So, I went to get my nose pierced. I was so excited. Actually my husband treated me to a nose piercing on one of our monthly dates. So after getting the piercing things were looking pretty good. My nose was a little sore but that was pretty much it. Sleeping with a nose piercing proved different for me. It seemed like every time I turned around, I was hitting my nose with my arm or hand. What are the odds of this happening? Well a few days of this first fight with my nose, I started to notice a bump near my piercing. It started getting bigger and bigger. I couldnt take it anymore so I started looking at videos on how to get rid of this ugly bump. I tried the sea salt and hot water, peroxide and I even used ear piercing solution. Nothing worked !!! Oneday I decided to try alcohol on a cotton q-tip and what do you know……..it felt like a miracle. I started to see the bump disappear extremely fast. Within 2days, it was gone. Here’s the how to video https://youtu.be/SAIIU7F5AMQ


First, let me start by saying that there are many different ways that one can ground him or herself.

As a matter of fact, my last post “A surprising benefit of a hot/cold shower ” talks about it.

Other ways are standing straight and simply place one hand over your crown chakra (A post on that later) or simply place one hand on the top of your head for 60 secs and imagine yourself being push into the ground like this

Well sort of like this……lol

You can also place your bare feet or hands directly in the dirt like this

Grounding reconnects you to the earth and your spirtual self to your physical self. Its important to make sure you are grounded especially if you are doing energy work such as reiki or any type of healing, intuitive work or if your an empath.

  • Grounding yourself minimizes inflammation in the body.
  • Regulates heart rate.
  • Lowers blood pressure.
  • Increases blood flow.
  • Regulate stress hormones.
  • Absorbs negative energy.
  • Helps you to become more balanced. Whichever method you choose, I’m sure it will work for you. Like the old folks use to say…….dont knock it until you’ve tried it😘.
  • until then……

#lifetime, #rkelly #victims, #rnb,#music, #captionthis, #hiphopnews,  #aaliyah 

Part 2 of surviving R Kelly had me almost speechless. It had me staring into space. In my first post on the subject, I touched on how I felt about all the victims involved including the younger victimized  Robert Kelly. After watching the 2nd part of the show, I was left with an upset stomach.  I couldn’t understand why this girl still wanted to be in his world after seeing for herself what he was being charge for at the courthouse.   


The first thing to come to mind is this man is a malignant Narcissist.  


What is narcissistic personality disorder?


It is  someone who seems excessively vain or full of themselves.  Narcissism doesn’t mean self-love—at least not of a genuine love.  It’s more accurate to say that people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are in love with an idealized, grandiose image of themselves. And they’re in love with this inflated self-image because it allows them to avoid deep feelings of insecurity. 


Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding. This way of thinking and behaving surfaces in every area of the narcissist’s life: from work and friendships to family and love relationships.

People with narcissistic personality disorder are extremely resistant to changing their behavior, even when it’s causing them problems. Their tendency is to turn the blame on to others. What’s more, they are extremely sensitive and react badly to even the slightest criticisms, disagreements, or perceived slights, which they view as personal attacks. For the people in the narcissist’s life, it’s often easier just to go along with their demands to avoid the coldness and rages.People with narcissistic personality disorder frequently mistreat, manipulate, or abuse people that are close to them to get what they want. They see nothing wrong with doing so, since they always put themselves first and do not consider the needs of others to be as important as their own. Malignant narcissists have enough polish and charisma to cover their real motivations on most occasions. When their true nature is finally exposed, family members and friends are often shocked and bewildered by what they discover.

Malignant narcissists frequently cause great emotional or physical harm to others, to the point where they may be labeled sociopaths or psychopaths. But ultimately narcissism is their real problem, and without therapeutic intervention their malicious behavior may continue indefinitely. Does any of this sound familiar to you?  


My heart goes out to his wife Andrea.

The emotional turmoil that she endured is unimaginable.  Sure, she can sit down and talk and try her best to explain it but there are no words. We’ve all been hurt and cheated on before and can relate to the hurt deep in our heart that is indescribable, Right? Well what we went through was nothing compared to the kind of hurt she felt. To this day, you can still see that she is potentially scarred for life. 
 For the 2nd night, I’m sending love and healing to the victims.


Stay tuned until part 3 tomorrow guys..

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How married are you?


