, #rkelly, #victims 

While watching the surviving R kelly movement on lifetime, so many different emotions had me gripping the edge of my seat. I listened to these women tell their stories. As I listened, paying extremely close attention to their body language and  their eyes, it sadden me.  Body language and  emotion in the eyes of a person will tell you more than what comes out of their mouth. Let me say that as a woman who was also molested as a child by close individual(s) of my family, my heart goes out to the victims on a personal level.  I do believe them. Their was one female in particular that I have reservations about and that was the lady by the name of sparkle.

 To me, she has a deviousness about her. I could almost see a small smirk on her face of vindictiveness when she said certain things that most people would  probably miss. Dont get me wrong, do I think shes telling the truth about alot of things? Absolutely, I do  but I feel their might be some  fabrication added for get back purposes. Could I be completely inaccurate? Absolutely.  It’s just an observation. So dont beat me up about it. Now, to the part that alot people might want to beat me up about… there is a part of me that also hurt for the 6-14 year old Robert kelly who was also molested “allegedly” by his own sister and did the exact same thing to him and his younger brother that he did to these girls.   That’s enough to create a mentally ill monster. Yes, I think rkelly is mentally ill. I feel, after any type of molestation occurs, one of two things will happen. 1. The victim grows up and become that same type of monster. 2. The victim grows up and become extremely overprotective of themselves and others. Living in fear that something bad is going to happen. Living in constant panic mode with their guard always up. Not trusting anybody or anything. To this day, I function like number 2.  I am still today overprotective over my kids. Growing up they never knew why lol they just thought I was too overprotective.  It affects you really bad mentally. It doesn’t matter how much you try to normalize your life. It’s always a part of you. I tried to tell an immediate family member after  building  up the courage but in return, my accusation was shot down. The person I confided in didn’t believe me or take me seriously. Which made me angry inside. I am bringing this up because I understand how hard it can be to be scared to tell someone.  For the ones that do tell and nobody believes you like rkellys brother said he did, makes you feel like, well if they dont believe me, nobody will. To this day I live my life “on guard”.  Do I Condone robert Kelly’s behavior? Absolutely Not!  If someone does something to you that is bad, you naturally know that it’s bad. So if you know how wrong it is or was when it was done to you,  why would do that to someone else so that they can experience the pain that you did. I see alot of  victims here including  Robert kelly “the child”. Let’s also be clear here, this molesting shit is also happening to boys!!! Boys that are growing up to be husbands and fathers. Living with this hurt and pain too. Let’s talk about that as well.  Just because they are men does not mean they shouldn’t speak up or get help.  There are married men with real families that are living in secret with something that happens to them as children and feel that they will be looked down upon if they talk about it. Pain is pain people. I would like to send  love and healing to the victims of this particular story.

I will be posting a response to each episode of surviving R kelly.
Stay tuned and please share this and have open discussion about this huge silenced topic. 



#birthdayboy #birthday #happybirthday #love #dog #birthdaycake #cute #happy  #party #cake #family #instagood #photooftheday #birthdayparty #bday #photography #follow  #like #fun #instagram #birthdayfun #son #gift

Dear Lj, 

Today you turned 17 years old.  Wow!  Where has the time gone? It seems as though just yesterday I was changing your diapers. As I look at you today,  I get kinda emotional because I am soooo extremely  proud of the young man that you’ve become.  You have always been such a good kid  growing up.  I watch you open doors for every female you see (even if they take a long time getting to the door lol 😆), how you are there for me the entire time when I’m not feeling well,  how excited you get over funny or not so funny youtube videos😂, how you swear that you have the best dance moves ever in life, and how your maturing and thinking differently.  Oh and have I told you how much I love to hear you sing/ rap your favorite songs? You have excellent taste in music,  you have never been in any kind of trouble in school or out of school, you make friends easily and everyone loves you once they meet you.  I look forward to watching you continue to grow and mature into the man you have chosen to become in this life.  I love you and I really appreciate your spirit.  Its so genuine and real.  Im glad to be your mom. 

