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The best way to find your passion. 


Hello to the amazing person reading this today. Quick question.   Do you know what is your passion?  I’ve asked myself this question for a few years now.  I would  log my little happy 😄 go lucky self on ,  Facebook,  Instagram and  Pinterest looking at all of these people with businesses and thousands of  followers,  thinking to myself that my life was boring and not successful because it didn’t measure up to these people.  //pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js
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google_ad_client: “ca-pub-8740277263380755”, would log  off of these social media sites feeling depleted and depressed questioning my passions or a lack thereof. I started going to websites to take personality tests to find my passion,  paying for self-help seminars and buying book after book on finding my  passion.  Don’t get me wrong,  these resources are really good avenues to seek.  After years of beating myself up about not making money doing something im passionate about because I couldn’t figure it out,  I started asking myself this question.  What if my passion was as simple as being the best mom I can be?  There are a lot of popular and rich women on social media and some are horrible moms.  What if my passion was to keep my house clean,  neat and in order?  Who wouldn’t take pride in a clean house?   What if my passion was the joy that I feel from gift giving?  What if my passion was to listen and give advice to people so they can figure out where their hurt and pain stems from in life?  Its a lot of hurt people in this world.  What if i was passionate about taking photographs of  the things I consider to be beautiful and writing about my feelings and experiences?  What if my passion was to be the best wife I can be?  I mean,  haven’t you  seen divorce rates these day?  So, Who says I have to make money or be popular with my passions to be valuable in life?  Well,  I enjoy doing these things.  I’m extremely passionate about these things and I don’t make one single coin from it.   Its like I was dealing with social media peer pressure.  Like Trying to fit in with those popular highschool girls that other girls looked up to.  My point is to look within yourself and do the things that you value the most.  It doesn’t matter how simple it may be.  It doesn’t matter if you’re not making money from it.  It doesn’t matter if you’re not becoming popular from it.  Stop judging yourself by other people standards.  Make your own standards and live by them.  I say to you and myself that we are great,  passionate and valuable to ourselves and to the people who are touched by us in a positive way because of our simple yet powerful passions.  I hope 🙏 this makes you feel better and make you look at this whole finding your passion thing in a different yet positive way.  Remember,  you are great!  Right here,  Right now!

This Woman Went $10,000 Into Debt Trying to Get Instagram Famous


This Woman Went $10,000 Into Debt Trying to Get Instagram Famous

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Are you really married? 