#relationshiprepair #personaldevelopment #relationships #love  #successquote #listening #communication #marriagematters #marriage #couplesgoals #couplestherapy #lifecoach #selfdevelopment #counseling #counselling  #sayyes

Last night my husband and I were reading a book called the 7 rings of marriage. Which is an awesome book if I must say. Anyways, we got on a particular part in the book that asked the question… will you say yes AND say no? Yea that was kind of confusing to me too. So my husband read on……. it went to explain. By saying “NO” it means that you and your spouse will decide to say no to divorce all together no matter what becomes of your marriage. Remaining true to your agreement with god. Anytime it gets bad in your marriage, the answer will always remain “NO” to divorce. It said you can already be happy or miserable as hell in the marriage but divorce will not be an option. Then it asked us a question that had me stuck in the middle of the street like a deer staring at a tracker trailers head lights. It said before moving on to the next chapter in this book, will you take the stand and vow, no to divorce and yes to your marriage as a ministry?……………….wheeeeew!!!!!! Just like that my husband answered yes I do!!!!! And he was sitting there waiting for me to answer but I was stuck. Really stuck!! Now don’t get me wrong, I love the shit out of my husband. I really do. But I’m like I remember times when I’ve gone to see a lawyer for divorce before because I felt like it was the last straw. I couldn’t take it anymore, I felt like I was going to lose my mind if I didn’t get a divorce. Yet this book and my husband is asking me to take my possibility of divorce away from me?. So, instead of answering my husband question, I begin asking him questions like, so babe, you are willing to stay with me no matter what!!!! I do to you in our marriage? Again he immediately said yes!!! So I took it up a notch and asked well what if I did the absolute worst to you aka cheated or something? Again yes!!!! So I asked how? He said because I know that you won’t do anything to hurt me. You’ve never given me a reason to feel that way so I feel positive. I’m thinking to myself, so I’ve made it easy for him to love me and trust me unconditionally. He has never been faced with the possibility with going through a divorce before. He’s never cried himself to sleep of pain and disappointment. He’s never been given the experience of……well you get what im saying. So quite naturally, it was that easy for him to answer because he’s only felt love, trust, support and loyalty in our marriage. But for me, it was hard. I felt paralyzed just from the thought of having no way out if I needed it. So the next morning when I got up, that question was heavily on my mind. I went outside with our doggie envy to let her use the bathroom and while I was waiting, I ask God a question. I said lord why is it so important for me to have a way out of my marriage? No answer. Then I asked again. Lord, why am I so afraid of commitment? Then I heard the record scratch like on tv when something happens. Wait a minute!!!! Whaaaat!!!! No no no that was not my question lord where did that come from? Afraid of commitment? No I’m not!! How am I afraid of commitment? I enjoy being married. I have never cheated on my husband. I’m not going anywhere!!!!……..unless…. (then I paused) then continued talking. Unless things are getting to hard for me or I feel like I don’t want to do it anymore. Wooow!!! Really god!!??? Are you really telling me off early in the morning? Oh!!! God wasn’t finished just yet with me. He said are there some other areas in your life where you have not been committed or have a fear of committing to? Ummmm no ( feeling pressed). But God kept speaking to my spirit with his gentle loving self by saying, why haven’t you opened your haircutting shop? Haven’t you Been praying about that for 10 years now? I answered yes. Next question, what about you getting in shape to be able to wear a 2piece for the first time. Do you eat and workout consistently? I answered no. Have you finished any of your books yet? I answered no. Tonya, I remember you saying that you were going to work on keeping the house spotless everyday even if your husband messed it right back up. Did that last? I answered no. Then I heard, in order for anything to become a success, you must stay committed no matter how hard it gets. By saying no to divorce and yes to your marriage, it will teach you commitment. Not just in marriage but in life. Your problem has never been afraid of failure or success. It has always been your lack of commitment. So today is the beginning ofyour new life and it starts by making the decision to commit to the no and yes of your marriage. By this time I’m in tears because of the revelation and conviction through the holy spirit. So, to my husband jae, today I am taking a stand for our marriage. I am saying no to divorce ( I’m sweating by the way) and yes to the ministry of our marriage. I love you.

Your committed wife


#naturalhairjourney #naturalhair #hair #howto, #naturalhaircommunity #curls #naturalhairstyles #curlyhair #teamnatural #naturalhairdaily #blackgirlmagic #natural #naturallyshesdope #hairgrowth #healthyhair #melanin #naturalhaircare #protectivestyles #naturalhairdoescare #hairgoals #naturalista #naturalhairproducts #healthyhairjourney #type #afro #hairjourney #myhaircrush #haircare #coils #amazingnaturalhair #bhfyp

Always start with freshly cleansed hair. I use the Giovanni shampoo and conditioner line. I purchase my shampoo and Conditioner at Vitamin Shoppe. It’s very inexpensive and i enjoy the natural benefits of this hair care line.

