Lately, I’ve been running into so many people who have a down fall of constantly trying to please other people. I know many of you reading this can relate. Rather it’s you parents, boyfriend, wife, children, boss, friends etc. How many times have you said, I want to go here or wear this outfit but I know (fill in the blank) won’t like it? So, you end up not doing what you want, just so someone else is pleased. Being a people pleaser makes you miserable. I must confess that I had it bad. I put my own feelings aside for people that mattered and it was so bad that I was trying to please people that I knew didn’t like me. How crazy is that? And let’s not talk about relationships. .. Omg, I use to bend over backwards for whoever I was dating to prove myself worthy to him. I liked wearing lipstick but if I knew they didn’t like it, I wouldn’t wear it. Or what about this all familar scenerio.
me: I want to go eat at McDonald’s.
Boyfriend: I like Burger King better. ( even though I hate Burger king)
me: oh ok, I’m sure I can find something there.
Meanwhile, I’m sitting at the restaurant miserable because I’m not happy with my choice but My hardest obstacle in life was my own mother.( believe it or not) My mom always used these manipulating tactics with me growing up. For instance, I always wanted to go to the airforce. So, after high school, I took the Asvab test to go to the Airfoce. That was around the same time my father passed away. So when my mom found out my plans, she started saying to me how if I left, she wouldn’t have anyone else here and how anything could happen to her. So instead of going through with my plans, I allowed her to manipulate me into staying and I never left. I’m still here in the same city (One decision I will always regret). When she saw that worked, she started using it to pick my friends. After I was married, I told her that my new husband and I ate thinking of moving 1 hour away to start our lives and what did she do? She starting tell me how she’s getting old and if she dies, she wanted me to have the house. I’m like, ok this is getting ridiculous. On her part and mine because I was allowing her to do it. To make a long story short. We are still moving and I am determined to live my life for me. My advice to you all is to realize your worth and start living like your worthy. Stop living to please others cause you’ll never satisfy them. Satisfying yourself is much more rewarding even though it’s hard to do at first. It’s worth it in the end.