I’m going to share with you all a personal moment in my life, when I didnt feel so pretty or good enough body wise. Being on social media and comparing myself to the people I saw on there. It was hard not seeing ppl on there that looked like myself.  I became self conscious and it showed in my personality towards others. It was after I had my 2nd son. My weight refuse to go down.  I didnt know how to deal with it or what to do to fix it. I had only one idea …..starve myself.  Yes, I know some of you personal trainers out there probably cringed when you read that but hey I didnt know any better at the time and I really had no one to teach me differently.  Starving myself seemed like it was working until my hair started falling out. Oh and I started getting a fever. And don’t get me started on the constant constipation, no energy and I even developed acid.  reflux. On top of all of that yall, I ended up gaining more weight. I couldn’t understand what I was doing wrong.  No eating = skinny …..right?     WRONG !!!!!!


My body was refusing to let go of the food I was eating because it didn’t know when it would get its next meal. Starving myself was having the opposite effect on my body. WTH !!!!???

After a couple of years of this, I realized that I wasn’t helping myself but hurting myself.  It wasn’t until I almost put myself into the hospital that I realized that the root of my problems was that I didn’t have any self love..  omg, I didn’t love myself. I didnt need to work on my weight, I needed to work on loving myself. Wow!! That hit me like a ton of bricks. So I shifted my thoughts from being over weight to how do I start loving myself. Which in return helped me to lose weight in the process. I started by researching ways to love yourself.

1st, was accept yourself just as you are, even if your not where you want to be. Now I must be honest, I knew this was going to be a hard one for me.

2nd, I had to stop comparing myself to others. So while I was going through this process, I took a break from social media for awhile.

3rd, I started walking. I used this time to give myself compliments the whole entire walk.  Yep, sure did.

4th, I started carrying a gallon of water with me everywhwere i went.   Omg water was soooo nasty to me at first but I saw how much water weight I was getting rid of so it started encouraging me to drink more of it.

5th, I stayed off of the scale. The break up was real. Sorry scale but we need to take break from each other for awhile.

6th, I started eating 5 small meals a day. High protein low carb meals.

After awhile of this, I could feel a change in my body and the way that I was feeling about myself.

I begin to realize that there was nothing wrong with my body. It was my mind that needed a diet.  I also started to realize that I wasn’t the only one going through this body shame thing. Both men and women feel this way. After more research I realized young girls and boys are experiencing this shame at an early age at an alarming rate. 

I knew I had to do something to help people  overcome this feeling of self hate but how?

I didnt have the answer back then but when I started photography, I kept running into the same problem with my clients being afraid to do photoshoots because of their ” love handles, stretch marks, big butts,  face, or because of their weigh gain as a whole.  Thats when the light bulb Ôí° went off.  I noticed how beautiful and confident they felt after doing a boudoir shoot or something a little sexy.  I enjoyed seeing the self love they found by looking at themselves in a way that they never did before.   I decided that boudoir was a way for me to help, teach and give back all at the same time. 

We are all beautiful. Everyone is not suppose to be skinny.  Some of us are suppose to be voluptuous queens And teddy bear kings. Who doesn’t still love their favorite teddy bear?  Stop being hard on yourselves and show more love and admiration.  C’mon look at yourself in the mirror, blow a kiss at yourself and own that shit….


I finally got my nose pierced and I’m glad I did it. Before you look at this video, just know that I was afraid lolol. I do not like anything that resembles a needle. It might as well have been a sword going through my nose. Lol. I honestly think I reverted back to a 3rd grader while getting this piercing. But enough of that. You’ll get the picture when you watch the video


So, I went to get my nose pierced. I was so excited. Actually my husband treated me to a nose piercing on one of our monthly dates. So after getting the piercing things were looking pretty good. My nose was a little sore but that was pretty much it. Sleeping with a nose piercing proved different for me. It seemed like every time I turned around, I was hitting my nose with my arm or hand. What are the odds of this happening? Well a few days of this first fight with my nose, I started to notice a bump near my piercing. It started getting bigger and bigger. I couldnt take it anymore so I started looking at videos on how to get rid of this ugly bump. I tried the sea salt and hot water, peroxide and I even used ear piercing solution. Nothing worked !!! Oneday I decided to try alcohol on a cotton q-tip and what do you know……..it felt like a miracle. I started to see the bump disappear extremely fast. Within 2days, it was gone. Here’s the how to video https://youtu.be/SAIIU7F5AMQ