Whenever I condition my hair with Giovanni deep conditioner, I prefer to use a plastic cap and sit under my hair steamer. You guys…. the hair steamer is liiiiife!!!  Our hair need so much moisture placed back in after shampooing. The hair steamer does just that to your hair. Sometimes, I steam my hair without any product in it as well.  I will probably do a video on the hair steamer and let you see the difference.  Usually, I’ll sit under the steamer for 20 minutes then I rinse my hair with cold water to close the cuticle layer of my hair ( less frizz).

After rinsing the conditioner out, I use a t-shirt to dry excess water from my tresses. The reason I use a t-shirt vs a towel is because using a towel create split ends and often help create frizz in the hair.  Then I Applied Giovanni direct leave-in conditioner in my hair. Always use a leave in conditioner for natural hair. Trust me, You hair will thank you for it. Pay extra attention to the ends of your hair which tend to be the driest section of our hair.  Oh! I use a paddle brush on my hair  to comb and detangle the conditioner through. Please start at the ends of your hair  first then work your up to the root. When your hair has been thoroughly detangled, its time to section your hair in 5 sections. You can section your hair in as many sections as you want, I just use 5.  Grab you some olive oil eco styler gel and apply it to each section and finger comb it through your strands. Remember a section at a time. Then the very last step is to roll  your hair in a spiral pattern with your perm rods of choice. I personally like the gray colored rods.  It also depend on how big or small of a curl you would like to achieve.

Picture the way you want your hair to fall into the style your trying to achieve. In other words, rod your hair the way you would like your hair to fall when you remove your rods.

I allowed my hair to air dry. Once my hair was dry, I mist it with a little water in a spray bottle and booom!!!

When God speaks,  do you listen?  What is he saying to you?


#spirituality #love #meditation #spiritual #god #peace #wisdom #life #faith #soul #art #enlightenment #yoga #consciousness #inspiration #zen #nature #healing #mindfulness #quotes #awakening #religion #motivation #believe #spiritualawakening #goodvibes #energy #instagood #compassion #bhfyp

God speaks to us in many ways. One of those ways is through our mess aka Trials and tribulations. For instance, I use to struggle with trust in my marriage. It was the hardest thing for me because of what I had been through. I use to pray to god to change my husband, change the situation just change something. lol But something happend that I wasnt expecting. Instead of god changing my husband’s behavior, he switched it back to me. He asked me to look at my own behavior. I was like… Me??? As you can imagine, I was looking around the room like he has to be talking about someone else. Why should I look at myself? I havent done anything wrong. See, god loved me so much that he took the time to chastize me like a father does a child. Like he was saying, well yes I see what he did but can you look at this situation at a different angle and ask yourself was there anything that you could have done differently in this situation? (god) Do you make it easy to talk to you about things? (me) I guess, I dont. (god) Do you spend more time telling him what hes doing wrong than what he’s doing right? (me) yes. (god) are you just waiting for him to mess up so you can punish him for it? (me) yes. (god) are you very impatient with him? (me) yes (god) Do you get angry and unforgiven when he lies to you? ( Me: Now we are getting somewhere…Yes Yes I do. I hate liars!! (God)Have I been angry and unforgiven with you when you lie to me?(me) no ( with water filling my eyes) (god) well then, Is his sin any worst than your sin? after all sin is sin to me. It doesnt matter what kind it is. There is not a level scale when it comes to sin. Whether you steal or murder, its all on the same level to me. But my unconditonal love for you will forgive you for any sin. And that right there has opened my eyes to life. I realized that I am not a victim. I realize that I wasnt as perfect of a wife as I thought I was and I realized that I didnt love my husband unconditionally. I loved him but not his flaws. God loves me with my flaws. Sometimes the problems in your marriage or relationships with people is not always them. It actually could be you too. We can not change other people only ourselves. Lets take our mind off ourselves and put it on god. He will direct you the rest of the way.