Last night my husband and I were reading a book called the 7 rings of marriage. Which is an awesome book if I must say. Anyways, we got on a particular part in the book that asked the question… will you say yes AND say no? Yea that was kind of confusing to me too. So my husband read on……. it went to explain. By saying “NO” it means that you and your spouse will decide to say no to divorce all together no matter what becomes of your marriage. Remaining true to your agreement with god. Anytime it gets bad in your marriage, the answer will always remain “NO” to divorce. It said you can already be happy or miserable as hell in the marriage but divorce will not be an option. Then it asked us a question that had me stuck in the middle of the street like a deer staring at a tracker trailers head lights. It said before moving on to the next chapter in this book, will you take the stand and vow, no to divorce and yes to your marriage as a ministry?……………….wheeeeew!!!!!! Just like that my husband answered yes I do!!!!! And he was sitting there waiting for me to answer but I was stuck. Really stuck!! Now don’t get me wrong, I love the shit out of my husband. I really do. But I’m like I remember times when I’ve gone to see a lawyer for divorce before because I felt like it was the last straw. I couldn’t take it anymore, I felt like I was going to lose my mind if I didn’t get a divorce. Yet this book and my husband is asking me to take my possibility of divorce away from me?. So, instead of answering my husband question, I begin asking him questions like, so babe, you are willing to stay with me no matter what!!!! I do to you in our marriage? Again he immediately said yes!!! So I took it up a notch and asked well what if I did the absolute worst to you aka cheated or something? Again yes!!!! So I asked how? He said because I know that you won’t do anything to hurt me. You’ve never given me a reason to feel that way so I feel positive. I’m thinking to myself, so I’ve made it easy for him to love me and trust me unconditionally. He has never been faced with the possibility with going through a divorce before. He’s never cried himself to sleep of pain and disappointment. He’s never been given the experience of……well you get what im saying. So quite naturally, it was that easy for him to answer because he’s only felt love, trust, support and loyalty in our marriage. But for me, it was hard. I felt paralyzed just from the thought of having no way out if I needed it. So the next morning when I got up, that question was heavily on my mind. I went outside with our doggie envy to let her use the bathroom and while I was waiting, I ask God a question. I said lord why is it so important for me to have a way out of my marriage? No answer. Then I asked again. Lord, why am I so afraid of commitment? Then I heard the record scratch like on tv when something happens. Wait a minute!!!! Whaaaat!!!! No no no that was not my question lord where did that come from? Afraid of commitment? No I’m not!! How am I afraid of commitment? I enjoy being married. I have never cheated on my husband. I’m not going anywhere!!!!……..unless…. (then I paused) then continued talking. Unless things are getting to hard for me or I feel like I don’t want to do it anymore. Wooow!!! Really god!!??? Are you really telling me off early in the morning? Oh!!! God wasn’t finished just yet with me. He said are there some other areas in your life where you have not been committed or have a fear of committing to? Ummmm no ( feeling pressed). But God kept speaking to my spirit with his gentle loving self by saying, why haven’t you opened your haircutting shop? Haven’t you Been praying about that for 10 years now? I answered yes. Next question, what about you getting in shape to be able to wear a 2piece for the first time. Do you eat and workout consistently? I answered no. Have you finished any of your books yet? I answered no. Tonya, I remember you saying that you were going to work on keeping the house spotless everyday even if your husband messed it right back up. Did that last? I answered no. Then I heard, in order for anything to become a success, you must stay committed no matter how hard it gets. By saying no to divorce and yes to your marriage, it will teach you commitment. Not just in marriage but in life. Your problem has never been afraid of failure or success. It has always been your lack of commitment. So today is the beginning ofyour new life and it starts by making the decision to commit to the no and yes of your marriage. By this time I’m in tears because of the revelation and conviction through the holy spirit. So, to my husband jae, today I am taking a stand for our marriage. I am saying no to divorce ( I’m sweating by the way) and yes to the ministry of our marriage. I love you.

Your committed wife

How to achieve these curls


After shampooing my hair, 

I Applied Giovanni direct leave-in conditioner, olive oil eco styler gel and grey perm rods. 

Rod your hair the way you would like your hair to fall. 

I allowed my hair to air dry. 

Once my hair was dry, I mist it with a little water in a spray bottle. 

When God speaks,  do you listen?  What is he saying to you?


God speaks to us in many ways. One of those ways is through our mess aka Trials and tribulations. For instance, I use to struggle with trust in my marriage. It was the hardest thing for me because of what I had been through. I use to pray to god to change my husband, change the situation just change something. lol But something happend that I wasnt expecting. Instead of god changing my husband’s behavior, he switched it back to me. He asked me to look at my own behavior. I was like… Me??? As you can imagine, I was looking around the room like he has to be talking about someone else. Why should I look at myself? I havent done anything wrong. See, god loved me so much that he took the time to chastize me like a father does a child. Like he was saying, well yes I see what he did but can you look at this situation at a different angle and ask yourself was there anything that you could have done differently in this situation? (god) Do you make it easy to talk to you about things? (me) I guess, I dont. (god) Do you spend more time telling him what hes doing wrong than what he’s doing right? (me) yes. (god) are you just waiting for him to mess up so you can punish him for it? (me) yes. (god) are you very impatient with him? (me) yes (god) Do you get angry and unforgiven when he lies to you? ( Me: Now we are getting somewhere…Yes Yes I do. I hate liars!! (God)Have I been angry and unforgiven with you when you lie to me?(me) no ( with water filling my eyes) (god) well then, Is his sin any worst than your sin? after all sin is sin to me. It doesnt matter what kind it is. There is not a level scale when it comes to sin. Whether you steal or murder, its all on the same level to me. But my unconditonal love for you will forgive you for any sin. And that right there has opened my eyes to life. I realized that I am not a victim. I realize that I wasnt as perfect of a wife as I thought I was and I realized that I didnt love my husband unconditionally. I loved him but not his flaws. God loves me with my flaws. Sometimes the problems in your marriage or relationships with people is not always them. It actually could be you too. We can not change other people only ourselves. Lets take our mind off ourselves and put it on god. He will direct you the rest of the way.

