This was really hard for me to publish because this was something that i chose to keep inside but maybe my unfiltered truth can be someone elses break through. So i share with you unselfishly. Here goes……………………………. I didn’t eat too healthy today. Had honeycomb cereal for breakfast, watermelon for a snack , 2 hot dogs and 1 bottle of water and Chex mix for snack. I have been feeling frustrated with myself and everything surrounding it. Marriage could be better, 2 kids leaving for the military soon, 37 without a real career going for myself making 500 a month, and everybody looks to me to fix there problems. Sometimes I can handle it and other times, it’s just too much to handle. Like I’m being pushed into a corner wall. It’s hard for me to stick with one thing. I never finish what I start. I complain all the time and I trust no one. I’m very critical of others but I am offended when I’m criticized. I don’t feel worthy a lot of times. I am the happiest when I’m with my kids. I like doing hair, I like giving advice, I like helping people with my money secretly, I love respectful kids, I’m excellent with money management, I am detail oriented, very organized, I love to be around positivity all the time, negativity puts me in a bad frame of mind, I love to laugh and make people laugh, I strive for harmony, I hate liars even though I lie to myself, I don’t say what I really feel inside, I hide my feelings from others, I worry what others think of me, I always want people to like and be pleased with me, I either don’t have any friends or I’m just not a good one, I’m a nagging person, I love hard, I forgive fairly easy, I believe that Jesus died for me, I have been born again, I have accept Christ as my lord and savior, I love writing and putting my feelings down on paper, I love to see people do well in life whether they like me or not, I’m a people’s person most of the time, I crave knowledge and wisdom, I love to show love and affection to the mistreated and homeless, I have a quick temper and a attitude problem, I can be one of the sweetest people you’ll ever meet, I get lazy when I’m bored, It’s hard for me to sit down and relax most of the time, I almost always see the glass half empty instead of half full, I don’t take well to rejection, I’m too prideful to ask for help but I take pride in people in need of help, I lose motivation really fast, I haven’t really healed from my past ( just kinda tuck it in my pockets), it’s hard for me to get over stuff, I loved my father but i never liked him (he was very abusive to my mother), I believe I’m mixed but have no real proof which angers me sometimes, I don’t have a genuine relationship with my only sister( I don’t think she ever got over the fact that I was born), I allow my fears to stop me from doing things I want to experience, I ignore people’s phone calls when I don’t want to be bothered and I don’t know what my real passion or purpose is….. wheeeeew! !! Never did this before. I guess you can lie to everybody else but you can’t lie to yourself. Laying it all out.. God , can you handle all of this? This is what I’ve been holding onto for years. This is my baggage.
I want to talk about a subject that everyone is so excited about in the beginning then once they do it, they realize it’s not all peaches and cream.. … yeah, you guessed it
I was married in 2005 and divorced in 2008 due to infidelity. Then I married my best friend in 2012. Let me first say that marriage can be such a beautiful experience in life. But it’s also very challenging. What makes it so challenging? ( I just read your mind) well, when you marry someone, you become “as one”. All there issues become y’all issues. If you do something, go out somewhere, buy something, communicate thru text, email, skype etc, the other spouse should be on the same accord of agreement with it. If they are NOT or they don’t know about it, then it’s wrong in a marriage. When we make a decision to do something, we know if it’s right or not. We know if our other half would be pleased or not. And hey! If you are someone who doesn’t think like that then before you do it… ask yourself, would this piss my honey off if they found out? When you start making decisions that you hope the other person won’t find out about is when you move your marriage into a dangerous territory called division or separation. When there is a situation or subject that divides or separates a couple then you are not on the page ” as one”. I hope that make sense. Almost everything that one spouse does will have a effect on the other spouse. If one spouse does not pay a light bill on time and nothing is communicated, it will affect both of you because you both will be in the dark. THAT SMALL situation created division between the marriage because of no communication. That!! Ladies and gentlemen is a small crack of opportunity for the devil to work his magic in to your beautiful union. That’s all he need. An opportunity. He’s saying yes!!! I thought I would never get a chance to tear this marriage up. I couldn’t get them to be mad and breakup before cause every time you see them, there either praying together, praying for each other, keeping each other informed, laughing, having bible study with each other or having the best sex ever. Lol ( rubbing his hands together) the husband let the lights get cut off so I know she’s gonna be mad. Let me see how much damage I can do to this other wise beautiful marriage. That’s how the devil thinks about your marriage. He seeks to steal ( your marriage) kill ( your marriage) and destroy ( your marriage). So it’s up to you how you respond to the upsets in your marriage. Respond wrong ( you will give the devil a window of opportunity) respond right ( the devil lost his opportunity). Husbands, put god and wife first. Wives, put god and your husband first. Some of us have allowed the devil to screw our marriage up for so long that we don’t know where to start. That’s ok. God does… start with him. Just remember in a marriage that every one of us has weaknesses. No one is perfect so remove that expectation from your spirit. You have faults just like they do. When it seems like it hurts to think about making your marriage work because of the hurt and pain that you’ve endured. I understand that feeling all so good but pray for your spouse and ask God to restore you from the inside out and make you two whole again. Find you a prayer and fast on it every day and every night. Kiss your mate when you really feel like slapping the hell out of them. Love them hard even when you ” feel” they don’t deserve it. Your not doing it for them, your doing it as a sacrifice to god. Die to yourself. Fight for your marriage spiritually. If you really want it and watch god work.