My husband just turned 67 years old on August 10th. I cant get over how young he looks. I mean…….what kind of vitamins are you taking sir? What kind of holy water fountain are you drinking from? Maybe it’s because your vegan. It looks like hes full of juices and berries. If you dont believe me check out the rest of his recent pictures from a photoshoot I did with him.
See!!!! I told you !!!! This man is amazing. At 67 years old, he chases after the mailman every saturday because he cant stay off of amazon website. The crazy part yall is that he chases the mailman with his shoes off…. doesnt that just turns you on?
This is my husband sitting down thinking. See when your 67 years old, it’s hard for you to think with your head up because your neck is weaker at that age. So the gravity of a his bighead pulls his neck down.
Oh !! And on this picture, I think hes looking at my butt. I’m probably bending over picking up some carrots off of the floor for him to snack on. I cant explain to you why he loves dirty carrots but my guess is he think he is bugs bunny or something. But anyways you guys, this is my antique 67 yr old husband. P.s. this was fun to write. I hope you enjoyed and had a good laugh today…
P.s.s. Hes also a personal trainer.
This is he and CT Fletcher in Las Vegas 2019. CT is like your how….old MF??? !!! Lol (jk jk ) If you have fitness questions, he would be glad to answer them for you. You can follow him on youtube, instagram and fb under ” avid athletics”


First, let me start by saying that there are many different ways that one can ground him or herself.

As a matter of fact, my last post “A surprising benefit of a hot/cold shower ” talks about it.

Other ways are standing straight and simply place one hand over your crown chakra (A post on that later) or simply place one hand on the top of your head for 60 secs and imagine yourself being push into the ground like this

Well sort of like this……lol

You can also place your bare feet or hands directly in the dirt like this

Grounding reconnects you to the earth and your spirtual self to your physical self. Its important to make sure you are grounded especially if you are doing energy work such as reiki or any type of healing, intuitive work or if your an empath.

  • Grounding yourself minimizes inflammation in the body.
  • Regulates heart rate.
  • Lowers blood pressure.
  • Increases blood flow.
  • Regulate stress hormones.
  • Absorbs negative energy.
  • Helps you to become more balanced. Whichever method you choose, I’m sure it will work for you. Like the old folks use to say…….dont knock it until you’ve tried itūüėė.
  • until then……

We all know the normal benefits of taking a hot and cold shower right?

If not, here are some.

Cold shower –

Prevent colds, tightens the skin, reduces stress, stimulates the immune system, help with weight loss, and closes pores as well as other benefits.

Hot shower-

Helps with stress, headaches, relaxes muscles, relieve nasal congestion, help you sleep and open pores.

I must admit. All of these benefits are good to know. But there is one surprising benefit of taking a hot and cold shower (Especially cold) that I can bet you didnt know it is also great for…………

Spirtual Grounding!!!!!!

Yeeeessss, honteee!! The same spirtual grounding as this

Go figure…..was I the only one that was out of the loop?

If you want to know more about ground or earthing, I’ll meet you at my next blog post titled “what is grounding and why you need it”

SEX…. Is it more of a chore or enjoyment?


This is another open forum for the ladies and gentlemen…

Question: Is sex more of a chore in a marriage/relationship or enjoyment?

I know some people can relate to  both sides. You hear about people being in relationship for a couple of years and lose the sexual enjoyment. Instead it become more of a chore. Something you do out of an obligation. If you didn’t have to do it you wouldn’t.

Quick scenario: chick gets ready for bed in a head scarf, sweat pants, big t-shirt with one sock on and the other one off. Boyfriend/ husband/fianc√©, scratching his butt real hard, farts, look at his chic like she did it then yanks his boxers out of his crack just before getting under the covers. The chic has all kind of names going through her head that she wants to call him but instead both of them turn their backs to each other until……… he turns around and press it against her butt and then she has 2 seconds to come up with a good fake snore, get a fast head ache or take a deep breath and give in hoping it will be over soon.

My question is where does things go wrong? and why?  There are no right or wrong opinions.  I

I feel that sex is very important in  a relationship.  It’s where 2 people get a chance to connect on a spiritual level with their soul mate. It relieves stress, it makes your bond closer. It’s enjoyment for me… what about you?

Trichotillosis- 50 ways to stop pulling your hair


50 Ways to Stop Pulling Your Hair

Originally published on the TLCTRICHSUPPORT email group.

As many  of you know I am over 9 weeks pull free. I started to come up with a list of  ideas on how to stop pulling your hair for a article im writing. I am going to  list them below.

50 ways to stop pulling your hair
*   = I have tried these methods.       ** = These tips have helped me the most.