Love ❤ always, 

Ma


 JustGoShoot #InstaGood #InstaPhoto #PicOfTheDay #PhotoOfTheDay #Photogram #Capture #Photography #Camera #Composition #Photoshop #Instadaily #Igers #birthdayparty #HDR #HDRspotters #Instafocus #IGworldclub #Visuals #Aesthetics #ThroughTheLens #Snapshot #Exposure #Moment 

  I was asked to be the photographer at a young ladies 40th birthday party this month.  It was an old school  disco themed party.  When I was asked,  I jumped at the opportunity to experience adding the title event photographer to my portfolio.  I was actually nervous and super excited at the same time.  I was determined to get perfect shots.  I am a very professional person so I made sure that I arrived 30 mins early to the event,  I took pictures non stop,  i made sure to turn my phone on silent, I didn’t eat or drink anything at the party and to think of it,  I never took a bathroom break. The birthday girl gave me a time line that she wanted me to follow and gave me a list of pictures that she wanted me to take.  I made sure to preset my smart watch to vibrate every time i needed to move on to the next thing on my list.  My favorite pictures on that list were the candid shots.  You know,  the ones where they’re not paying much attention to you.  I loved catching them in their natural element laughing, talking,  slapping high 5’s,  dancing or even  taken selfies.  I actually gained alot of knowledge that night and by stepping outside of my comfort zone,  I taught myself a very valuable lesson….. Always Follow your butterflies.   


Here are a few pics from the party


#maternityshoot #maternityphotography #maternity #baby #pregnancy #love #photography #pregnant #newbornphotography #momtobe #maternityfashion #family  #maternityphotoshoot #babybump #mom #newborn #familyphotography #photographer #maternitystyle #photooftheday #photoshoot #motherhood #newbornbaby #babyboy #babylove #mum #portrait #cute 
So, today I did my first maternity photoshoot.  I was excited yet nervous at the same time.  The model name is Keyonna.  Shes 19 years old and will be having her first child in September.  Keyonna is naturally beautiful so she didn’t need much makeup. I love ❤ this lipstick on her by coloured raine.  It has a blue base to it which works perfectly with keyonna’s skintone.  I did a shot on the train track. Wait a minute……… did I just say that I did a shot on the train  tracks?  Doesn’t that sound  dangerous lolol.  Ok  ok  let me rephrase that whole sentence.  I photographed her on the train tracks. There!!!  Sounds better.

This picture was taken at a park where there were alot of huge flat rocks and trees. Its actually named “flat rock park”.   I wanted her to be able to look back years from now and see the beautiful miracle she had growing inside of her.

this picture is probably one of my favorites.  Why?  Well im so glad you asked.  Its because she looks so fly maaan, So polished, so confident,  so melanin popping ish.  And yes,  I just made that word up.  Thats all I got for yall.  I don’t know what else you want me to say.  Shes beautiful.

This last look is of keyonna mysteriously wearing a wedding veil.  Why did I choose to have her wear a veil?  Ok. Ok. I’ll tell you.  I just looove when yall ask questions.  I simply chose a veil to throw you off.  Its an attention getter.  You immediately look at it and wonder about it.  Yet you can still see how it brings out her beauty.  I love to throw in stuff that doesn’t make sense yet creates a beautiful picture.

I hope you’ve enjoyed my photography.

Don’t forget to “Like” and “Follow”

Love ❤, Tonya Deshawn
o​​​


#naturalhair #hair #blackgirlmagic #curlyhair #beauty #melanin #fashion #protectivestyles #love #natural #model #teamnatural #naturalhairstyles #beautiful #hairstyles #makeup #healthyhair #art #hairstylist #photography #hairgoals #curls #afro #naturalhaircommunity #melaninpoppin #like #hairgrowth #braids #style #bhfyp

Have you ever heard of bentonite clay before?

Well, you may be very surprised to hear that individuals in various cultures refer to it as a “healing clay” that detox the body and hair.

In fact, many people enjoy bentonite clay benefits by using it externally on the skin. You can feel the tightening effect on your face and body but im going to talk to you about detoxing your hair using a bentonite clay mask using just 3 ingredients (bentonite powder, apple cider vinegar and coconut oil)

First, let me tell you a little about it. What is bentonite clay? It’s actually composed of ash made from volcanos. The largest known source of bentonite clay is found in Fort Benton, Wyoming, where numerous volcanos are present.

