I’m going to share with you all a personal moment in my life, when I didnt feel so pretty or good enough body wise. Being on social media and comparing myself to the people I saw on there. It was hard not seeing ppl on there that looked like myself. I became self conscious and it showed in my personality towards others. It was after I had my 2nd son. My weight refuse to go down. I didnt know how to deal with it or what to do to fix it. I had only one idea …..starve myself. Yes, I know some of you personal trainers out there probably cringed when you read that but hey I didnt know any better at the time and I really had no one to teach me differently. Starving myself seemed like it was working until my hair started falling out. Oh and I started getting a fever. And don’t get me started on the constant constipation, no energy and I even developed acid. reflux. On top of all of that yall, I ended up gaining more weight. I couldn’t understand what I was doing wrong. No eating = skinny …..right? WRONG !!!!!!
My body was refusing to let go of the food I was eating because it didn’t know when it would get its next meal. Starving myself was having the opposite effect on my body. WTH !!!!???
After a couple of years of this, I realized that I wasn’t helping myself but hurting myself. It wasn’t until I almost put myself into the hospital that I realized that the root of my problems was that I didn’t have any self love.. omg, I didn’t love myself. I didnt need to work on my weight, I needed to work on loving myself. Wow!! That hit me like a ton of bricks. So I shifted my thoughts from being over weight to how do I start loving myself. Which in return helped me to lose weight in the process. I started by researching ways to love yourself.
1st, was accept yourself just as you are, even if your not where you want to be. Now I must be honest, I knew this was going to be a hard one for me.
2nd, I had to stop comparing myself to others. So while I was going through this process, I took a break from social media for awhile.
3rd, I started walking. I used this time to give myself compliments the whole entire walk. Yep, sure did.
4th, I started carrying a gallon of water with me everywhwere i went. Omg water was soooo nasty to me at first but I saw how much water weight I was getting rid of so it started encouraging me to drink more of it.
5th, I stayed off of the scale. The break up was real. Sorry scale but we need to take break from each other for awhile.
6th, I started eating 5 small meals a day. High protein low carb meals.
After awhile of this, I could feel a change in my body and the way that I was feeling about myself.
I begin to realize that there was nothing wrong with my body. It was my mind that needed a diet. I also started to realize that I wasn’t the only one going through this body shame thing. Both men and women feel this way. After more research I realized young girls and boys are experiencing this shame at an early age at an alarming rate.
I knew I had to do something to help people overcome this feeling of self hate but how?
I didnt have the answer back then but when I started photography, I kept running into the same problem with my clients being afraid to do photoshoots because of their ” love handles, stretch marks, big butts, face, or because of their weigh gain as a whole. Thats when the light bulb went off. I noticed how beautiful and confident they felt after doing a boudoir shoot or something a little sexy. I enjoyed seeing the self love they found by looking at themselves in a way that they never did before. I decided that boudoir was a way for me to help, teach and give back all at the same time.
We are all beautiful. Everyone is not suppose to be skinny. Some of us are suppose to be voluptuous queens And teddy bear kings. Who doesn’t still love their favorite teddy bear? Stop being hard on yourselves and show more love and admiration. C’mon look at yourself in the mirror, blow a kiss at yourself and own that shit….
Do you #love yourself? Like really love yourself? If your answer is yes. Let me stop in my tracks and say #congratulations. Its such a beautiful inner feeling. Many people unfortunately never experience that feeling. I realize that now more than ever. Shit, I use to be that person who didn’t love myself as strongly as I should . For some, it began as a child.. With other’s it happend through life’s experiences. Some of us,both male and female are not taught how to love ourselves by our parents or in school. We had to learn these lessons on our own #life #journey. This is the reason why I love doing photography. #Photography is a great self esteem booster. In my line of work, I meet alot of people who are dealing with self image issues, low self esteem, and body shame just to name a few. I like to capture the parts of you that you love about yourself. Both men and women have the same issues about themselves. Some clients like only their eyes. So I capture their eyes in a photograph that they love. Building self esteem has to start somewhere. My hope is to build off the parts of themselves that they love and work our way up to full self love. Seeing yourself in a beautiful light does wonders for a person. I always say, everyone has a story. I just want to be the one who is blessed to share it through my photography.
I am based out of #Columbus #Georgia. I would love to start traveling doing #selfesteem building and #boudoir photoshoots . If your ever in need of a #photoshoot feel free to contact me http://www.tonyadeshawnphotography.com FB: Tonya deshawn IG: TonyaDeshawn
Ok. Ok. Enough of that before I get hyped and start doing some of my best moves ever..