  • Wear a bandana to bed. *
  • Make a sticker chart. Everyday that you go without pulling add a¬† sticker. Hang this sticker chart in a room where you pull the most.**
  • Reward yourself after several days (or hours) of being pull free.*
  • Be patient with yourself.*
  • Join a support group.*
  • Talk to another person with Trichotillomania.*
  • Wet down your hair. This will make it really hard to pull out your¬† hair since it will be slippery.*
  • Learn what your body needs instead of pulling. Is your body tired,¬† hungry, sleepy, excited, etc? Then tell yourself out loud what you need¬†¬† and go do it.**
  • Get a membership with TLC
  • Stimulate your senses. Many of us that pull like the sensation¬† that comes with it. Instead of pulling do other things to stimulate these such¬† as washing your hair, brushing your lips on dental floss or string (if you rub¬† the hair on your lips), and massaging your scalp.*
  • Avoid caffeine right before bed. Often bed time is a time when a¬† lot of people pull. By using caffeine you keep yourself up longer and it¬† heightens anxiety.*
  • Buy a fidget toy.*
  • Find other things to do with your hands such as knitting,¬† crocheting, or cross stitch. *
  • Wear a hoodie to bed as a barrier to pulling. *
  • Go see a psychologist that performs cognitive behavioral therapy
  • Try hypnotherapy *
  • Make small reasonable goals. Such as I will not pull for the next¬† three hours. Then keep increasing your time.
  • Look at your hair in the mirror everyday with your hands behind¬† your back. Stare into the mirror until the anxiety to pull has lessened. This¬† is called exposure therapy and it does work!¬† **
  • Look in the mirror every day to see how much its grown. Be proud¬† of your hard work. **
  • Brush your hair instead of pulling*
  • Have a positive attitude**
  • If you pull some hair do not beat yourself up about it, just try¬† again.
  • Use the saying “every hair belongs on my head” and¬† repeat this over and over until the urge to pull ceases.*
  • Make yourself busy, too much down time can be dangerous.*
  • Help others, which in turn will help you.**
  • Read everything you can on the internet about trichotillomania and¬† the treatment plans to deal with it.*
  • Watch shows and documentaries about trichotillomania to learn new¬† techniques.*
  • Wear perfume on your hands so that you will realize when your hand¬† is going up to pull out your hair.
  • Name the hairs you want to pull out. It sounds silly but for some¬† it works.
  • Spend less time in the areas of your house that you pull in.*
  • Keep a journal of your feelings.*
  • Find a hair that is laying around your house and stare at it¬† daily. For many people the sight of hair can trigger hair pulling. By staring¬† at a piece of hair everyday you are exposing yourself to the anxiety that¬† follows. This will eventually cause the anxiety to lessen.*
  • Also read textbooks about the anatomy of hair. This does the same¬† thing as #32
  • Play with silly putty *
  • Take a long bath to ease the anxiety.**
  • Wear a wig the entire day, until you go to bed. Then put on a¬† bandana. ( Only use this the first two weeks or so, then trust yourself enough¬† to take it off)*
  • Take good care of your hair. Appreciating the hair you have will¬† provide you with the courage you need to grow more. This means you should brush¬† your hair daily, wash it at least once a day if possible, and respect that it¬† belongs on your head.*
  • Put your tweezers in a cabinet until you need them for grooming,¬† not Trichotillomania. If you use tweezers a lot you may need to throw them out¬† and only buy new ones when you have your Trichotillomania under control.*
  • Imagine your life without Trichotillomania and with hair.**
  • Place lotion or gel on your hands so it’s hard to grasp the hair¬† you want to pull.
  • Place notes that say “NO” or inspirational sayings about¬† stopping hair pulling in places where you normally pull.
  • Wear a rubber band around your wrist to snap every time you want¬† to pull.
  • Wear a bead bracelet to fidget¬† with.
  • Lift weights. Your arms will be too tired to want to pull.
  • Pet an animal. Sometimes just running your hands through a pet’s¬† fur can stimulate the same sensation that you need in order to ease anxiety.*
  • Meditate.
  • Take pictures of your bald spots and post them where you usually¬† pull. When seeing these pictures you will not want to pull since bald spots are¬† frightening.
  • Tell your friends and family to tell you to stop if they see you¬† pulling. *
  • Spread the word about Trichotillomania. Sometimes telling other¬† people about our condition helps us¬† want¬† to change it. *
  • Last but not least learn to love yourself. Only then¬† can you start to heal. **

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