My baggage


 This was really hard for me to publish because this was something that i chose to keep inside but maybe my unfiltered truth can be someone elses break through. So i share with you unselfishly. Here goes……………………………. I didn’t eat too healthy today. Had honeycomb cereal for  breakfast,  watermelon for a snack ,  2 hot dogs and 1 bottle of water and Chex mix for snack. I have been feeling frustrated with myself and everything surrounding it. Marriage could be better, 2 kids leaving for the military soon, 37 without a real career going for myself making 500 a month,  and everybody looks to me to fix there problems. Sometimes I can handle it and other times, it’s just too much to handle.  Like I’m being pushed into a corner wall.  It’s hard for me to stick with one thing. I never finish what I start. I complain all the time and I trust no one. I’m very critical of others but I am offended when I’m criticized.  I don’t feel worthy a lot of times. I am the happiest when I’m with my kids. I like doing hair, I like giving advice, I like helping people with my money secretly, I love respectful kids, I’m excellent with money management,  I am detail oriented,  very organized, I love to be around positivity all the time, negativity puts me in a bad frame of mind, I love to laugh and make people laugh,  I strive for harmony, I hate liars even though I lie to myself, I don’t say what I really feel inside, I hide my feelings from others,  I worry what others think of me, I always want people to like and be pleased with me, I either don’t have any friends or I’m just not a good one, I’m a nagging person,  I love hard, I forgive fairly easy, I believe that Jesus died for me, I have been born again, I have accept Christ as my lord and savior, I love writing and putting my feelings down on paper, I love to see people do well in life whether they like me or not,  I’m a people’s person most of the time, I crave knowledge and wisdom, I love to show love and affection to the mistreated and homeless, I have a quick temper and a attitude problem, I can be one of the sweetest people you’ll ever meet, I get lazy when I’m bored, It’s hard for me to sit down and relax most of the time, I almost always see the glass half empty instead of half full, I don’t take well to rejection,  I’m too prideful to ask for help but I take pride in people in need of help,  I lose motivation really fast, I haven’t really healed from my past ( just kinda tuck it in my pockets), it’s hard for me to get over stuff, I loved my father but i never liked him (he was very  abusive to my mother), I believe I’m mixed but have no real  proof which angers me sometimes, I don’t have a genuine relationship with my only sister( I don’t think she ever got over the fact that I was born), I allow my fears to stop me from doing things I want to experience,  I ignore people’s phone calls when I don’t want to be bothered and I don’t know what my real passion or purpose is….. wheeeeew! !! Never did this before. I guess you can lie to everybody else but you can’t lie to yourself. Laying it all out.. God , can you handle all of this? This is what I’ve been holding onto for years. This is my baggage. 

Natural by choice or popularity?


DId you become natural because you felt like it was the best healthy choice or because its popular and everyone’s doing it now?

How would you describe your style and what is your goal length?

I made the decision to go natural for both reasons equally.

My style is pretty broad and hard to explain. I dress according to how I’m feeling. If that makes sense. I love the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s era. I enjoy different cultures and nationalities and sometimes I take bits and pieces from them all to make my own style. I love high heels but I can not walk in them. I like to dress my natural up with flowers, ribbons, hats, scarves etc. My goal length is waist length. My hair has never past bra strap length so I’m excited to reach my goal with all of you.

Tell me about yours….

..20130917_200029 (1)<<<<<<This is my hair length now<<<<<<<<

Image<<<<<<<<<This is my goal length<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

SEX…. Is it more of a chore or enjoyment?


This is another open forum for the ladies and gentlemen…

Question: Is sex more of a chore in a marriage/relationship or enjoyment?

I know some people can relate to  both sides. You hear about people being in relationship for a couple of years and lose the sexual enjoyment. Instead it become more of a chore. Something you do out of an obligation. If you didn’t have to do it you wouldn’t.