My name is Tonya Deshawn. I live in Columbus Georgia. Its an hour and a half from Atlanta Georgia. I was raised in Brooklyn New York, Brownsville to be exact. A few years ago, I decided to learn the art of photography. I take that back, I didnt decide, it was decided for me lol ( thanks hubby). My husband decided to buy a camera and hand it to me to take his pictures for a video shoot. At that moment, I had no idea what I was doing but after an hour or so, one would have thought I was a pro by the way I was snapping. Which reminds me to tell you, always be open minded how your gifts and talents introduce themselves to you. Sometimes, it happens in the strangest most unexpected ways. Just be open to try new things. Anyways, I decided to go to photography school for 5 months and become certified in Digital photography because I immediately fell in love with it. I started doing photoshoots and getting really good feedback. In March 2020, I decided to rent a small space and launch my very first photography studio all while shaking in my boots might I add. Lol It was a very proud moment for me because for the 1st time in awhile, I didnt allow fear to discouraged me. If you’d like, feel free to check out my portfolio on my website, FB & IG http://www.tonyadeshawnphotography.com
What kind of photography do I take? Boudoir Photography, Engagements, Headshots, Lifestyle, Business, Party Events, and street photography.
Eventually, I will travel all over, only specializing in Boudoir Photography like this.
Today you turned 17 years old. Wow! Where has the time gone? It seems as though just yesterday I was changing your diapers. As I look at you today, I get kinda emotional because I am soooo extremely proud of the young man that you’ve become. You have always been such a good kid growing up. I watch you open doors for every female you see (even if they take a long time getting to the door lol 😆), how you are there for me the entire time when I’m not feeling well, how excited you get over funny or not so funny youtube videos😂, how you swear that you have the best dance moves ever in life, and how your maturing and thinking differently. Oh and have I told you how much I love to hear you sing/ rap your favorite songs? You have excellent taste in music, you have never been in any kind of trouble in school or out of school, you make friends easily and everyone loves you once they meet you. I look forward to watching you continue to grow and mature into the man you have chosen to become in this life. I love you and I really appreciate your spirit. Its so genuine and real. Im glad to be your mom.
I was asked to be the photographer at a young ladies 40th birthday party this month. It was an old school disco themed party. When I was asked, I jumped at the opportunity to experience adding the title event photographer to my portfolio. I was actually nervous and super excited at the same time. I was determined to get perfect shots. I am a very professional person so I made sure that I arrived 30 mins early to the event, I took pictures non stop, i made sure to turn my phone on silent, I didn’t eat or drink anything at the party and to think of it, I never took a bathroom break. The birthday girl gave me a time line that she wanted me to follow and gave me a list of pictures that she wanted me to take. I made sure to preset my smart watch to vibrate every time i needed to move on to the next thing on my list. My favorite pictures on that list were the candid shots. You know, the ones where they’re not paying much attention to you. I loved catching them in their natural element laughing, talking, slapping high 5’s, dancing or even taken selfies. I actually gained alot of knowledge that night and by stepping outside of my comfort zone, I taught myself a very valuable lesson….. Always Follow your butterflies.
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So, today I did my first maternity photoshoot. I was excited yet nervous at the same time. The model name is Keyonna. Shes 19 years old and will be having her first child in September. Keyonna is naturally beautiful so she didn’t need much makeup. I love ❤ this lipstick on her by coloured raine. It has a blue base to it which works perfectly with keyonna’s skintone. I did a shot on the train track. Wait a minute……… did I just say that I did a shot on the train tracks? Doesn’t that sound dangerous lolol. Ok ok let me rephrase that whole sentence. I photographed her on the train tracks. There!!! Sounds better.
This picture was taken at a park where there were alot of huge flat rocks and trees. Its actually named “flat rock park”. I wanted her to be able to look back years from now and see the beautiful miracle she had growing inside of her.
this picture is probably one of my favorites. Why? Well im so glad you asked. Its because she looks so fly maaan, So polished, so confident, so melanin popping ish. And yes, I just made that word up. Thats all I got for yall. I don’t know what else you want me to say. Shes beautiful.
This last look is of keyonna mysteriously wearing a wedding veil. Why did I choose to have her wear a veil? Ok. Ok. I’ll tell you. I just looove when yall ask questions. I simply chose a veil to throw you off. Its an attention getter. You immediately look at it and wonder about it. Yet you can still see how it brings out her beauty. I love to throw in stuff that doesn’t make sense yet creates a beautiful picture.