My baggage


 #spirituality #love #meditation #spiritual #god #peace #wisdom #life #faith #soul #art #enlightenment #yoga #consciousness #inspiration #zen #nature #healing #mindfulness #quotes #awakening #religion #motivation #believe #spiritualawakening #goodvibes #energy #instagood #compassion #bhfyp #baggage, #growth, #personal, #truth

This was really hard for me to publish because this was something that i chose to keep inside but maybe my unfiltered truth can be someone elses break through. So i share with you unselfishly. Here goes……………………………. I didn’t eat too healthy today. Had honeycomb cereal for  breakfast,  watermelon for a snack ,  2 hot dogs and 1 bottle of water and Chex mix for snack. I have been feeling frustrated with myself and everything surrounding it. Marriage could be better, 2 kids leaving for the military soon, 37 without a real career going for myself making 500 a month,  and everybody looks to me to fix there problems. Sometimes I can handle it and other times, it’s just too much to handle.  Like I’m being pushed into a corner wall.  It’s hard for me to stick with one thing. I never finish what I start. I complain all the time and I trust no one. I’m very critical of others but I am offended when I’m criticized.  I don’t feel worthy a lot of times. I am the happiest when I’m with my kids. I like doing hair, I like giving advice, I like helping people with my money secretly, I love respectful kids, I’m excellent with money management,  I am detail oriented,  very organized, I love to be around positivity all the time, negativity puts me in a bad frame of mind, I love to laugh and make people laugh,  I strive for harmony, I hate liars even though I lie to myself, I don’t say what I really feel inside, I hide my feelings from others,  I worry what others think of me, I always want people to like and be pleased with me, I either don’t have any friends or I’m just not a good one, I’m a nagging person,  I love hard, I forgive fairly easy, I believe that Jesus died for me, I have been born again, I have accept Christ as my lord and savior, I love writing and putting my feelings down on paper, I love to see people do well in life whether they like me or not,  I’m a people’s person most of the time, I crave knowledge and wisdom, I love to show love and affection to the mistreated and homeless, I have a quick temper and a attitude problem, I can be one of the sweetest people you’ll ever meet, I get lazy when I’m bored, It’s hard for me to sit down and relax most of the time, I almost always see the glass half empty instead of half full, I don’t take well to rejection,  I’m too prideful to ask for help but I take pride in people in need of help,  I lose motivation really fast, I haven’t really healed from my past ( just kinda tuck it in my pockets), it’s hard for me to get over stuff, I loved my father but i never liked him (he was very  abusive to my mother), I believe I’m mixed but have no real  proof which angers me sometimes, I don’t have a genuine relationship with my only sister( I don’t think she ever got over the fact that I was born), I allow my fears to stop me from doing things I want to experience,  I ignore people’s phone calls when I don’t want to be bothered and I don’t know what my real passion or purpose is….. wheeeeew! !! Never did this before. I guess you can lie to everybody else but you can’t lie to yourself. Laying it all out.. God , can you handle all of this? This is what I’ve been holding onto for years. This is my baggage. 

Natural by choice or popularity?


DId you become natural because you felt like it was the best healthy choice or because its popular and everyone’s doing it now?

How would you describe your style and what is your goal length?

I made the decision to go natural for both reasons equally.

My style is pretty broad and hard to explain. I dress according to how I’m feeling. If that makes sense. I love the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s era. I enjoy different cultures and nationalities and sometimes I take bits and pieces from them all to make my own style. I love high heels but I can not walk in them. I like to dress my natural up with flowers, ribbons, hats, scarves etc. My goal length is waist length. My hair has never past bra strap length so I’m excited to reach my goal with all of you.

Tell me about yours….

..20130917_200029 (1)<<<<<<This is my hair length now<<<<<<<<

Image<<<<<<<<<This is my goal length<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

SEX…. Is it more of a chore or enjoyment?


This is another open forum for the ladies and gentlemen…

Question: Is sex more of a chore in a marriage/relationship or enjoyment?

I know some people can relate to  both sides. You hear about people being in relationship for a couple of years and lose the sexual enjoyment. Instead it become more of a chore. Something you do out of an obligation. If you didn’t have to do it you wouldn’t.

Quick scenario: chick gets ready for bed in a head scarf, sweat pants, big t-shirt with one sock on and the other one off. Boyfriend/ husband/fiancé, scratching his butt real hard, farts, look at his chic like she did it then yanks his boxers out of his crack just before getting under the covers. The chic has all kind of names going through her head that she wants to call him but instead both of them turn their backs to each other until……… he turns around and press it against her butt and then she has 2 seconds to come up with a good fake snore, get a fast head ache or take a deep breath and give in hoping it will be over soon.

My question is where does things go wrong? and why?  There are no right or wrong opinions.  I

I feel that sex is very important in  a relationship.  It’s where 2 people get a chance to connect on a spiritual level with their soul mate. It relieves stress, it makes your bond closer. It’s enjoyment for me… what about you?

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