Quick scenario: chick gets ready for bed in a head scarf, sweat pants, big t-shirt with one sock on and the other one off. Boyfriend/ husband/fiancé, scratching his butt real hard, farts, look at his chic like she did it then yanks his boxers out of his crack just before getting under the covers. The chic has all kind of names going through her head that she wants to call him but instead both of them turn their backs to each other until……… he turns around and press it against her butt and then she has 2 seconds to come up with a good fake snore, get a fast head ache or take a deep breath and give in hoping it will be over soon.

My question is where does things go wrong? and why?  There are no right or wrong opinions.  I

I feel that sex is very important in  a relationship.  It’s where 2 people get a chance to connect on a spiritual level with their soul mate. It relieves stress, it makes your bond closer. It’s enjoyment for me… what about you?

I need help!!!!


Ok so, although I have a license as a master cosmetologist and am great at making the natural hair grow healthy and long, there’s still some things that i need help on such as Sew- ins and etc. I live in the Atlanta ga area. I have been searching events to take classes on my weak areas and have reached out to some of my hairstylist “friends” to show me what I may or may not be doing wrong. And no one has been willing to help. Mind you I’m not asking for free. I’m a hands on kinda learner. I know the basics of sew-ins and what I need to learn might take that person a good 20 mins. It’s so sad to me how some stylists are so scared that if they somehow become a blessing to someone by teaching a little bit of what they know, that person will try to take their business or skills. Each stylist has their own artistic touch. No one can do it like you do. So why not be willing to help someone else along like someone took the time to help you. Until then………. My search continues.

Frequently asked questions about my natural hair.


1.Question: I am natural, I wear protective styles all the time but my hair is too frizzy. What do you suggest?

Answer: Wearing your hair in protective styles is an excellent idea but while it’s in those protective styles make sure that you are going the extra mile by sleeping on satin pillow cases, tying your hair up with a silk or satin scarf at night. These two things will be very helpful with fighting the frizz using a usual cotton scarf and pillow cases. This is equally as important if you are not currently wearing protective styles. Last but not least STEAM TREATMENTS are the bomb with both relaxed hair and natural hair but especially for natural hair.

2.Question:  What products have you used?

Answer: I really don’t use many store-bought products on my hair anymore. I started making my own natural  hair products. When I first started out, I was a product JUNKIE to the 100th power. For instance, when I first did my big chop, eco styler gel was my HOMIE. LOL seriously. It helped my hair grow as well. The leave in conditioner I used was kinky curly’s “knot today” , for shampoo I used a another conditioner called “Herbal essence hello hydration conditioner” as a co-wash. Now, I use eggs, mayo, vinegar, olive oil from the grocery store, lavender, tea tree oil from the natural health food store mixed with water in a spray bottle right before my steam treatments.

3. Question: How do you make your edges lay down?

Answer: Eco styler gel is my ” HOME SKILLET” forever!!!! ( the olive oil one)

4. Question: Did it take a long time to get your first puff after doing the big chop?

Answer: MMMMnnnn, well, let me just say that if you have a big chop and are dying to finally reach” PUFF STATUS” it can seem like forever in a day but looking back, My answer is NO it did not take very long. I massaged my scalp alot in my big chop stage for growth stimulation along with loving the stage I was in on my journey.

5.Question: How often do you straighten your hair?

Answer: I straighten my hair every 6 months to check my length and trim my ends.

6. Question: How often do you trim the ends of your hair?

Answer: Every 6 months. I dont feel a need to do it more than that unless you are transitioning then you would want to trim every 2 months or so.

7.Question: Why is my hair so dry?

Answer:  You could have dry hair for a number of reasons.. How healthy your hair is always starts from the inside. You have to eat healthy and drink a lot of water, take your vitamins and make sure you get some Omega-3, do not over shampoo your hair, co wash instead. Use steam treatments, condition, condition, condition. Do not use products which contain alcohol in them, sleep on satin pillow cases.

8.Question: Why does my hair have different curl patterns on one head?

Answer: For me, my relaxer changed the curl pattern of my hair after going natural.  My hair went from being knotty to curly in some areas of my head. For instance, the back is extremely curly with just the right spring back , the top has loose curls that will not hold much and my sides have very tight coily curls. So, believe me I know how you feel. It’s not just you, everyone has different textures of hair on their head or different curl patterns.

Let me know if you have any other questions and I”ll try my best to answer them promptly………