This is a mini rope twist style. It’s takes about 4 to 5 hours to do. This will be my protective style of choice for a month. I started by cleansing and conditioning my hair, Then I Combed It Out And Sectioned It In 4 Pony tails And Let It Air dry. The only product I used to twist my hair was Murray’s gel lot – lock for natural hair.
Let me know if you have any questions or if you need a how to link that I need to post.
Thanks for blessing my page, naturalhairworldconfessions
Let me start by saying that I am known to worry about things, big and small. I am getting to know myself more spiritually. One of the things I’m working on is fear and worrying. So, I thought I’d share something with you guys that touched my heart in a very unusual way today. Lately, I’ve been praying to God about opening my own Natural hair salon business. Keep in mind, I have no prior managerial or business skills. I’m currently working at a salon chain company like cuts by us, super cuts etc. Well, I was told I needed to attend a hair training class. which I thought was ridiculous because I’ve been cutting hair for 10 years and I’ve taken this class already ( 8 years prior). Needless to say, I was upset because I thought it was a waste of my time. The class is for 3 days (Tues, Wed and Thurs). I recieved a call the night before stating that I needed to bring a copy of my stylist license and another form. Both of which I could not find (just my luck) So, I started panicking. Not only couldnt I find my paper work but I suddenly remembered I didnt have anyone to take my 3 boys to school, or pick them up because I would be in training from 9 to 5. The morning of my training class, I got up early and joyce myers was on TV talking about how we need to Stop trying to work everything out your way and ask god to help us more. So, I said out loud God, I cannot find a my license, I didnt have the other paper I needed for this training and I dont know how my kids are gonna get to or from school. I need your help with it all. In the mean time, I am going to get dressed for this class that I don’t want to go to and trust you for the rest. I am NOT going to worry about any of it. AMEN!! So, I got dressed and ate breakfast. Right when I was about to wake the kids up for school, a news flash across my television school stating “School will be closed today” because of possible snow in Georgia. Well, I didn’t have to tell you that my mouth flew open with surprise. Now, I could go to this training and didn’t have to worry about my kids going to school today. WOW!! So, I went on to the training class relieved. When I arrived guess what?? No one asked about my license and the other form that I needed….. The instructor gave me a spare copy she had on her desk without me asking her for one (2nd WOW). Once she started training us, I noticed everything she was teaching was all important information for ME to know in order to have a successful hair salon. It was stuff that I didn’t know and hadn’t heard before or maybe I have heard it before but this time it had a purpose for me. It’s ok to know how to cut and style hair but if you’re lacking excellent customer service and appreciation for clients, your business has already failed. So, that’s why I needed to retake this training (3rd WOW). After the class was over for the day, I went home to find out that my kids school decided to close for the next day as well because of the weather. OMG, That’s 2 of my 3 training days that god worked out for me with the kids (4th WOW). I trusted him. He provided and worked out my problems better than I could have done on my own. So, I looked up Proverbs 3 verse 5-6 . which reads….(.5 )Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; (6) in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. I hope this will help someone else and increase your faith.
Thank for reading,
Lately, I’ve been running into so many people who have a down fall of constantly trying to please other people. I know many of you reading this can relate. Rather it’s you parents, boyfriend, wife, children, boss, friends etc. How many times have you said, I want to go here or wear this outfit but I know (fill in the blank) won’t like it? So, you end up not doing what you want, just so someone else is pleased. Being a people pleaser makes you miserable. I must confess that I had it bad. I put my own feelings aside for people that mattered and it was so bad that I was trying to please people that I knew didn’t like me. How crazy is that? And let’s not talk about relationships. .. Omg, I use to bend over backwards for whoever I was dating to prove myself worthy to him. I liked wearing lipstick but if I knew they didn’t like it, I wouldn’t wear it. Or what about this all familar scenerio.
me: I want to go eat at McDonald’s.
Boyfriend: I like Burger King better. ( even though I hate Burger king)
me: oh ok, I’m sure I can find something there.
Meanwhile, I’m sitting at the restaurant miserable because I’m not happy with my choice but My hardest obstacle in life was my own mother.( believe it or not) My mom always used these manipulating tactics with me growing up. For instance, I always wanted to go to the airforce. So, after high school, I took the Asvab test to go to the Airfoce. That was around the same time my father passed away. So when my mom found out my plans, she started saying to me how if I left, she wouldn’t have anyone else here and how anything could happen to her. So instead of going through with my plans, I allowed her to manipulate me into staying and I never left. I’m still here in the same city (One decision I will always regret). When she saw that worked, she started using it to pick my friends. After I was married, I told her that my new husband and I ate thinking of moving 1 hour away to start our lives and what did she do? She starting tell me how she’s getting old and if she dies, she wanted me to have the house. I’m like, ok this is getting ridiculous. On her part and mine because I was allowing her to do it. To make a long story short. We are still moving and I am determined to live my life for me. My advice to you all is to realize your worth and start living like your worthy. Stop living to please others cause you’ll never satisfy them. Satisfying yourself is much more rewarding even though it’s hard to do at first. It’s worth it in the end.
This video is by beautifulbrwnbabydol(Youtube) I love her because she’s so honest and straight forward. She speaks the truth and its so real. You don’t find people like this often. But anyway, I hope you enjoy this as much as I did and hopefully it will help someone… check her out on youtube if you haven’t already.