Bentonite Clay

 

Screenshot_20180716-202736_Pinterest

Incredibly powerful, possessing a negative charge (anionic). This makes it an ideal clay for cleansing and detoxifying, as it has the ability to remove positively charged (cationic) conditioners and products that can build up on the hair and scalp. It is also said to have the ability to draw out toxins, heavy metals, chemicals, and impurities. It helps cleanse and lift impurities from the hair, aiding in conditioning, shine, softness, and definition.

Apple cider Vingear

 

Screenshot_20180716-202857_Pinterest

 

Serves as an antimicrobial agent (warding off infection), and helps ease the itching and flakiness associated with scalp conditions such as dandruff, psoriasis, and seborrheic dermatitis. ACV is also able to improve the shininess of hair and increase moisture retention by causing cuticles to lay flat via pH balancing the hair. Through this same mechanism, it is also believe that Apple Cider Vinegar can correct hair porosity issues.

Coconut Oil

Screenshot_20180716-202926_Pinterest

Oil with a high saturated fat content, rich in vitamins and nutrients beneficial to the hair. Due to its low molecular weight, coconut is one of the few oils proven to actually penetrate the hair shaft. It protects and coats the hair, and prevents protein loss.
DIY clay mask has forever changed my natural life. Because It hydrates, moisturizes, de-frizzes, softens, shine and reshape your curl pattern. I needed a detox because I was experiencing dryness and my curls needed some attention.
What You’ll Need:
a plastic or glass bowl (never use anything metal)
a plastic, wooden, or rubber stirring utensil

1/2 cup (or 4oz) of bentonite clay

2 tablespoon of coconut oil but I use more
6 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar (unfiltered)

Directions
Add the clay first, then the oils, in your mixing bowl. You can begin stirring if you like, or leave it all until the very end (I prefer to stir after everything is all in). Next, add your 6 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar. Allow it to foam for 10-15 seconds before adding in the coconut oil. The reaction between the clay and apple cider vinegar is essential to avoiding a lumpy mix.
Stir everything together until you have a smooth mixture that is roughly the consistency of yogurt.

It should look like this after all the ingredients are mixed together

Screenshot_20180716-203316_Pinterest

Apply the mask to clean, damp or wet hair from root to end with your fingers. I advise the use of plastic gloves because it will get pretty messy.
To ensure even coverage, work in small sections. If your hair begins to dry while applying the mask, keep a spray bottle nearby to spritz and keep the hair damp, but not dripping wet. After you’ve completely coated your hair with the mask, cover it with a plastic cap for 20-30 minutes, sometimes longer. You can use a hooded dryer or steamer for extra penetration, or just let the heat from your head do all the work.
When you’re ready to rinse, I highly recommend hopping in the shower. It will be incredibly difficult to get the clay out under the power of a sink faucet alone.

follow up with a conditioner of choice. I personally like giovanni deep conditioner. Rake it through your hair from ends to root, and let it sit for about 5 minutes then rinse.

Your end result will be hydrated, ultra-moisturized, soft, frizz-free, uber-defined hair.

Try it and let me know how amazing your hair look and feels.

Thank me later.

Yours truly,
Tonya deshawn


#blackwomen #haircare #instagood #haircut #black #follow #hairstyle #blackgirlsrock #photooftheday #healthy #christmas #cute #naturalista #mua #haircolor #wig #naturalhairdaily #nature #locs #naturalhairjourney #blackisbeautiful #myhaircrush #men #silkpress #naturalhaircare #blackhair #hairextensions #happy #me #fitness #photography #photoshoot

Do you know how to accessorize your natural hair?

No?  Good! ( Lets just pretend I heard you say  no.)

So, Last weekend,  I decided to do a small photoshoot of myself to show naturalistas different ways to dress  up their natural hair.

In the picture below,  I decided to wear a simple pink Beanie hat  with lipstick to match.  I chose to leave a huge section of my natural hair out in the front.    I also love huge hoop earrings for some reason. .  This look is  casual yet sexy.

 In this picture below,  I chose a beautiful green flower to accessorize my hair.  Its really cute and simple whether your wearing a dress and heels or a cute shirt and jeans.

Or Hey !!!!  Who says you have to wear anything at all???!!!  Step out of the house with your  “wet and go” style accessorized with confidence and a bold color lipstick.

No matter which way you choose to rock your natural hair,  make sure your owning it.

Yours truly,

Tonya Deshawn

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