While watching the surviving R kelly movement on lifetime, so many different emotions had me gripping the edge of my seat. I listened to these women tell their stories. As I listened, paying extremely close attention to their body language and their eyes, it sadden me. Body language and emotion in the eyes of a person will tell you more than what comes out of their mouth. Let me say that as a woman who was also molested as a child by close individual(s) of my family, my heart goes out to the victims on a personal level. I do believe them. Their was one female in particular that I have reservations about and that was the lady by the name of sparkle.
To me, she has a deviousness about her. I could almost see a small smirk on her face of vindictiveness when she said certain things that most people would probably miss. Dont get me wrong, do I think shes telling the truth about alot of things? Absolutely, I do but I feel their might be some fabrication added for get back purposes. Could I be completely inaccurate? Absolutely. It’s just an observation. So dont beat me up about it. Now, to the part that alot people might want to beat me up about… there is a part of me that also hurt for the 6-14 year old Robert kelly who was also molested “allegedly” by his own sister and did the exact same thing to him and his younger brother that he did to these girls. That’s enough to create a mentally ill monster. Yes, I think rkelly is mentally ill. I feel, after any type of molestation occurs, one of two things will happen. 1. The victim grows up and become that same type of monster. 2. The victim grows up and become extremely overprotective of themselves and others. Living in fear that something bad is going to happen. Living in constant panic mode with their guard always up. Not trusting anybody or anything. To this day, I function like number 2. I am still today overprotective over my kids. Growing up they never knew why lol they just thought I was too overprotective. It affects you really bad mentally. It doesn’t matter how much you try to normalize your life. It’s always a part of you. I tried to tell an immediate family member after building up the courage but in return, my accusation was shot down. The person I confided in didn’t believe me or take me seriously. Which made me angry inside. I am bringing this up because I understand how hard it can be to be scared to tell someone. For the ones that do tell and nobody believes you like rkellys brother said he did, makes you feel like, well if they dont believe me, nobody will. To this day I live my life “on guard”. Do I Condone robert Kelly’s behavior? Absolutely Not! If someone does something to you that is bad, you naturally know that it’s bad. So if you know how wrong it is or was when it was done to you, why would do that to someone else so that they can experience the pain that you did. I see alot of victims here including Robert kelly “the child”. Let’s also be clear here, this molesting shit is also happening to boys!!! Boys that are growing up to be husbands and fathers. Living with this hurt and pain too. Let’s talk about that as well. Just because they are men does not mean they shouldn’t speak up or get help. There are married men with real families that are living in secret with something that happens to them as children and feel that they will be looked down upon if they talk about it. Pain is pain people. I would like to send love and healing to the victims of this particular story.
I will be posting a response to each episode of surviving R kelly.
Stay tuned and please share this and have open discussion about this huge silenced topic.